Nursery Rhymes for the Post Pandemic Utopia #poems #poetry

Prompted by Chel Owens’ Terrible Poetry

Nursery Rhymes For A Post Pandemic Utopia

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall

When a man with appal-

-ing taste in novelty knitwear

Pushed him off and told him

To sit on his own wall.


Little Miss Muffet

Sat on a spider.

She said, ‘Tuffet-chic is so last century.’

The spider declined to comment.


Jack and Jill

Went up the hill.

Everyone said,

‘It’ll be downhill from here.’


Little Jack Horner

Sat in the corner.



Jack Spratt would eat no fat,

His wife said, ‘You’re a prat, Jack.’


Mary, Mary

Wasn’t that contrary.

She just liked saying her name twice.

Like Bond, James Bond.


The Grand Ol’ Duke of York

Is so called because he spends several grand

Buying silence.


Ring a ring A Roses

To place your next order

For that important person

Who you’ve pissed off.


London Bridge is falling down

Due to sheer weight of traffic.


Georgie Porgie

Is unlikely to get bail this time.

About TanGental

My name is Geoff Le Pard. Once I was a lawyer; now I am a writer. I've published several books: a four book series following Harry Spittle as he grows from hapless student to hapless partner in a London law firm; four others in different genres; a book of poetry; four anthologies of short fiction; and a memoir of my mother. I have several more in the pipeline. I have been blogging regularly since 2014, on topic as diverse as: poetry based on famous poems; memories from my life; my garden; my dog; a whole variety of short fiction; my attempts at baking and food; travel and the consequent disasters; theatre, film and book reviews; and the occasional thought piece. Mostly it is whatever takes my fancy. I avoid politics, mostly, and religion, always. I don't mean to upset anyone but if I do, well, sorry and I suggest you go elsewhere. These are my thoughts and no one else is to blame. If you want to nab anything I post, please acknowledge where it came from.
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31 Responses to Nursery Rhymes for the Post Pandemic Utopia #poems #poetry

  1. Sadje says:

    Haha! These are awesome poems.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. willowdot21 says:

    Lol Geoff!
    The Grand Ol’ Duke of York
    Is so called because he spends several grand
    Buying silence.
    Brilliant 💜💜


  3. joylennick says:

    All very nifty, Geoff! xx

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Ritu says:


    Liked by 1 person

  5. Diddle diddle dumpling
    My fat pet
    Sing a song of sixpence
    that’s all you’re going to get!

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Ha ha ha. I love the updated versions. Geoff. So funny.


  7. JT Twissel says:

    Ha Ha! Especially like that last one.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Nice job, Geoff. These are worthy entrants.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Marsha says:

    You got several laughs out of me with these. Especially the poor spider who declined to comment.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. obbverse says:

    Nice- The Duke of York one had a genuine LOL. Might I add a comment on the same topic? The gland old Duke of York / Is in financial troubles deep / When it comes to hush hush talk / Silence sure don’t come cheap.


  11. Haha, very well done, Geoff.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Pingback: WINNER of the Terrible Poetry Contest 4/28/2022

  13. Chel Owens says:

    I think you went a little overboard …but it worked! Congratulations, Geoff!

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Pingback: WINNER of the Terrible Poetry Contest 5/19/2022

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