‘Hello, are you…?’ Jemima Preston took a step back. ‘Are you…?’
The bald, smiling man nodded, ‘William. You were expecting me?’
‘Not exactly.’ Jemima felt her knees flex and she stumbled forward. As he caught her, she apologised.
‘No sweat. Happens all the time. Involuntary curtsy. Can’t be helped. They say it’s hardwired. So,’ he picked up the bucket, ‘where so I start?’
‘Sorry?’
‘You’re expecting a cleaner?’
‘Yes…’
‘Then shall we?’
‘But you’re, you know,’ she glanced at her neighbour’s window, ‘royal.’ She added with a giggle, glancing at his head. ‘The heir.’
‘I wish I could agree. Kate wanted me to use this Gubbins Dad makes as a follicle restorative from peonies and ground commoners but smells like Harry after a kebab binge. Anyhoo, what’s first?’
Jemima didn’t know what to do so showed him through to the kitchen. ‘Maybe the washing up?’
William looked disappointed. ‘No blocked drains? Kiddies’ vomit?’ He looked serious. ‘Thing is granny’s getting a bit cranky… you know the sort of thing: “in my day we understood what the peeps were going through, the Blitz, blah blah”, so Katie-poos said we should all do a sort of Bob a Job thingummy, get down with the masses. One is a bit lacking when it comes to u-bends and boiling hankies. If there’s something really horrible, let me at it.’ He held up his pink-gloved hands.
‘I don’t know. It really doesn’t seem right, giving menial work to one of you.’
‘No, really.’
‘You sure?’
‘Course.’
‘Ok. If you go through there, you’ll find four sets of sick-stained sheets and two boots covered in dog-dirt.’
‘Marvellous.’ To Jemima’s surprise, William spun on his heel and headed for the front door.
She said, ‘Aren’t you going to sort it out?’
He nodded. ‘I’ll have my people here in a jiffy.’
TanGental 
This is surely blasphemy
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Or is it seditious… I’m never sure. Probably be classed as Kate speech…
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That’s royalty for you. Haha
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Quite. I’ve often thought I’d be a republican and then I think of some of the numpties who might be our President and think it’s probably best to stick to a gormless royal…
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I think it’s a lose-lose situation.
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I wish I had my people to call on in such situations. 😅
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They’re never around when you need them
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Oh, I know. I know. 😁
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Typical 💜💜💜🤞
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I’ve read this before, haven’t I?
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A version, yes. Rewritten for a competition… no, it got nowhere!
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Love this. Is it a reblog Geoff? It seems familiar.
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I took a piece I wrote fir a competition and expanded it. Well remembered!!
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Yay!
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Ah, royalty. I actually believe William might stoop to cleaning, but Harry and Megan? Not in a lifetime for those two spoiled idiots.
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They certainly have people…
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Love the title, as I’m sure does William!
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He lives in hope I’m sure
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He’ll clean up one day!
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It’s a pretty unappealing gig, though. So much bling and ermine and a trite speech at crimbo. Best seats at the sport though so there’s an upside…
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I believe we call that “passing the buck” over here!
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Is that short for ‘pass the Buckingham?’
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Truman had a saying “the buck stops here,” meaning he was the one to pay if anything went wrong.
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Ah ha! Nothing to do with the palace then. The only Truman quote I know is about heat and kitchens…
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