The Economic Inevitability of Haystacks

This week’s #writephoto prompt is

The Economic Inevitability of Haystacks.

After retiring from the Scots Terriers (Motto: Always fear the dogs of war) Major Shirley Som-Mishtake RSVP, WTF Lefthanded and Bar took up farming Little Tittweaking’s Lower Bowel. In 2022, Shirley began ploughing the Midden fields prior to planting a fast growing crop of genetically modified Monet trees. This generated a lot of local approbation.

Monet trees gained their bad press, because of the impression given that, if they included in one’s diet they proved conclusively there is such a thing as a free lunch. In fact, they were originally an invasive French species that had begun to overwhelm the indigenous equivalents by repetitively filling the landscapes with idyllic haystacks dominating the more prosaic imagery of the earthy, less bucolic locally-sourced bales. Gradually, despite the exponential increase in tourism from visits by groups of mindfulness spotters and radical Pilates activists, local people were horrified. Lily Pond, an itinerant straw baler formed the Campaign for Real Landscapes and gradually the benefits of having a Monet tree shrank.

Recently though, there has been a shift in thinking. Clever people, accepting that occasionally when there’s been a complete balls up, we can all benefit from the necessary if naturally unwelcome support of a truss have revisited the much maligned Monet tree and understood that with the odd tweak it can create the environment for a ‘trickle down’ event. This hypothesises that by sapping the strength of the host plant the surrounding land will all become fertile and fecund.

Shirley is a new adherent to this philosophy. He went to Harrow and has always enjoyed the delicious sense of having his balls gripped by something wild eyed and blond. Sadly, most experts believe that the result will be yet more jolly impressions of a mythologised agricultural past and eventually we will all find ourselves living in sodding haystacks.

About TanGental

My name is Geoff Le Pard. Once I was a lawyer; now I am a writer. I've published several books: a four book series following Harry Spittle as he grows from hapless student to hapless partner in a London law firm; four others in different genres; a book of poetry; four anthologies of short fiction; and a memoir of my mother. I have several more in the pipeline. I have been blogging regularly since 2014, on topic as diverse as: poetry based on famous poems; memories from my life; my garden; my dog; a whole variety of short fiction; my attempts at baking and food; travel and the consequent disasters; theatre, film and book reviews; and the occasional thought piece. Mostly it is whatever takes my fancy. I avoid politics, mostly, and religion, always. I don't mean to upset anyone but if I do, well, sorry and I suggest you go elsewhere. These are my thoughts and no one else is to blame. If you want to nab anything I post, please acknowledge where it came from.
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13 Responses to The Economic Inevitability of Haystacks

  1. I love this very apt and timely tale. I seem to recall it was Sean Connery who first introduced me to the good Major!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Gotta love the Major’s honors.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. tootlepedal says:

    I couldn’t agree more about the overproduction of Monet haystacks. There are far too0 many of them still about.

    I read this post twice and was glad that I did so. There was a lot in it that slipped by on first reading.

    Like

  4. JT Twissel says:

    You gotta have idyllic looking haystacks!

    Liked by 1 person

    • TanGental says:

      That would be nice. This short piece may confuse as its a political allegory at its heart, very much aimed at we Brits so it may not make much sense. But I console myself that many of my posts fail the sense test and people still come back
      .

      Like

  5. “Amazing”, said the Gruffalo – wink!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Pingback: #Writephoto Round-Up – Farming – New2Writing

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