Tag Archives: poem

Please Mrs Patterson #poem #poetry

I’m feeling a little poetical. This one is based on Allan Ahlberg’s brilliant Please Mrs Butler. Please enjoy… Oh and there’s a random image of Dog and the garden at the end…. Please Mrs Patterson Roger’s an awful little pest; He’s … Continue reading

Posted in dogs, poems, poetry | Tagged , , , , | 29 Comments

Loyalty #poem #poetry

I’m ready when you squint from your pillow And I’ll remain till you give in to sleep For it is my job to be your shadow And never fail to keep hold of your feet. When you’re young you may … Continue reading

Posted in poems, poetry | Tagged , , | 23 Comments

What To Do While Bored: The Poetry Advice Edition

Never pick your nose in public Or roll it in a ball And if you must pee outdoors, Just not against the wall. … Your zits are not for squeezing In any public place And if you have the urge … Continue reading

Posted in humour, miscellany, poems, poetry, thought piece | Tagged , , , | 24 Comments

Nights During Lockdown #terriblepoetry

Chelsea Owens’ terrible poetry contest this week has us rewriting a well known song with the current pandemic as the theme. Thus The Topic is a parody of a popular song on the theme of COVID-19. Yep, I’m asking for … Continue reading

Posted in miscellany, poems, poetry | Tagged , , , , , | 34 Comments

Spring? Yeah Right. #poem #terriblepoetry

I thought I’d try Chelsea’s latest terrible poetry challenge, here. Spring? Yeah, right Spring has finally sprung But like a gorilla on an old mattress It’s barely left the ground Which is frankly disappointing. * This year’s daffodils Have wandered … Continue reading

Posted in miscellany, poems, poetry | Tagged , , , , | 40 Comments

Hoarding…. #limericks

‘It‘s a risk,’ said the serial hoarder, ‘That I may cause civil disorder By buying up Frosties And making you crossties So I’ll probably stick to cornflakes…’ Or To hoard takes three things: there’s pluck And a significant dollop of … Continue reading

Posted in humour, limericks, miscellany, poems, poetry | Tagged , , , , | 16 Comments

A Sonnet For Clarice #carrotranch #shakespeare

Shall I compare you to a Summer’s day? You’d not be flattered but angry and pissed, Sneering at my explanations and insist I’m a retarded male with nothing to say. My compliments are often misconstrued As the feeble patriarchy at … Continue reading

Posted in carrot ranch, miscellany, poems, poetry, sonnets | Tagged , , , , | 22 Comments

A Gem Of A Marriage

A gem of a marriage We married young and liked our funAs do healthy boys and girlsWe stayed quite flirty at year thirtyRomping on a bed of pearls. We didn’t brag cos we were gladTo bounce around like newbiesWe’d kept … Continue reading

Posted in poems, poetry | Tagged , | 36 Comments

Yep, Poetry #poems #poetry

Jabbering On (Jabberwocky, Lewis Carroll) ‘Twas brillig and the slithy toves Did what Toves do, on wet Tuesdays When old men exclaimed ‘By Joves’ As Nanny burped and loosed her stays. The rabbit tapped his watch and spat ‘Oh come … Continue reading

Posted in miscellany, poems, poetry | Tagged , , , | 9 Comments

Encore Un Poem #poem #poetry

Dodgy Ozy: A Man For All Seasoning (Ozymandias of Egypt, Percy Bysshe Shelley) I met a traveller from an antique land A dodgy geezer from my wild youth Who used the pseudonym of Ozy. I hesitated for a while: Was … Continue reading

Posted in poems, poetry | Tagged , , | 7 Comments