Prompted by Chel Owens’ Terrible Poetry
Nursery Rhymes For A Post Pandemic Utopia
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
When a man with appal-
-ing taste in novelty knitwear
Pushed him off and told him
To sit on his own wall.
*
Little Miss Muffet
Sat on a spider.
She said, ‘Tuffet-chic is so last century.’
The spider declined to comment.
*
Jack and Jill
Went up the hill.
Everyone said,
‘It’ll be downhill from here.’
*
Little Jack Horner
Sat in the corner.
Plotting…
*
Jack Spratt would eat no fat,
His wife said, ‘You’re a prat, Jack.’
*
Mary, Mary
Wasn’t that contrary.
She just liked saying her name twice.
Like Bond, James Bond.
*
The Grand Ol’ Duke of York
Is so called because he spends several grand
Buying silence.
*
Ring a ring A Roses
To place your next order
For that important person
Who you’ve pissed off.
*
London Bridge is falling down
Due to sheer weight of traffic.
*
Georgie Porgie
Is unlikely to get bail this time.
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About TanGental
My name is Geoff Le Pard. Once I was a lawyer; now I am a writer. I've published several books: a four book series following Harry Spittle as he grows from hapless student to hapless partner in a London law firm; four others in different genres; a book of poetry; four anthologies of short fiction; and a memoir of my mother. I have several more in the pipeline.
I have been blogging regularly since 2014, on topic as diverse as: poetry based on famous poems; memories from my life; my garden; my dog; a whole variety of short fiction; my attempts at baking and food; travel and the consequent disasters; theatre, film and book reviews; and the occasional thought piece. Mostly it is whatever takes my fancy.
I avoid politics, mostly, and religion, always. I don't mean to upset anyone but if I do, well, sorry and I suggest you go elsewhere.
These are my thoughts and no one else is to blame. If you want to nab anything I post, please acknowledge where it came from.
TanGental 
Haha! These are awesome poems.
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Thank you!!
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You’re welcome
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Lol Geoff!
The Grand Ol’ Duke of York
Is so called because he spends several grand
Buying silence.
Brilliant 💜💜
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All very nifty, Geoff! xx
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I like nifty. I’ll stick with Nifty
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🤣🤣🤣
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I’m not sure one’s grandchildren will appreciate the new versions…
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Diddle diddle dumpling
My fat pet
Sing a song of sixpence
that’s all you’re going to get!
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Well worth waiting for it was too!
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Ha ha ha. I love the updated versions. Geoff. So funny.
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god that you enjoyed
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Ha Ha! Especially like that last one.
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glad you enjoyed
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Nice job, Geoff. These are worthy entrants.
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I hope I’ve plumbed the depths here
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Plumbed is a very good choice of words.
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Haha!
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You got several laughs out of me with these. Especially the poor spider who declined to comment.
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I do feel for spiders; they often get a bad rap
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Nice- The Duke of York one had a genuine LOL. Might I add a comment on the same topic? The gland old Duke of York / Is in financial troubles deep / When it comes to hush hush talk / Silence sure don’t come cheap.
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Nicely done! And thanks for the kind comnents
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Haha, very well done, Geoff.
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I got rather carried away…
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Pingback: WINNER of the Terrible Poetry Contest 4/28/2022
I think you went a little overboard …but it worked! Congratulations, Geoff!
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I know you think I’m too understated for my own good…
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‘Modest’ and ‘humble’ are adjectives that often come to mind as well.
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Naturally…
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Pingback: WINNER of the Terrible Poetry Contest 5/19/2022