Sigh And The World Sighs With You #writephoto

This week’s #writephoto prompt is

‘Phil? Is that you?’ Helen Back adjusted her thick spectacles and squinted at the little hut.

Slowly the figure Helen had seen began to unfurl. And kept unfurling until he loomed over the small slight female. ‘Who’s that?’ The voice spoke of a forty a day habit, a gravelly diet and a gritty outlook.

‘Me, Phil. Helen. Helen Back.’

A morose chuckle rumbled across the distance between them. ‘I’ve been there too.’

Helen sniggered which set off a tsunami of waves in her jowls. ‘You always said that, didn’t you?’

‘True though.’ A large knobbly hand carved a semi circle taking in the wooden steps and rickety bridge. ‘Not exactly where I expected to end up.’

Helen noticed the small trickle of tears. ‘Oh my dear. When I last saw you, you were in the last three for the Bridge of Sighs.’

Phil nodded. ‘I got it too. Mind you,’ the gloom seemed to deepen, ‘they were just trying to virtue signal.’

‘Really?’

‘Oh yes. Those Cambridge colleges are all about being on trend. Supporting elemental minorities. They thought having a mountain troll as bridge security would polish their credentials, something they could boast about. They didn’t really understand what they were getting.’

‘Oh dear. Did you let anyone cross?’

‘Nope. After I tossed a couple of dons and a professor of applied nonsense over the parapet they asked me what I was doing. Said I hadn’t explained my philosophy. I mean, Hells, it’s in my name. Phil E Buster. I stop things happening. They had this cutesy Disney idea I’d ask a couple of questions, let off a bellow and stand back like in some toothsome quiz master. Bloody patronising.’

‘You resigned?’

‘Not a chance. Bloody cool gig. Came with its own hut and a patch of gravel all to myself. No, they had me fired?’

‘Sacked?’

‘No.. they doped me, put me in a kiln and fired me. Look.’ Phil lifted his raggedy tunic to show off his abs. ‘I’m no longer ripped, I’m crenellated.’

Helen met his sad eyes. ‘So how did you end up here?’

‘They sold me to a local farmer. He wanted someone to keep down the number of ramblers. I can’t move much I used to, but I can intimidate.’ He pulled a face and a piece of cheek cracked and fell to the floor.

Helen nodded. ‘That’s appalling.’

‘Oh it could be worse.’

‘Could it?’

‘Not really. But as my old mum used to say, “Mustn’t crumble.”’

About TanGental

My name is Geoff Le Pard. Once I was a lawyer; now I am a writer. I've published several books: a four book series following Harry Spittle as he grows from hapless student to hapless partner in a London law firm; four others in different genres; a book of poetry; four anthologies of short fiction; and a memoir of my mother. I have several more in the pipeline. I have been blogging regularly since 2014, on topic as diverse as: poetry based on famous poems; memories from my life; my garden; my dog; a whole variety of short fiction; my attempts at baking and food; travel and the consequent disasters; theatre, film and book reviews; and the occasional thought piece. Mostly it is whatever takes my fancy. I avoid politics, mostly, and religion, always. I don't mean to upset anyone but if I do, well, sorry and I suggest you go elsewhere. These are my thoughts and no one else is to blame. If you want to nab anything I post, please acknowledge where it came from.
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13 Responses to Sigh And The World Sighs With You #writephoto

  1. Oh, love it Geoff!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Dear me, you do make me laugh out loud!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Sadje says:

    Haha! Poor guy.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Brilliant! I can foresee a face off pretty soon!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. willowdot21 says:

    Warnings Geoff those endings need warnings!!!!
    💜🙂🙂😂😂😂😂

    Liked by 1 person

  6. JT Twissel says:

    There’s more than one way to get fired, hey?

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Pingback: #Writephoto Round-Up – Stairway – New2Writing

  8. Another fun romp Geoff.

    Liked by 1 person

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