I have been the subject of a fiddle,
Seduced by the central aisle in Lidl.
I went to buy some chocolate buttons
But before I knew it I’d stumbled up on:
An ebony statue of Liz and Phil;
An ancient nib, with ink and quill;
An ostrich egg from Tanzania;
A metal barrel full of beer;
Three Grace’s made from recycled plastic;
A strange device for dispensing mastic;
An antique potty with double handles;
A candelabra, missing its candles.
As I wheeled my trolley to my car
I knew my purchases looked bizarre,
But I know in truth I have not messed up:
I now have presents for all at Christmas.