The Dangers Of Digging #pictureprompt #carrotranch

Another prompt, this time from Dede and Kid and Pal over at the carrot ranch.

One hundred years after the final battle for control of the galaxy, the last remaining superhero had bowed to the inevitability of waning powers, changing tastes in graphic fiction and a congenital allergy to stretchy fabrics that triggered a series of unfeasibly large testicular goitres. He had subjected himself to gene modification transitioning into a hobbit-like cave dweller. Now the evidence of those epics battles – the increasingly large stage sets, the ubiquity of green screens and CGI beauty parlours popping up in every high street and mall – had almost all gone.

Thor’s hammer was a rather challenging roundabout on the A472 outside of Cirencester. Captain America’s shield formed the centrepiece of a somewhat tawdry water feature that visitors barely noticed as they passed the site of Magnetron’s final demise (marked by a two mile scar in the landscape and a tendency amongst boys born within a ten mile radius to effect an involuntary hair toss). David Banner’s underpants, so often shredded on transition to Hulk, were sold in small strips by the few remaining aficionados as modern day quasi religious relics. The only item that had retained any lasting affection was Wonder-woman’s tiara which had become invested with a mystical propensity to stop mansplaining.

These days, it was left to the archaeologists to try and uncover any remaining signs of the presence of the once ubiquitous superheroes. One group of determined detectorists had identified a site worthy their attentions. It didn’t take long for the first bespoke metal detector to beep manically. The team set to, digging carefully, their excitement growing. Finally one voice, at once reverent but also fearful spoke. ‘Is that Ironman’s mask?’

Before anyone could reply the eyes lit. ‘Mask? It’s more than a mask, puny person. It is I, Ironman, back from cryogenic preservation to save you from the barbarian hoards. I am…’

His next words were drowned out as, first one and then all of the diggers frantically shovelled the earth back into the pit. It took little time as they worked feverishly not stopping until the turf was in place and the site levelled.

For a while, no one knew quite what to say. Finally one querulous voice broke the silence. ‘Ironman? What a pillock?’

The accompanying nods were both sage and relieved.

‘Pub?’ Said another.

‘Too right,’ added a third.

‘Bit close that time,’ came another.

‘Maybe we should stick to Sudoku.’

About TanGental

My name is Geoff Le Pard. Once I was a lawyer; now I am a writer. I've published several books: a four book series following Harry Spittle as he grows from hapless student to hapless partner in a London law firm; four others in different genres; a book of poetry; four anthologies of short fiction; and a memoir of my mother. I have several more in the pipeline. I have been blogging regularly since 2014, on topic as diverse as: poetry based on famous poems; memories from my life; my garden; my dog; a whole variety of short fiction; my attempts at baking and food; travel and the consequent disasters; theatre, film and book reviews; and the occasional thought piece. Mostly it is whatever takes my fancy. I avoid politics, mostly, and religion, always. I don't mean to upset anyone but if I do, well, sorry and I suggest you go elsewhere. These are my thoughts and no one else is to blame. If you want to nab anything I post, please acknowledge where it came from.
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6 Responses to The Dangers Of Digging #pictureprompt #carrotranch

  1. willowdot21 says:

    I am not sure what happened there Geoff but I enjoyed it 💜

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Obviously his wife, Pepper Potts was not there as this is not to be sneezed at!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Funny thing about photo prompts and going where the prompt leads.
    That was a fun response! While I don’t know much about those superheroes, your language and humor were super entertaining. And ending at the pub is indeed a happy ending. Except for Iron Man.
    Thanks! I put a link to this over at Carrot Ranch at the Saddle Up Saloon.

    Saddle Up Saloon; Picture Prompt

    Like

  4. Charli Mills says:

    I feel for the archaeologists of the future. At least they still have pubs.

    Liked by 1 person

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