In these troubled times, I asked the house philosopher to pass on some of his accumulated wisdom and learnings…
1. If you leave it out it will get eaten.
2. Philosophising counts for little if there’s no chicken left.
3. If humans adopted a dog’s approach to greeting another, by checking out each other’s arses, they’d know, early on, which ones are completely up themselves.
4. If you had paws and a tail that wagged uncontrollably, you’d not develop a gambling addiction either.
5. Tap water is for sissies.
6. Live in the now: that ball won’t chase itself.
7. A lot of international conflict could be avoided if the UN installed a lot more lampposts and encouraged people to mark their territory.
8. Will someone please explain the point of cats?
9. On the eighth day, God created the lap.
10. Governments come and go, but a dog’s fart lingers.
Dog, and his often confused but keen-to-learn walking companion, wish everyone some peace and goodwill.