Timing Isn’t Everything #writephoto

This week’s #writephoto is

‘Excuse me.’

‘Sorry, are you talking to me?’

‘I didn’t mean to make you jump only…’

‘Yes?’

‘You don’t need to be frightened.’

‘I’m not frightened just surprised. No one speaks to anyone in this park.’

‘You’re not frightened?’

‘Why would I be frightened?’

‘Err, like I’m a large wild beast that’s thought to be extinct.’

‘Yes?’

‘Isn’t that enough?’

‘Well, you’re not extinct…’

‘No. That’s possibly not the main point here.’

‘No?’

‘Look. I don’t get this. You’re about the twenty fifth person to walk past me and no one has stopped, stared, commented, runaway.’

‘Were you expecting those reactions?’

‘It would be normal.’

‘Ah well, there’s normal and there is normal.’

‘Is it normal for you to come across a dinosaur in your local park?’

‘I’ve not given it much thought.’

‘You’ve not given it much thought? No, of course you haven’t. No one comes across dinosaurs in their local park.’

‘Well, you said there were twenty five of us so that’s not no one.’

‘Apart from the twenty five of you, since the great asteroid extinction event no dinosaurs have wandered around local parks.’

‘If you say so. Though there are a lot of parks and it’s been a fair few years since dinosaurs were extinct. So I suppose one might be a little cautious about saying definitively no one has seen one.’

‘Have you ever heard of a dinosaur being spotted?’

‘No, but then again I try to avoid the news, since that woman broke the inter web with her buttock. So I might have missed it.’

‘You didn’t. It’s not happened.’

‘There you go. You know better than me.’

‘It’s beyond rare. It’s diminishingly tiny.’

‘Right. Wow. I mean. Good for you. If you’re the first. Well done. I expect your parents will be very proud.’

‘I don’t have parents.’

‘Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be insensitive. That must be very tough.’

‘Of course I don’t have parents. I’m the first dinosaur in millennia. I was created from preserved DNA.’

‘Well isn’t that just peachy? Though…’

‘Yes?’

‘If you’re so unique, why are you here?’

‘Here?’

‘Yes. After all I think we’ve established this isn’t a particularly extraordinary park. Mundane, actually. As you’ve found, most people keep themselves to themselves. We tend not to make eye contact or interact in any way. It’s perhaps…and don’t take this the wrong way… a rather strange place to chose to launch yourself on an unsuspecting public.’

‘I know. I made the same point in the focus group.’

‘Focus group?’

‘Sounds a bit pretentious, doesn’t it, but these days you have to give a lot of thought as to your brand, your target audience, all that schmozzle. And the focus groups all recommended a soft launch.’

‘Here?’

‘The demographic integration collective compared over three thousand retrospectives and this was the best fit in our price range.’

‘And we’ve been a terrible disappointment, haven’t we?’

‘It hasn’t been great, in truth. It could have generated a little more audience reaction. I imagine there’ll have to be a rethink. That’s rather above my pay grade.’

‘What will you do?’

‘Not much I can do, really. I suppose I could eat you.’

‘Would that help?’

‘It might generate some headlines. “Dog Walker mauled by woolly mammoth in local park,” that sort of thing. And I am a bit peckish.’

‘I suppose I could make myself available as a futile sacrifice. It is Thursday, after all. Nothing good ever happens on Thursdays.’

‘Is that still the case? Funny how some things remain constant.’

‘Look, give me a moment to call Alice to collect Barking and I’m all yours.’

‘No hurry. I don’t think they’ll be collecting me for another couple of hours.’

‘Really? You might get a better reaction from the lunchtime crowd. They’re more credulous.’

‘Is that so? Well, here’s hoping.’

‘Right Ho. Five minutes and I’m your hors d’oeuvres.’

About TanGental

My name is Geoff Le Pard. Once I was a lawyer; now I am a writer. I've published several books: a four book series following Harry Spittle as he grows from hapless student to hapless partner in a London law firm; four others in different genres; a book of poetry; four anthologies of short fiction; and a memoir of my mother. I have several more in the pipeline. I have been blogging regularly since 2014, on topic as diverse as: poetry based on famous poems; memories from my life; my garden; my dog; a whole variety of short fiction; my attempts at baking and food; travel and the consequent disasters; theatre, film and book reviews; and the occasional thought piece. Mostly it is whatever takes my fancy. I avoid politics, mostly, and religion, always. I don't mean to upset anyone but if I do, well, sorry and I suggest you go elsewhere. These are my thoughts and no one else is to blame. If you want to nab anything I post, please acknowledge where it came from.
This entry was posted in #writephoto, creative writing, humour, miscellany and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

13 Responses to Timing Isn’t Everything #writephoto

  1. Well, that’s a lunch date nobody was expecting. Well done!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. willowdot21 says:

    Love it Geoff 💜

    Liked by 1 person

  3. This was such a fun piece! I followed the untagged dialogue easily and am now keen to find out if anyone has spotted a dinosaur… hmm. I’d love to meet this mammoth however, he needs some cheering up.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. KL Caley says:

    Haha! I love it. He reminded me of Marvin from Hitchhikers guide. Ooh, Marvin the Mammoth would make a great name. Thank you for joining in the
    https://new2writing.wordpress.com/2021/04/15/writephoto-dinosaur/ challenge
    KL ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Pingback: #WRITEPHOTO – DINOSAUR by TanGental – New2Writing

  6. Marsha says:

    I love this, Geoff. It reminded me of the Three Billy Goats, each one promising that the next will be much tastier to the troll. He wasn’t the smartest mammoth that ever walked down the park path.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Pingback: #Writephoto Round-Up – DINOSAUR – New2Writing

  8. Pingback: April Story Chat Summary – Marsha Ingrao – Always Write

If you would like to reply please do so here

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.