Holiday Temptations

A blogging friend (Anabel who posts here) is off to Lewis in the Hebrides for a holiday later this year. I holidayed there with the Textiliste back in 2015 and we had a splendid time of it. I even waxed ridiculously lyrical in this post…

However what surprised me were some of the poems I wrote. This one I’d totally forgotten about, in a sort of sonnet form. It has a sort of universal appeal as a warning against giving into those urges to take a gift home as a memento of that holiday. How many times have I succumbed to that fallacy?


In gift shops around the world, the treasures there are legion:

Name tags, mugs, flags unfurled, they all define the region.

Many things you’re sure to find, when tourists begin to roam,

With cash in hand and half a mind, to buy something to take home. 

Like, let’s say, the local booze, which tastes so good, and’s duty-free

It would be churlish to refuse, to take a bottle home, or three.

There will be somewhere, on a rack, in sets of square-shaped plastic

Examples of local musak, that sun-drenched ears believe fantastic.

The Hebrides conforms to type, like France, Sri Lanka, everywhere

A smiley face, melodic tripe that once back home brings on despair.

Hereabouts it’s the bloody pipes, accompanied by a tweed ensemble

Which frankly gives me the gripes, and nothing tuneful it resembles.

It’s not that I bear any grudge to this nation through some song

But if I’d been a better judge, I’d not’ve bought that tartan thong.

About TanGental

My name is Geoff Le Pard. Once I was a lawyer; now I am a writer. I've published several books: a four book series following Harry Spittle as he grows from hapless student to hapless partner in a London law firm; four others in different genres; a book of poetry; four anthologies of short fiction; and a memoir of my mother. I have several more in the pipeline. I have been blogging regularly since 2014, on topic as diverse as: poetry based on famous poems; memories from my life; my garden; my dog; a whole variety of short fiction; my attempts at baking and food; travel and the consequent disasters; theatre, film and book reviews; and the occasional thought piece. Mostly it is whatever takes my fancy. I avoid politics, mostly, and religion, always. I don't mean to upset anyone but if I do, well, sorry and I suggest you go elsewhere. These are my thoughts and no one else is to blame. If you want to nab anything I post, please acknowledge where it came from.
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38 Responses to Holiday Temptations

  1. Darlene says:

    Clever and very funny!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. joylennick says:

    Tee hee.and what a graphic image!! Cheers.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Photographic evidence required Geoff. We lived on Benbecula for two years and I spent the time alternating six weeks on St Kilda, twelve weeks in Ballivanich. A lovely time, and I’m looking at my Hebridean crofter with her basket of peats now! (the peats are real)

    Liked by 1 person

  4. KL Caley says:

    Hehe, brilliant. 👏 We’ve booked a week in Skye in August and are both really looking forward to exploring more of this part of the world. KL ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

  5. So crazy to see this today – we are thinking about a trip to the Outer Hebrides – is this the place you mean? I’m going to pop over and read more. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  6. noelleg44 says:

    🙂 🙂 Sounds like some of our vacations, but I’ve never waxed poetic about them!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Too funny, Geoff.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Ooh, a mention, thanks! Though I’m fairly sure i’m not going to Lewes.

    Liked by 2 people

  9. Love it! Very clever. How’s the thong standing up to the rigours of life?

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Fantastic! xx Michael 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  11. arlingwoman says:

    Ah, these are places I want to visit–those beaches!! Beautiful starkness, as if you could fly off the earth into the sky. I was in Skye years ago and liked it (but not the sleet in August). I packed well, though, so I wasn’t chilled. Or maybe that was the Talisker distillery…

    Liked by 1 person

  12. willowdot21 says:

    Lol never mind we all secumb 💜

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Pingback: Holiday Temptations – Nelsapy

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