Cakes, Cows And Comics #writephoto #flashfiction

This week’s #writephoto prompt is

‘What do we have, Dumbbell?’ Inspector Mervin Plectrum shuffled awkwardly into the small wooden hide and nodded his thanks as a small constable gave him some binoculars.

‘Just one, the rest are across the river.’ Sergeant Percival Dumbbell twisted to stop his thigh chaffing.

‘Stalking horse?’

Dumbbell shot his boss a glance. ‘It’s a cow, sir.’ He checked through the eye slot. ‘Though it could be an elaborate disguise.’

‘Figure of speech, Dumbbell, but it’s worth checking we’re not being trojanned.’

Dumbbell squinted at the supping Frisian. ‘You think it’s full of small horses?’

‘What?’

‘If it’s a Trojan cow.’

‘Shall we not get sidetracked, Sergeant.’

Dumbbell relaxed. ‘Not a problem, sir. Only one way in.’

‘Sorry?’

‘No sidetracks, sir.’

Plectrum let go a long sigh. He knew accepting a post with the Organised Agricultural Terrorism section had been a bad idea. ‘How many are there?’

‘With or without the stalking Trojan, sir?’

‘Just one number will do, Dumbbell.’

‘A couple of Jersey boys and…’

‘They’ve brought bulls?’

‘No sir. Figure of speech.’

‘Touché, Dumbbell. Are they armed?’

‘They’re cows, sir. They don’t…’

‘Dumbbell….’

‘Sir. It doesn’t seem likely. Seems like an opportunistic get together. No planning.’

‘On the hoof?’

‘Good one, sir. There’s an udder explanation, though, because they’ve not moved, just gathered round those bushes. Or that’s the rumour that’s circulating.’

‘You herd it on the grapevine?’

‘Exactly, sir. The constable sussed their plans.’

‘Really?’

‘Seems most likely it’s another steak out.’

‘I think I’ll wait in the car, Dumbbell.’

‘Understood, sir. It’s a tough gig with us OATies.’

The Inspector handed back the binoculars. ‘They’re cows, Dumbbell. They eat grass.’

‘Unless it’s cake, sir.’

About TanGental

My name is Geoff Le Pard. Once I was a lawyer; now I am a writer. I've published several books: a four book series following Harry Spittle as he grows from hapless student to hapless partner in a London law firm; four others in different genres; a book of poetry; four anthologies of short fiction; and a memoir of my mother. I have several more in the pipeline. I have been blogging regularly since 2014, on topic as diverse as: poetry based on famous poems; memories from my life; my garden; my dog; a whole variety of short fiction; my attempts at baking and food; travel and the consequent disasters; theatre, film and book reviews; and the occasional thought piece. Mostly it is whatever takes my fancy. I avoid politics, mostly, and religion, always. I don't mean to upset anyone but if I do, well, sorry and I suggest you go elsewhere. These are my thoughts and no one else is to blame. If you want to nab anything I post, please acknowledge where it came from.
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11 Responses to Cakes, Cows And Comics #writephoto #flashfiction

  1. Another fun one Geoff

    Like

  2. Thank you for this funny story, Geoff! Have a beautiful weekend! xx Michael

    Like

  3. Pingback: Cakes, Cows And Comics #writephoto #flashfiction by Geoff Le Pard – DEEZ – Art, Books & more

  4. Oh, dear. What a hoot, Geoff. I’m picturing a Monty Python skit here. 🙂

    Like

  5. petespringerauthor says:

    Very clever, Geoff!

    Like

  6. KL Caley says:

    🤣 Haha! Udderly brilliant story. Thank you for joining in the challenge:
    https://new2writing.wordpress.com/2021/07/01/writephoto-the-cow/ KL ❤

    Like

  7. noelleg44 says:

    I’m still laughing at the Trojan cow!

    Like

  8. Pingback: #Writephoto Round-Up – THE COW – New2Writing

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