Pugwash: The Next Phase #writephoto

This week’s prompt had me researching a childhood TV series and discovering some interesting information

Post Pugwash: the next phase

It has been suggested that the stories involving the crew of the Black Pig under the command of Captain Horatio Pugwash were the subject of a fictional TV series for children. And it has been further mooted that the crew went by different names to those listed online. Indeed, a TV series was commissioned* and for reasons of abstruse copywrong rules, names were changed to ensure both anonymity and the continuation of cheap laughs.

The Black Pig, a fourteen ounce, six pinter was often underestimated as it never achieved the kudos that came with a capacity of 8 pints or more and thus allowing it to self-label as a galleon.

But despite its intrinsic lack of size, its utterly incompetent crew and its always irascible yet myopically optimistic captain, it achieved great things.

Amongst its other successes, it discovered the destiny of the crew of the Marie Celeste who’d auditioned for a pre TV version of Love Island. On the first day, they had been assured the ‘live feed’ was ready to go. Sadly the props department misunderstood the requirements and the crew were indeed fed live to a ravenous shoal of super-aggressive shrimp.

Later it proved the Bermuda Triangle was in fact an oblated rhomboid into which all known stuff would slip through a flaw in the space time continuum and end up in Turkish recycling centres to be melted down and moulded into small, anatomically accurate ‘Ken’ versions of President Erdogan.

The ships greatest, if unannounced success was to be the first to penetrate the North-West passage, though the psychological damage to and consequential repercussions from the North-West finding a small snub nosed black pig half way through its passage have been felt around the world in the shape of constant foul smelling winds that have disrupted both El Niño and the atmosphere’s oxygen content.

Inevitably the Captain and crew retired from their adventures on the open sea, to careers as previously despised landlubbers.

Captain Pugwash married his long time sweetheart, Al Sayshun and together they established a chain of canine cleaning and crimping facilities for flatfaced dogs.

Seaman Staines spent some time rather self absorbed, and after a few false starts in the laundry business he discovered a niche testing the accuracy of water pistols.

Master Bates hankered for a life as a motor mechanic but following a depressing conviction involving an itinerant evangelist from Piddle Trenthide and a misfiring big end one Saturday night in a local park, he turned to politics where his career as a Tory MP took off after he proved to be adept at mishandling sticky situations.

And what of the youngest crew member, Roger the Cabin Boy? He’s still looking for a suitable opening…

*for those not in the know about the original, which is an echo from my childhood, see https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Captain_Pugwash

About TanGental

My name is Geoff Le Pard. Once I was a lawyer; now I am a writer. I've published several books: a four book series following Harry Spittle as he grows from hapless student to hapless partner in a London law firm; four others in different genres; a book of poetry; four anthologies of short fiction; and a memoir of my mother. I have several more in the pipeline. I have been blogging regularly since 2014, on topic as diverse as: poetry based on famous poems; memories from my life; my garden; my dog; a whole variety of short fiction; my attempts at baking and food; travel and the consequent disasters; theatre, film and book reviews; and the occasional thought piece. Mostly it is whatever takes my fancy. I avoid politics, mostly, and religion, always. I don't mean to upset anyone but if I do, well, sorry and I suggest you go elsewhere. These are my thoughts and no one else is to blame. If you want to nab anything I post, please acknowledge where it came from.
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26 Responses to Pugwash: The Next Phase #writephoto

  1. Mick Canning says:

    Ah, got them all there, I think.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Pam Lazos says:

    We had a TV series called Gilligan’s Island that was only on for a couple seasons but which has mythic folklore status today. 😂

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I suffered with blistering barnacles for many years!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. willowdot21 says:

    Lol Geoff how did the BBC get away with . I remember it well and a little child it all went over my head! … I loved it as do my lads today . I really enjoyed this post a great use of the prompt !

    Liked by 1 person

  5. gordon759 says:

    Beware of misnaming the characters to suggest that they are double entendres, when the Guardian did it they were successfully sued by Captain Pugwash’s creator!

    Liked by 3 people

  6. trifflepudling says:

    I know you didn’t, Geoff. I was replying to willowdot 21 but could only see one way of doing so but didn’t reference them. Willowdot replied to the comment, though.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. George says:

    Wonderful stuff, Geoff. I particularly like the idea that El Niño is a result of an unwelcome penetration of the North West Passage.

    I think I knew that Master Bates was in fact Master Mates, but I’m perplexed to discover from the other comments that Seaman Staines and Roger the Cabin Boy didn’t actually exist. Your version is the one forever etched on our collective memories, and long may it remain there. To paraphrase someone profound, “the facts are sometimes at odds with the truth”.


    • TanGental says:

      I wish it were true but whoever can up with the notion deserves a gong.
      BTW I did some work with the German electronics behemoth Siemens in the nineties. They took some office space west of london. The operator soon had to change their greeting to callers: ‘Good morning . This is Siemens Staines, how may we assist?’

      Liked by 1 person

  8. George says:

    I always remember Frank Skinner’s analysis of the England goalkeeper’s impressive record during Euro ‘96, where he concluded, “I’d never have guessed someone called Seaman could keep so many clean sheets”.

    Liked by 1 person

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