Parenting: Hiding In Plain Sight

I’m a parent of two married adults. It wasn’t always this hard.

These days they don’t need changing, and their need for change has grown exponentially.

But one thing remains constant. It’s a constant learning process on both sides. If I look back and think of the things I didn’t know when this whole thing began it might look like this (this is a dad’s perspective, mostly)…

1.Β (That first terrifying day) the first labour doesn’t necessarily go on for hours so be prepared to become a dad in the cab.

2. (During the first six months) do not place tea/coffee/other beverage near the changing mat and expect the jet of pee to miss it (only applies to boys in my experience).

3. (The first three years) you will eat your own body weight in second hand, already chewed food.

4. (Five years at least) small children cannot count so the terrible twos do not stop immediately they turn three.

5. (Ten years and counting) negotiating skills are in-built and they have yet to isolate and control that gene.

6. (Could be any time but one hopes in the first few years) it will be a child psychologist who gives your child their first toy gun.

7. (On going) parenting becomes progressively harder as children gain first freedom of movement, then freedom of expression. What starts out as power and responsibility gradually morphs into responsibility and no power. I believe that at an indeterminate point in the future the role will be reversed and they become my parents; I fear this might be accompanied by copious drool and a damp patch on my favourite chair.

8. (On many many occasions, especially when hosting their parties at home) everything else in life can be ended; they have yet to do sale-or-return children.

9. (For ever) there is only one greater pleasure than being able to embarrass your children simply by entering a room…

10. … and that is having children: the adjective that best describes the sheer bloody loveliness of being a dad (or mum) has yet to be devised.

About TanGental

My name is Geoff Le Pard. Once I was a lawyer; now I am a writer. I've published several books: a four book series following Harry Spittle as he grows from hapless student to hapless partner in a London law firm; four others in different genres; a book of poetry; four anthologies of short fiction; and a memoir of my mother. I have several more in the pipeline. I have been blogging regularly since 2014, on topic as diverse as: poetry based on famous poems; memories from my life; my garden; my dog; a whole variety of short fiction; my attempts at baking and food; travel and the consequent disasters; theatre, film and book reviews; and the occasional thought piece. Mostly it is whatever takes my fancy. I avoid politics, mostly, and religion, always. I don't mean to upset anyone but if I do, well, sorry and I suggest you go elsewhere. These are my thoughts and no one else is to blame. If you want to nab anything I post, please acknowledge where it came from.
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35 Responses to Parenting: Hiding In Plain Sight

  1. willowdot21 says:

    So true Geoff….wait until bthe grandchildren arrive then you can have total payback πŸ˜‰πŸ˜‰πŸ˜‰πŸ˜‰

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Darlene says:

    They are always our children. I once said to my mom when I must have been in my 40s, “When do you stop worrying about your kids?” She replied, “Never. I still worry about you.”

    Liked by 2 people

    • TanGental says:

      Yep. My mum was the same and it’s true. It’s an addiction

      Liked by 1 person

    • V.M.Sang says:

      Absolutely true. My daughter now understands that. She said she still doesn’t like her eldest son driving–and he’s 28!
      One of the worst inventions, in my opinion, is the mobile phone. In the old days, when you rang them and they didn’t answer, you thought ‘Oh, they must be out. I’ll try again tomorrow.’ Now, when they don’t answer, you think ‘They must have their mobile with them. What’s wrong?’ And all kinds of terrible things cross your mind.

      Liked by 2 people

  3. Sadje says:

    It has so many blessings that we usually ignore the down side.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. athensletters@gmail.com says:

    Pparenting is a combination of threats and bribery, with a dose of emotional guilt thrown in 🀣

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Ritu says:

    Parenting never ends. I’m nearing 50 and I still rely on my parents!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. noelleg44 says:

    Absolutely. I’m enjoying it all over again with the grandkids, but the parenting doesn’t stop when they are adults – still lots of advice, solicited and not, hand-holding, and a shoulder to cry on.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Rowena says:

    I really loved this Geoff and it’s been something ‘ve been thinking a lot about lately as ours are about to turn 18 and 16. I’ve been going through so, so many photos and it’s been very moving, funny, and so touching to relive the old memories again. Do you miss having your children at home and struggle with being an empty nester?
    I don’t think you’ve seen this post about my daughter’s rambunctious behavior at my aunt’s book launch at Sydney’s Gleebooks. She’s a very well respected professor: https://beyondtheflow.wordpress.com/2022/01/31/book-launch-of-murdering-stepmothers-the-case-of-the-rambunctious-child/?wref=tp
    I had to crop much of my out of the photo of him trying to control the unruly Miss, as he asked me not to post his photo online. Hope you’ve all going well there. All good here.
    Best wishes,
    Rowena

    Liked by 1 person

    • TanGental says:

      I’m used to it now. It was hard at thr start. Funnily enough the eldest and his new wife may be moving back in shortly as they’re planning on buying a wreck and doing it up but it may be pretty unliveable for a while

      Like

  8. And it goes by so quickly.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. JT Twissel says:

    Then those little lovelies decide that after you turned fifty you became senile!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Erika says:

    This is such a sweet and humorous way to look back at our little ones. Since my three kids are adults too, I can so relate to quite a few points you mentioned here, Geoff!

    Liked by 1 person

  11. petespringerauthor says:

    My 29-year-old son is newly engaged. I don’t ask for much, but I do hope to live long enough to see his children grow up to be teenagers and perceive him as one of the most embarrassing things on the face of the Earth.🀣

    Liked by 3 people

  12. Jennie says:

    Delightful, Geoff! You are spot on.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Pingback: Reblog: Parenting: Hiding In Plain Sight – Sara Gamachu

  14. Its a learning process

    Liked by 1 person

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