Eileen Pentangle And The EcoWarriors, Part Two

Part two…

The previous hex called on by the denizens of Broadstairs involved the eradication of certain antisocial types, mostly those who avoided the tennis club and drank instant coffee. It was a significant cull, put down by the authorities to an unannounced sewage outflow and a mussel speed eating festival. In fact it was engineered by Madame Alphonse, the mystic, tarot reader and fulfilled of wishes for a fee.

Madame Alphonse, aka Eileen Pentangle had begun her life in the spiritualist world as a humble if reasonably skilled charlatan. She toured small market towns and seaside resorts, setting up her stall wherever she could and turning a small, corrupt and largely tax free profit for thirty-seven years. Until one day, one of her competitors, a far more successful if nervous practitioner called Madame Foresight, aka Mildred Drool dropped in. She brought good and bad news: she was likely soon to be dead – she estimated she had about twenty minutes depending on traffic – and she had a skill she wanted to pass to Eileen.

Eileen made suitably soothing noises about her imminent demise but Mildred hushed her. ‘That’s the good news. The bad is what I’m giving you.’

Stunned Eileen waited, while Mildred continued, ‘I’m going to teach you to talk to Death.’

‘Talk to the dead?’

‘No, to Death.’

‘He… it… they don’t exist.’

‘Oh but she does. You interested?’

Eileen wasn’t especially ambitious and was happy travelling around, but she did crave a little more financial stability and a little more recognition. ‘What’s the catch?’

‘She’ll tell you when it’s your turn. If you ask.’

It was a no-brainer. ‘Do it. What do I do?’

‘Nothing just use this.’ Mildred handed her an old Nokia 5520. ‘Keep it charged.’

‘I ring?’

‘You ring.’

‘What number?’

‘There’s only one saved.’

‘Will she ring me?’

‘You’d better hope not.’

‘And I can ask about upcoming deaths?’

‘You can ask for favours, though she’ll want a quid pro quo.’

Mildred glanced anxiously over her shoulder. ‘She’s coming. I’ve gotta go. My bloke’s hankies need a rinse before I’m done.’

About TanGental

My name is Geoff Le Pard. Once I was a lawyer; now I am a writer. I've published several books: a four book series following Harry Spittle as he grows from hapless student to hapless partner in a London law firm; four others in different genres; a book of poetry; four anthologies of short fiction; and a memoir of my mother. I have several more in the pipeline. I have been blogging regularly since 2014, on topic as diverse as: poetry based on famous poems; memories from my life; my garden; my dog; a whole variety of short fiction; my attempts at baking and food; travel and the consequent disasters; theatre, film and book reviews; and the occasional thought piece. Mostly it is whatever takes my fancy. I avoid politics, mostly, and religion, always. I don't mean to upset anyone but if I do, well, sorry and I suggest you go elsewhere. These are my thoughts and no one else is to blame. If you want to nab anything I post, please acknowledge where it came from.
This entry was posted in creative writing, humour, miscellany, short story and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

11 Responses to Eileen Pentangle And The EcoWarriors, Part Two

  1. Not a gift to be sneezed at!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I could use that. Well done, Geoff.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Yvonne says:

    Oh boy. I don’t know whether I’d like to own that phone.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Ah, another case of greed and self interest getting the better of someone.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. V.M.Sang says:

    I wouldn’t like a hotline to Death! But it’s a fascinating story.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. willowdot21 says:

    See I have always said that death gets a really bad press.💜

    Liked by 1 person

Comments are closed.