February 27, 2023, prompt: In 99 words (no more, no less), write a story about a golden onion. Any golden onion. One planted or harvested. An onion chopped for a meal. How can you use an onion as a prop in a character’s hand? Go where the prompt leads!
Knowing One’s Onions
The Little Tittweaking’s Fruit and Veg show often produced surprises. Bea Troot won the Wanda Lust Memorial Tooting Rooting category for her Requiem radishes, named when impresario Di O’Reah used these volcanic veg to fuel her Bach From The Arse soirées. Ro Maine protested Chico Rees entry for the Ms Limp Leaves garland arguing they were a trans-salad and not a lettuce from seed. When Pearl Onions displayed her magnificent golden glowing orbs, the press went wild with the headline.
Once again Pearl Onions has proved to one and all the sun really does shine out of her alliums
My name is Geoff Le Pard. Once I was a lawyer; now I am a writer. I've published several books: a four book series following Harry Spittle as he grows from hapless student to hapless partner in a London law firm; four others in different genres; a book of poetry; four anthologies of short fiction; and a memoir of my mother. I have several more in the pipeline.
I have been blogging regularly since 2014, on topic as diverse as: poetry based on famous poems; memories from my life; my garden; my dog; a whole variety of short fiction; my attempts at baking and food; travel and the consequent disasters; theatre, film and book reviews; and the occasional thought piece. Mostly it is whatever takes my fancy.
I avoid politics, mostly, and religion, always. I don't mean to upset anyone but if I do, well, sorry and I suggest you go elsewhere.
These are my thoughts and no one else is to blame. If you want to nab anything I post, please acknowledge where it came from.
TanGental 
Very amusing
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Marvellous. Thank you.
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There are no words. I am all of a titter!
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Oh nurse! Or are you channelling your Dick Emery!
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I see Charles Hawtrey in this role!
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One of kind.
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So many laughable lines, Geoff. Well done.
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It is always a pleasure!
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My head hurts ….
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Turning into a vegetable?
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I already am….and right when we are an endangered species?
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Very funny. Little Tweaking is a wonderful place. I wish I lived there.
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I think it’s so full of characters it probably has its own unique font (other parts of the church are avilable)
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😂😂😂
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I knew I was in for a treat when I saw your headline, Geoff. It sure is golden – every layer.
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