A blogging friend (Anabel who posts here) is off to Lewis in the Hebrides for a holiday later this year. I holidayed there with the Textiliste back in 2015 and we had a splendid time of it. I even waxed ridiculously lyrical in this post…
However what surprised me were some of the poems I wrote. This one I’d totally forgotten about, in a sort of sonnet form. It has a sort of universal appeal as a warning against giving into those urges to take a gift home as a memento of that holiday. How many times have I succumbed to that fallacy?
TAT
In gift shops around the world, the treasures there are legion:
Name tags, mugs, flags unfurled, they all define the region.
Many things you’re sure to find, when tourists begin to roam,
With cash in hand and half a mind, to buy something to take home.
Like, let’s say, the local booze, which tastes so good, and’s duty-free
It would be churlish to refuse, to take a bottle home, or three.
There will be somewhere, on a rack, in sets of square-shaped plastic
Examples of local musak, that sun-drenched ears believe fantastic.
The Hebrides conforms to type, like France, Sri Lanka, everywhere
A smiley face, melodic tripe that once back home brings on despair.
Hereabouts it’s the bloody pipes, accompanied by a tweed ensemble
Which frankly gives me the gripes, and nothing tuneful it resembles.
It’s not that I bear any grudge to this nation through some song
But if I’d been a better judge, I’d not’ve bought that tartan thong.
TanGental 
Clever and very funny!
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It still pains me to think what I’ve wasted my money on. Second only to bribing children…
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Hold on. In Australia, a thong is worn on a foot. I take it the one you describe is not of that type?
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Sadly not. It is of the testicular supporting sort. My son didn’t see the joke. It was at one point converted into a novelty plant pot holder..
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Tee hee.and what a graphic image!! Cheers.
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Have you ever indulged in something appalling under the affluence of holidaying excess Joy?
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Photographic evidence required Geoff. We lived on Benbecula for two years and I spent the time alternating six weeks on St Kilda, twelve weeks in Ballivanich. A lovely time, and I’m looking at my Hebridean crofter with her basket of peats now! (the peats are real)
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It’s all been drunk, fed to the pets or used as novelty coasters. And no I do not want you to post about their bloody awful pipes… there’s a reason they’re used for drains…
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You drank the thong?!!!!! I take it you don’t follow my Peter’s Pondering Pipes then!
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I find it’s time to degrease the gerbil whenever they appear.
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I’ve never heard it called that before!
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Ah my euphemisms are enormous
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Braggart!
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*blushes…
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Hehe, brilliant. 👏 We’ve booked a week in Skye in August and are both really looking forward to exploring more of this part of the world. KL ❤️
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Marsha’s wqw theme this week is travel. I’m sure she’d love this. ❤️
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Ah ha. I’d not noticed.
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It is fab. If you like good food look out (and book ahead) for thr three chimneys in Colbost. We first went in 1986 or so when it first opened and my daughter went last year and raved. https://www.threechimneys.co.uk/ Not sure what age your family is though. And Glen Sligachan is stunning set amongst the Cullins https://www.countryfile.com/go-outdoors/walks/walk-glen-sligachan-isle-of-skye/
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Oh wow! Fab tips. Thanks Geoff. KL ❤
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🙂
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So crazy to see this today – we are thinking about a trip to the Outer Hebrides – is this the place you mean? I’m going to pop over and read more. 🙂
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Yes. Harris is the most northerly followed by Lewis and Uist North and South. Its tremendous, bleak, never dark in June and with almost perfect roads. Don’t go for the food. We loved it.
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These are good to know – but we’ll pack some snacks – thanks!
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🙂 🙂 Sounds like some of our vacations, but I’ve never waxed poetic about them!
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Ah that urge to ode!! I cannot deny its power…
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Too funny, Geoff.
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Thanks John. I hope you’ve never succumbed
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Ooh, a mention, thanks! Though I’m fairly sure i’m not going to Lewes.
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Lewes Lewis.. it’s all in the name!!
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Love it! Very clever. How’s the thong standing up to the rigours of life?
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It is now a cactus holder…
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What are the top five most regretted purchases from your journeying around Britain?
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Reblogged this on NEW BLOG HERE >> https:/BOOKS.ESLARN-NET.DE.
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Fantastic! xx Michael 😉
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Ah, these are places I want to visit–those beaches!! Beautiful starkness, as if you could fly off the earth into the sky. I was in Skye years ago and liked it (but not the sleet in August). I packed well, though, so I wasn’t chilled. Or maybe that was the Talisker distillery…
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Maybe that’s the answer- numb the pain with grain…
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Lol never mind we all secumb 💜
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