Ron Bonemarrow And The New Job #writephoto

This week’s #writephoto is a trifle weird

‘So how was it?’

‘Fine.’

‘Nice people?’

‘They’re okay. What’s for tea?’

‘Cabbage. What did you do?’

‘You know. Things. What sort of cabbage?’

‘Boiled. And I don’t know what things. That’s why I asked.’

‘It’s just a job, mum. How long did you boil it for?’

‘I don’t know. The usual. It’s your first day. The least you can do, Ron Bonemarrow is tell your mum what you did.’

‘Muuuum.’

‘Humour me.’

‘How long…?’

‘About an hour. Why do you want to know? You’ve never asked before.’

‘Mr Poultice says that getting the boiling time right is crucial.’

‘Why we’re you talking about boiling cabbage?’

‘We weren’t. It was the induction.’

‘See, Ron, you’re telling me about your first day. Go on. What’s this induction, then?’

‘It’s a sort of class. We got told allsorts of stuff. It’s not easy.’

‘Same as boiling cabbage. What stuff?!’

‘Like, back in the dark days, they used to flail but these days it’s more scientific and they boil.’

‘What do they flail and boil?’

‘Can I have dinner first? I’m starving.’

‘Come on what did you boil and then I’ll serve up.’

‘Bodies.’

‘Bodies? Like corpses?’

‘ I suppose. Mr Poultice didn’t say.’

‘But…’

‘Mum, you promised we’d eat.’

‘I know Ron, but I’m interested.’

‘It’s pretty dull, just bits not whole bodies, mum. No heads or anything. I really am starving.’

‘Maybe you need to be more experienced before you boil a head. And to think it’s a start up cosmetic business…’

‘Is this an Arctic cabbage?’

‘No, Ron, it’s bipolar. What do they do with the boiled bits?’

‘The fleshy parts are novelty sausage fillers and the bones used in their build your own paleo home grooming range. I think he said stone age soap. Can I have some custard?’

‘How do they source the body parts?’

‘Drive by shootings, mostly. Custard?

‘Vanilla or unleaded? Would they take your father? He’s been in the freezer since St Swithin’s and I need to make some space for the raspberries.’

‘I’ll ask. You may need to keep the head.’

‘That’s fine. We’ll make a centrepiece for the harvest festival. After you’ve finished the cabbage, I’ve some soup on the go, though you’ll need to eat it quickly as it’s beginning to scab.’

‘After can I watch TV? There’s a documentary about bird watching.’

‘I really don’t understand why you like those horror shows. Yes, of course, though you’ll need to fetch you sister from the Lambrini’s first.’

‘Not again, mum.’

‘I’ve asked Terrance to control that wretched dog of theirs but it’s difficult to stop him digging her up. It’s well known Labradors prefer vegans.’

‘Alright mum. And mum?’

‘Yes sweetie?’

‘Can we try something different for dinner tomorrow? Maybe roast cabbage.’

‘Goodness, get you. Whatever strange ideas will you come up with next?’

About TanGental

My name is Geoff Le Pard. Once I was a lawyer; now I am a writer. I've published several books: a four book series following Harry Spittle as he grows from hapless student to hapless partner in a London law firm; four others in different genres; a book of poetry; four anthologies of short fiction; and a memoir of my mother. I have several more in the pipeline. I have been blogging regularly since 2014, on topic as diverse as: poetry based on famous poems; memories from my life; my garden; my dog; a whole variety of short fiction; my attempts at baking and food; travel and the consequent disasters; theatre, film and book reviews; and the occasional thought piece. Mostly it is whatever takes my fancy. I avoid politics, mostly, and religion, always. I don't mean to upset anyone but if I do, well, sorry and I suggest you go elsewhere. These are my thoughts and no one else is to blame. If you want to nab anything I post, please acknowledge where it came from.
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31 Responses to Ron Bonemarrow And The New Job #writephoto

  1. Sometimes our eating behavior is very archaic.;-) Thanks for sharing, Geoff! Have a nice weekend! xx Michael

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Fun as always Geoff

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Ritu says:

    A Geoffle classic!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. They do a nice roast at the Savoy!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Chel Owens says:

    Fantastic dialogue, Geoff. Really.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. V.M.Sang says:

    That was so weird. And funny. Only you could write that. I love it.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. JT Twissel says:

    The recipe for Ghouly Stew hey?

    Liked by 1 person

    • TanGental says:

      I’m not sure if this translates to California but a gooly is a slang term for a testicle as in ‘the copper kicked him in the goolies ‘. Which makes for an interesting stew…

      Like

  8. HI Geoff, when I read your introduction I thought: but its Geoff, of course, its weird. I do see you have attained fabulous new heights in this area with this piece. Well done. It would have been even better if a few politicians had been part of those drive by shootings ….

    Liked by 1 person

  9. willowdot21 says:

    That’s really fun Geoff!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Jemima Pett says:

    Marvellous 🙂

    Like

  11. Pingback: #Writephoto Round-Up – SKULLS – New2Writing

  12. KL Caley says:

    Haha! Well, it sounds like he had an enlightening first day! What will the second day bring – haha. Thank you so much for taking part in #writephoto. KL ❤

    Liked by 1 person

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