News yesterday told us of the battle between the musical behemoths of Adele, Ed Sheehan and Coldplay, all of whom want to corner the vinyl printing market for their new albums in time for the Christmas spendfest.
Now forgive for thinking that vinyl had long ago become the Betamax of home music delivery systems even though, I, like a number of others retained the albums and singles I bought as a youngster, before being seduced away to tapes and then dvds. I must own to missing the joys of the album art and the inclusion of the lyrics that often accompanied the sleeve of the album but one had to keep with the times.
Yes, here we are, at the outset of a rewriting of history. The old is becoming the new new.
And it makes me wonder what else will return to enliven our lives.
Will snickers return to its marathon roots.
Will toilet paper be rewaxed?
Will the flies on jeans go back to buttons (again)?
I rather hope not, well maybe the egregious rebranding can go.
But there are some things that we might save before they become the vinyl of their day.
Here’s a few of mine:
At least one day a week gentlemen should wear a tie in its customary position, around the neck rather than hastily repurposed as a belt.
The postage stamp
The cheque
And eventually cash…
And related to the last, a physical representation of where I bank, somewhere on a high street near me
The changeable tire on my car rather than something that forces me to a garage within a gnat’s long jump of my puncture
Phone calls to utilities that are answered without having to listen to some moronic Spotify playlist or play keypad bingo in order to speak to something vaguely sentient (competence was removed as a prerequisite of employment in the 1950s according to my mother)
I’m sure there are many more that will occur to me when I’ve posted this. How about you? What do you fear will go, for no benefit other than someone else’s commercial imperative or which reduces something intangible but good in our lives?
PS writing this drove me to check my dusty old albums. I should know better as it reminds me that my first purchase rather betrays my rock n roll credentials. Back to Front by Gilbert O’Sullivan. What can I say? I was raised by tone deaf aliens.
TanGental 
I’ve long extolled the virtues of vinyl over CD. It has a warmer, more natural sound with none of the annoying sibilance.
That said, I do still call Snickers, “Marathons”, use postage stamps and cash on occasion, and I do still get paid by cheque for my contributions to Lakeland Walker magazine. (Thankfully, they don’t insist on all copy being written in quill on parchment and delivered by carrier pigeon).
I wouldn’t mourn never having to wear a tie again, however.
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Physical hugs instead of xo on a computer screen.
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I did hear that Snickers were going to revert to Marathon bars, and weights to revert to pounds and ounces. Personally I’d like to see a come back of the Amazin Raisin bar.
Our traditions are going down the WC because of PC.
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Gilbert O’Sullivan is not such a bad choice. Alone Again Naturally was one of the better songs. I finally sold all my Vinyl records. Lots of memories but alas no turntable. BTW I’ve noticed some retailers now accepting cash with proper identification.
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Perhaps civil servants could again be civil and serve the public; and help desks learn the meaning of help. First singles – (Dance with the) Guitar Man, Duane Eddy, and Let’s Dance, Chris Montez. Total cost 13/4d.
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Uck. We need to wipe all evidence of waxed TP from all form of memory to prevent the woke folks from latching onto it because it would fit with their other ideas.
They can do whatever with other candy bars but the must leave butter finger bars Un touched. They are sacred.
We could benefit from a two year style of replacing ties with lace doilies just to recall why we stopped them in the first place. I promise to abandon the planet if t shirts with breast pockets are lost and I hope the stupid fad of replacing car keys with push buttons dies a slow and painful death.
For that matter can we offer things that should be canceled? I want combined car keys with the smart chip fobs to die also.
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I would say Drive In movies but during the pandemic they made a return (at least here in California) so you never know.
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The worm turns (again)
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I am afraid that AI could take over and we might only be talking to robots and be served by robots when in a restaurant or other institutions.
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It’s when the robot offers to do a small procedure on some vital part of my anatomy that I’ll be wishing for the good old days.
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Gosh, that is a good point. I definitely feel the same.
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Kids these days are even going to cassettes as the ultimate in hipness. It’s something about throwbacks, or not having any sort of concrete foundation or rules in their upbringing coupled with loss of ownership in anything…
I’ll go drink my cod liver oil, take an aspirin, and read a physical book now.
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Now cod liver oil I can easily never taste again. Urgh.
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Will toilet paper be rewaxed?
Nooooooo!
Will the flies on jeans go back to buttons (again)
They already have .
The letter, especially the airmail letter.
Woolworths,
The telephone box that is a telephone box and not a coffee shop or a Library,
The Wimpy Bar.
Oh! And you forget to mention this along with Adele, Ed and Coldplay
The Stars Beneath My Feet (2004-2021). The album is scheduled for release on 19 November 2021.
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I have kept my rather large collection of vinyl for just this day!
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Delightful post, Geoff. I still have my albums (my first purchase was Meet the Beatles), and the Christmas ones get dusted and played each year. Your list is hilarious.
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I’ve just been listening to vinyl that I have had to buy at some hideous price having chucked my original versions which I bought for pennies at Woolies all those years ago,
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I’m glad I kept most of mine even if some of it shows up my taste for what it was: non existent.
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We have a glorious collection of vinlys and a few years ago splurged for an antique-looking player. 😀 … there’s really nothing like the sound of ’em. 🙂
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even the crackles bring back memories
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