Nursery Rhymes for the Post Pandemic Utopia #poems #poetry

Prompted by Chel Owens’ Terrible Poetry

Nursery Rhymes For A Post Pandemic Utopia

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall

When a man with appal-

-ing taste in novelty knitwear

Pushed him off and told him

To sit on his own wall.

*

Little Miss Muffet

Sat on a spider.

She said, ‘Tuffet-chic is so last century.’

The spider declined to comment.

*

Jack and Jill

Went up the hill.

Everyone said,

‘It’ll be downhill from here.’

*

Little Jack Horner

Sat in the corner.

Plotting…

*

Jack Spratt would eat no fat,

His wife said, ‘You’re a prat, Jack.’

*

Mary, Mary

Wasn’t that contrary.

She just liked saying her name twice.

Like Bond, James Bond.

*

The Grand Ol’ Duke of York

Is so called because he spends several grand

Buying silence.

*

Ring a ring A Roses

To place your next order

For that important person

Who you’ve pissed off.

*

London Bridge is falling down

Due to sheer weight of traffic.

*

Georgie Porgie

Is unlikely to get bail this time.

About TanGental

My name is Geoff Le Pard. Once I was a lawyer; now I am a writer. I've published several books: a four book series following Harry Spittle as he grows from hapless student to hapless partner in a London law firm; four others in different genres; a book of poetry; four anthologies of short fiction; and a memoir of my mother. I have several more in the pipeline. I have been blogging regularly since 2014, on topic as diverse as: poetry based on famous poems; memories from my life; my garden; my dog; a whole variety of short fiction; my attempts at baking and food; travel and the consequent disasters; theatre, film and book reviews; and the occasional thought piece. Mostly it is whatever takes my fancy. I avoid politics, mostly, and religion, always. I don't mean to upset anyone but if I do, well, sorry and I suggest you go elsewhere. These are my thoughts and no one else is to blame. If you want to nab anything I post, please acknowledge where it came from.
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31 Responses to Nursery Rhymes for the Post Pandemic Utopia #poems #poetry

  1. Sadje says:

    Haha! These are awesome poems.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. willowdot21 says:

    Lol Geoff!
    The Grand Ol’ Duke of York
    Is so called because he spends several grand
    Buying silence.
    Brilliant 💜💜

    Like

  3. joylennick says:

    All very nifty, Geoff! xx

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Ritu says:

    🤣🤣🤣

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Diddle diddle dumpling
    My fat pet
    Sing a song of sixpence
    that’s all you’re going to get!

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Ha ha ha. I love the updated versions. Geoff. So funny.

    Like

  7. JT Twissel says:

    Ha Ha! Especially like that last one.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Nice job, Geoff. These are worthy entrants.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Marsha says:

    You got several laughs out of me with these. Especially the poor spider who declined to comment.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. obbverse says:

    Nice- The Duke of York one had a genuine LOL. Might I add a comment on the same topic? The gland old Duke of York / Is in financial troubles deep / When it comes to hush hush talk / Silence sure don’t come cheap.

    Like

  11. Haha, very well done, Geoff.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Pingback: WINNER of the Terrible Poetry Contest 4/28/2022

  13. Chel Owens says:

    I think you went a little overboard …but it worked! Congratulations, Geoff!

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Pingback: WINNER of the Terrible Poetry Contest 5/19/2022

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