Today is a good day. I know the old saying ‘nothing good can come of a day which starts with having to get out of bed’ but I’m not of that view. Certainly not today. No, today is a day to ponder what makes the human condition worthwhile.

It’s not stuff ‘n things, for sure. How much stuff do you really remember owning; how much stuff do you really need? Some, sure. {what about that stupid toy penguin you took to Uni and which those so called friends blew up? You remember him, don’t you?} Ok, there’s some stuff. What about experiences? I bleat at the children still to make the most of their young selves by absorbing as many experiences as they can (as long as they aren’t hallucinogenic). Nope, I think what makes us is our capacity for friendship in its widest sense. Dunbar’s Number is 150 – he theorized that “this [number] is a direct function of relative neocortex size, and that this in turn limits group size … the limit imposed by neocortical processing capacity is simply on the number of individuals with whom a stable inter-personal relationship can be maintained.” Couldn’t have put it better myself. You see, none of us would really get anywhere without the little interpersonal relationships that we each use daily, weekly or whatever to make our lives tick, even if it’s on a screen and not in the flesh. The person to laugh with…

Yes, laughter. Ella Wheeler Wilcox might not have discovered Reese’s Pieces or invented the slog sweep or anything else that is fundamental to humanity’s survival into the twenty-first century but she did say Laugh and the world laughs with you; weep and you weep alone. Laughter is critical in my book to a sane survival: at yourself, at life’s utter and compelling absurdity and randomness, at the unexpected wisdom of crowds…

It’s all part of the glue. In fact, it’s not glue – which sticks two separate pieces together – but more like fondant in cooking, a binding agent that inveigles itself between every molecule and holds us to each other, each little piece. Without laughter, there’s little trust, little real sharing. You have to give a lot to receive a little and it is the generosity of others laughing with us or making us laugh that improves our health and outlook on life.

It’s not always easy to laugh. Life’s worries beat a path to our door daily, give the knocker a real rap and the scoot away to hide behind the bushes while we look out anxiously, wondering… {stupid analogy… thanks; and it’s a metaphor… sod off, smart arse} You can’t always laugh. In Mike Leigh’s Film Happy Go Lucky Sally Hawkins’ character is unremittingly cheerful but as the narrative unfolds her cheerfulness becomes painful to watch as it covers a lot of (painful) truths. Dishonest happiness, like faux laughter can be cruel and heartless.

So when you find someone to laugh with, you hang on, as if the tide’s going out and it’s your only life line.

Someone to

jog with

snog with

look into her eyes

canter

banter

romanticize

someone to

lead her

to pastures new

someone to

share her

pony-made-for-two

So wrote Roger McGough in Sporting Relations – Cousin Fiona. My equivalent moment was thirty-seven years ago – 1984 {eat your heart out, Georgie O}. The Textiliste and I tied the knot, got hitched, jumped the broom, made it legal, said ‘I DO’…. It was a sunny day, I had that stupid moustache that took another fourteen years to go and a lot of nicely combed hair that went more quickly.

Despite the fact that I’m now more follicly challenged than I once was, we’ve stuck together with much laughter and a few tears. I’ve said, when asked what’s kept us together, that it’s a combination of her still able to laugh at my jokes and the fact she possesses no noticeable sense of smell. The kernel of truth {it’s the smell, isn’t it? Shut up} is in the laughter.

To err is human, the forgive divine? Maybe but really that’s not the core truth. To laugh is human, and I don’t do the divine bit anyway. I recommend having good laugh with someone close to you, today by preference especially if you haven’t recently. It’s good for the heart and, if we possess one, I expect it does wonders for the soul too.

Oh and here are another couple of piccies of the garden where we spent today pulling up this and planting that. And enjoying both rain and sunshine. Like laughter and tears they both have their place but one is preferable to the other.

PS for those who don’t know Cousin Fiona, it ends rather sadly And Fiona weeps after her lonely ride Always the bridle never the bride. Happily fact is better than poetry.