Double Trouble #writephoto

This week’s #writephoto prompt is

It was a dark and stormy night…

‘Hello? Is anyone there?’

The man on the corner stopped the stranger. He held a large pipe. ‘Gotta light, Mac?’

‘No, but I can get hold of a short brown overcoat, if that helps.’

The man lowered his pipe and then turned away. ‘You want to be careful around here.’

The stranger watched him go. Exactly, he thought. He checked the slip of paper. Number 9. He walked along the gloomy alley until he reached the ninth door. He knocked.

A voice, at once both cheery and malevolent echoed from somewhere deep inside. ‘You want next door.’

‘I do?’

‘You counted from the wrong end.’

‘I did?’

‘Indeed. Though well done on getting us some peace.’

‘I did?’

‘You told that guy to pipe down.’

‘No, actually he did that of his accord.’

But there was no response.

The stranger went next door. He knocked.

‘What do you want?’ This voice oozed a sort of bland familiarity.

‘I’m looking for Banality and Bromide?’

‘Never heard of them.’

‘But I was told…’

‘Just bugger off.’

‘But I’m desperate.’

‘Desmond Perate? Well, that’s different. Did Ann Xious send you?’

‘Yes, she said…’

‘Shush, Des. Just come inside where no one can hear. If they weren’t deaf even the walls would hear.’

‘They have ears?’

‘Don’t be bloody daft; they’re made of bricks. Now if Ann sent you, you must be having an originality problem.’

‘Yes, exactly. Can you help?’

‘Take a seat. Now, bring it back and sit on it. How long have you struggled with your cliches?’

‘I noticed it last week. I promised myself I’d go round and round in circles only I started describing ellipses. I managed to force out one good turn…’

‘Did it deserve another?’

‘I hoped so, but by the I was at my wit’s end.’

‘Oh dear. What did you find?’

‘After the ‘T’ just a howling void.’

‘You must be desperate.’

‘I am. Though most people call me Dessie. Have you any idea what the problem is?’

‘I think so. Are you a writer?’

‘Yes.’

‘And you use two keyboards?’

‘How did you know?’

‘Oh, it’s not uncommon. You’ve been stereotyping.’

‘Wow. I never knew that could come on so quickly. Is there a treatment?’

‘There is. But you’ll have to do it on your own.’

‘Oh, my. Really. I’m not sure… I rather hoped to get some support.’

‘Everyone says that but in then end you’ll be pleased you did it singlehanded.’

The man from the corner poked his head round the door. ‘Can I put the pipe down now?’

Des and the man from number 9 glared at him. ‘Shush,’ they echoed.

About TanGental

My name is Geoff Le Pard. Once I was a lawyer; now I am a writer. I've published several books: a four book series following Harry Spittle as he grows from hapless student to hapless partner in a London law firm; four others in different genres; a book of poetry; four anthologies of short fiction; and a memoir of my mother. I have several more in the pipeline. I have been blogging regularly since 2014, on topic as diverse as: poetry based on famous poems; memories from my life; my garden; my dog; a whole variety of short fiction; my attempts at baking and food; travel and the consequent disasters; theatre, film and book reviews; and the occasional thought piece. Mostly it is whatever takes my fancy. I avoid politics, mostly, and religion, always. I don't mean to upset anyone but if I do, well, sorry and I suggest you go elsewhere. These are my thoughts and no one else is to blame. If you want to nab anything I post, please acknowledge where it came from.
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34 Responses to Double Trouble #writephoto

  1. Sadje says:

    Very clever.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Stephen Tanham says:

    Clever, surreal and very funny!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Ritu says:

    Oh, Hus Geoffleship! Your imagination!
    Cleverly done, though 😊

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I see clever Lee and Hugh Moore have been hard at work again. Nice indeed!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. willowdot21 says:

    Oh! Too clever for me!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I couldn’t help myself – I had to laugh occasionally

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I would say genius, but it would only encourage you to do more. Okay It’s genius.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Funny Geoff. A good start to the year!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. tootlepedal says:

    The stereotyping tickled me the most.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. V.M.Sang says:

    Hilarious. I love it!

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Jemima Pett says:

    ‘You’ve been stereotyping’. Possibly the pun of the year. Oh, okay, this year, at any rate. Brilliant, as always 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  12. KL Caley says:

    ‘You’ve been stereotyping.’
    Hahaha – this did make me laugh, Geoff. Very clever. Thank you so much for a brilliant contribution to the #writephoto challenge. KL ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Pingback: #Writephoto Round-Up – Alley – New2Writing

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