This week’s prompt had me researching a childhood TV series and discovering some interesting information
Post Pugwash: the next phase
It has been suggested that the stories involving the crew of the Black Pig under the command of Captain Horatio Pugwash were the subject of a fictional TV series for children. And it has been further mooted that the crew went by different names to those listed online. Indeed, a TV series was commissioned* and for reasons of abstruse copywrong rules, names were changed to ensure both anonymity and the continuation of cheap laughs.
The Black Pig, a fourteen ounce, six pinter was often underestimated as it never achieved the kudos that came with a capacity of 8 pints or more and thus allowing it to self-label as a galleon.
But despite its intrinsic lack of size, its utterly incompetent crew and its always irascible yet myopically optimistic captain, it achieved great things.
Amongst its other successes, it discovered the destiny of the crew of the Marie Celeste who’d auditioned for a pre TV version of Love Island. On the first day, they had been assured the ‘live feed’ was ready to go. Sadly the props department misunderstood the requirements and the crew were indeed fed live to a ravenous shoal of super-aggressive shrimp.
Later it proved the Bermuda Triangle was in fact an oblated rhomboid into which all known stuff would slip through a flaw in the space time continuum and end up in Turkish recycling centres to be melted down and moulded into small, anatomically accurate ‘Ken’ versions of President Erdogan.
The ships greatest, if unannounced success was to be the first to penetrate the North-West passage, though the psychological damage to and consequential repercussions from the North-West finding a small snub nosed black pig half way through its passage have been felt around the world in the shape of constant foul smelling winds that have disrupted both El Niño and the atmosphere’s oxygen content.
Inevitably the Captain and crew retired from their adventures on the open sea, to careers as previously despised landlubbers.
Captain Pugwash married his long time sweetheart, Al Sayshun and together they established a chain of canine cleaning and crimping facilities for flatfaced dogs.
Seaman Staines spent some time rather self absorbed, and after a few false starts in the laundry business he discovered a niche testing the accuracy of water pistols.
Master Bates hankered for a life as a motor mechanic but following a depressing conviction involving an itinerant evangelist from Piddle Trenthide and a misfiring big end one Saturday night in a local park, he turned to politics where his career as a Tory MP took off after he proved to be adept at mishandling sticky situations.
And what of the youngest crew member, Roger the Cabin Boy? He’s still looking for a suitable opening…
*for those not in the know about the original, which is an echo from my childhood, see https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Captain_Pugwash
TanGental 
Ah, got them all there, I think.
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We had a TV series called Gilligan’s Island that was only on for a couple seasons but which has mythic folklore status today. 😂
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I think I loved it but it was so long ago…
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😂😂😂
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I suffered with blistering barnacles for many years!
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Strictly that’s a Tintin quote that Pugwash may have stolen!!
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Lol Geoff how did the BBC get away with . I remember it well and a little child it all went over my head! … I loved it as do my lads today . I really enjoyed this post a great use of the prompt !
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The BBC didn’t use those names – see gordon759 below 🙂 !
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Yes just looked them up and indeed my memory was playing games with me but the miss named names are synonymous with the characters 💜
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The actual names apart from Master Mates were pretty dull
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Yes the boys and your versions were much better 💜💜
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I never said they did…
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They didn’t. That was the joke really!!
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Yes indeed 😛😛
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Beware of misnaming the characters to suggest that they are double entendres, when the Guardian did it they were successfully sued by Captain Pugwash’s creator!
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If you read my post carefully you’ll see I never suggest the TV series used names with double entendre….!!
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So speaks the lawyer
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You can take the boy out of the law…
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I know you didn’t, Geoff. I was replying to willowdot 21 but could only see one way of doing so but didn’t reference them. Willowdot replied to the comment, though.
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My silly!!
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Most inventive.
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Wonderful stuff, Geoff. I particularly like the idea that El Niño is a result of an unwelcome penetration of the North West Passage.
I think I knew that Master Bates was in fact Master Mates, but I’m perplexed to discover from the other comments that Seaman Staines and Roger the Cabin Boy didn’t actually exist. Your version is the one forever etched on our collective memories, and long may it remain there. To paraphrase someone profound, “the facts are sometimes at odds with the truth”.
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I wish it were true but whoever can up with the notion deserves a gong.
BTW I did some work with the German electronics behemoth Siemens in the nineties. They took some office space west of london. The operator soon had to change their greeting to callers: ‘Good morning . This is Siemens Staines, how may we assist?’
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Haha. Fantastic!
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I always remember Frank Skinner’s analysis of the England goalkeeper’s impressive record during Euro ‘96, where he concluded, “I’d never have guessed someone called Seaman could keep so many clean sheets”.
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Brilliant! Love that kind of humour…
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