Happy Xmas (Pullover)

Happy Xmas (Pullover) (with apologies to Happy Xmas (War is Over))


So Granny’s knitwear

What has she done?

Another bloody pullover

From wool that’s homespun.


So this is her knitwear

I hope she’s had some fun

The pattern’s the weirdest yet

Even for her grandson.


Why every Christmas

Does she knit this gear?

It’s never a good one.

I need a beer.


And so this is her knitwear

The pattern’s far too strong

Too rich for my poor eyes

Why can’t she just yarnbomb?


And so another pullover.

Why not black and white? (I’d love it)

Rather than yellow and red (pullovers)

Or even some socks or tights?







About TanGental

My name is Geoff Le Pard. Once I was a lawyer; now I am a writer. I've published several books: a four book series following Harry Spittle as he grows from hapless student to hapless partner in a London law firm; four others in different genres; a book of poetry; four anthologies of short fiction; and a memoir of my mother. I have several more in the pipeline. I have been blogging regularly since 2014, on topic as diverse as: poetry based on famous poems; memories from my life; my garden; my dog; a whole variety of short fiction; my attempts at baking and food; travel and the consequent disasters; theatre, film and book reviews; and the occasional thought piece. Mostly it is whatever takes my fancy. I avoid politics, mostly, and religion, always. I don't mean to upset anyone but if I do, well, sorry and I suggest you go elsewhere. These are my thoughts and no one else is to blame. If you want to nab anything I post, please acknowledge where it came from.
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38 Responses to Happy Xmas (Pullover)

  1. willowdot21 says:

    To the same tune.

    Oh! you’re so ungrateful
    But that was so fun
    Thank God for my grandsons
    Knitting not my idea of fun!

    Great poem Geoff love it!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Cathy Cade says:

    Could’ve been worse. Could’ve been red and green…
    Have a cool Yule!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. George says:

    You appear to have taken the needle, Geoff. Merry Christmas (knitwear)!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. trifflepudling says:

    War is never over on this planet!
    How about a Cricket Christmas jumper?
    Our grandmother always sent us lovely presents – I think I still have a lovely Fair Isle beret she made somewhere, too small now, of course.
    Hope preparations for everything are going well and the tree lights have not exploded, causing consternation with Dog and the cats!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Hanging on by a thread there, eh?

    Liked by 1 person

  6. noelleg44 says:

    Aw, I wanted to see this masterpiece!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Marsha says:

    I’d like photos! Your poem makes me laugh. Thank goodness I don’t crochet, right? If I ever learn, I’ll send you a pullover!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. This is already trending in Monrovia!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. arlingwoman says:

    None of my relatives knitted. It was all crochet, and that’s tougher to do ugly sweaters with. Of course there are the throws, but…


  10. L.K. Latham says:

    hahahaha The sad part: One day we all pull one of granny’s special out, wear it, and then wonder when we started to like it.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. tootlepedal says:

    A hum dinger. Now I’ve got an earworm.

    Liked by 2 people

  12. JT Twissel says:

    I think this poem would have given Lennon a giggle! He did have an obtuse side!

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Norah says:

    Happy holidays, Geoff!

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Haha! Ah, but now you have plenty of exhibits to start a sweater museum.
    Have a cool Yule, Geoff. Hugs.

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Mick Canning says:

    Love it, Geoff. The song, that is, I hasten to add. I’d forego the pullover.

    Liked by 1 person

  16. V.M.Sang says:

    Clever! I enjoyed that. Singing it in my head to your words.
    Merry Christmas to you and yours.

    Liked by 1 person

  17. Poor Gram! Happy Christmas to you!

    Liked by 1 person

  18. Jennie says:

    Love this, Geoff. I hope you had a lovely Christmas. Best to you in the new year ahead.

    Liked by 1 person

  19. Roberta Writes says:

    I’m a little late but it’s still funny. I hope you had a good Christmas.

    Liked by 1 person

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