Declarations

Chel Owen, she of the A’mused poetry prompt, has this month suggested a political campaign slogan and/or speech. If you want to join in, here’s a link

I couldn’t think of anything better than the ultimate political statement, which has been beaten about the Brits heads for 200 and something years. The Declaration of Independence.

Which I’ve updated (well, the opening bit) to this modern world…

The Declaration Of Independence (Millennial Version)

We (such expression to include all pronouns, preferences, self-identifying nomenclatures and statuses) hold these our (including everyone else’s) truths to be self-evident (having due regard to the awareness of all those who might otherwise suffer from any and all potential discriminations by reason of alternate abilities, age, sex, race, creed, preferred gender, or no gender), that all men (women, LBGQTIA, self-identifying mammals, fish and super-intelligent shades of the colour blue) are created equal (accepting that equal is a subjective construct of the Caucasian patriarchy and all equalities are equally accepted and of the same status), that they are endowed (including those who self-endow or sub-endow or reject endowment as a passive aggressive attempt at subversive control) by their Creator (other creators and those with no creators are both available and included) with certain unalienable (without restricting alienation of grounds of alternate abilities, age, sex, race, creed, preferred gender, or no gender) Rights (excluding any that might offend, show disrespect, engender upset or lead any and all to feel a little bit miffed), that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness (and to name a first born Bud).

About TanGental

My name is Geoff Le Pard. Once I was a lawyer; now I am a writer. I've published several books: a four book series following Harry Spittle as he grows from hapless student to hapless partner in a London law firm; four others in different genres; a book of poetry; four anthologies of short fiction; and a memoir of my mother. I have several more in the pipeline. I have been blogging regularly since 2014, on topic as diverse as: poetry based on famous poems; memories from my life; my garden; my dog; a whole variety of short fiction; my attempts at baking and food; travel and the consequent disasters; theatre, film and book reviews; and the occasional thought piece. Mostly it is whatever takes my fancy. I avoid politics, mostly, and religion, always. I don't mean to upset anyone but if I do, well, sorry and I suggest you go elsewhere. These are my thoughts and no one else is to blame. If you want to nab anything I post, please acknowledge where it came from.
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19 Responses to Declarations

  1. I’ve never read the original, but I believe this to be a perfect parody

    Liked by 1 person

  2. willowdot21 says:

    Love it, fancy a nice cup of tea?

    Liked by 1 person

  3. You seem to have omitted unicorns. Was this intentional?

    Liked by 1 person

  4. noelleg44 says:

    A great modern take on the original, which as a child I memorized in school. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Yip, the world has gone mad and the equality of Ayn Rand’s draws ever closer so you and I had better prepare ourselves for the chopping block.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. barbtaub says:

    You had me at “super-intelligent shades of the colour blue”. I was your slave until you wanted to name your firstborn Bud. Might just as well call them Bubba and ensure their existence is a living hell.

    Liked by 1 person

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