The Moaning Of Trees #limericks

Woody’s arse was one constant itch and

It was enough to make the tree screech.

‘I’ve discovered my sphincter’

‘Is full of sharp splinters,’

‘Which explains why I’m such an old beech.’

About TanGental

My name is Geoff Le Pard. Once I was a lawyer; now I am a writer. I've published several books: a four book series following Harry Spittle as he grows from hapless student to hapless partner in a London law firm; four others in different genres; a book of poetry; four anthologies of short fiction; and a memoir of my mother. I have several more in the pipeline. I have been blogging regularly since 2014, on topic as diverse as: poetry based on famous poems; memories from my life; my garden; my dog; a whole variety of short fiction; my attempts at baking and food; travel and the consequent disasters; theatre, film and book reviews; and the occasional thought piece. Mostly it is whatever takes my fancy. I avoid politics, mostly, and religion, always. I don't mean to upset anyone but if I do, well, sorry and I suggest you go elsewhere. These are my thoughts and no one else is to blame. If you want to nab anything I post, please acknowledge where it came from.
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35 Responses to The Moaning Of Trees #limericks

  1. willowdot21 says:

    Better splinters than wood worm!!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Okay, I had to look up “sphincter” and now I don’t know what is more troubling – that someone had to name such a part of our body or that you would know it. . .

    Liked by 1 person

  3. noelleg44 says:

    Is that really a beech tree?

    Liked by 1 person

  4. That’s a very photogenic tree. Did you know there are 50 or 60 sphincters in our bodies and one of them is called the Sphincter of Oddi Dysfunction (SOD)? Nice limerick by the way.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. JT Twissel says:

    If trees could talk – well, maybe not!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I think I met one of the offspring. He must of had splinters since he was such a son of a beech.

    Liked by 2 people

  7. gordon759 says:

    Did you see the bit in the paper the other day, that plants can tell you if they want a drink

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Pam Lazos says:


    Liked by 1 person

  9. V.M.Sang says:

    What a fabulous old tree. (And limerick,too.) I love really old trees.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. I have no idea how these poems enter your mind, Geoff. Who could possibly contemplate these concepts? I can’t stop laughing. Thanks for the fun.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Roberta Eaton Cheadle says:

    Haha, GEoff, I am quite sure that splinters are a problem.

    Liked by 1 person

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