Search Results for: poetry

A Warning. #poem #poetry

Sea Fever by John Masefield is a classic that begins ‘I must down to the seas again’. This is my alternative version…. I must up to the loo again As I give in to the urge to pee And while … Continue reading

Posted in humour, miscellany, poems, poetry | Tagged , , , , | 21 Comments

Poetic Rant (Sort Of) #poem #poetry

A silly ranty poem… I hate it when you’re lateI loathe your clothes(I detest that vest)I abhor you forThat girl-next-doorNiceness.It pisses me when you kisses meDespite my animosityNot making you cross at me.How can my integral animusNot cause you to … Continue reading

Posted in miscellany | 15 Comments

Ars Poetica #poem #poetry

A poem is an erotic pass the parcel with words, Seductively shedding its millefeuille of meanings to tease you with its deceits. You climb up through its stanzas, in search of the rhythms on the next horizon Which may leave … Continue reading

Posted in poems, poetry | Tagged , | 16 Comments

Revenge Is A Dish Best Served Posthumously #poem #poetry

The older that I get I do regret Another daybreak Such a butt ache. Time speeds past Another breakfast More eggs on toast Less me, more ghost. A beardy old fool Splattered with drool Filled with tea Needing a pee. … Continue reading

Posted in poems, poetry | Tagged | 23 Comments

Complaining #poetry #poem

What is it about complaining? You approach the counter Already rehearsing your clever, witty rejoinder. Then, confronted by the hapless helper With a smile and a ‘can I help you?’ All leant during role play On the training away day … Continue reading

Posted in poems, poetry | Tagged , | 18 Comments

Christmas/New Year Limericks #poetry

As parents we parrot the mantra ‘Be good or you’ll miss out on Santa’. But they know we’ll regret Making good on our threat By morphing from angel to gangster. * Annually we solemnly resolveOur past crimes to try and … Continue reading

Posted in limericks, poems, poetry | Tagged , , , , | 8 Comments

You’re Never Too Old poem #poetry #whenyouareold #wbyeats

As part of my on-going series of rewritten famous poems in English, this takes W.B. Yeats ‘When you are old’ as it’s starting point. As before, the first line and structure remains consistent, the rest is down to me… When … Continue reading

Posted in poems, poetry | Tagged , , | 10 Comments

The Christmas Letter #amusedpoetry #chelowens

Chelsea runs her A Mused poetry contest here. This weeks it is the Christmas letter, in poetry form… okay, what about this? Anus Horribilis – my bum year Well 2020’s been one hell of a year Though as you see … Continue reading

Posted in miscellany, poems, poetry | Tagged , , , | 30 Comments

The Relief Of Waterloo #poetry #worldtoiletday

As a small homage to those wonderful people the world over who provide us all with toilet facilities and in praise of World Toilet Day I give you my rewrite of After The Listeners, Walter de la Mare Is there … Continue reading

Posted in poems, poetry | Tagged , , | 7 Comments

Forbidden Love #poems #poetry #theowlandthepussy-cay

Here’s another top 100 English poems reinterpreted, this time the beautiful The Owl And The Pussy-Cat by Edward Lear The Owl and the Pussy-Cat went to sea To escape the prying attention Of an intrusive media, and several far seedier … Continue reading

Posted in miscellany, poems, poetry | Tagged , , , | 16 Comments