My name is Geoff Le Pard. Once I was a lawyer; now I am a writer. I've published several books: a four book series following Harry Spittle as he grows from hapless student to hapless partner in a London law firm; four others in different genres; a book of poetry; four anthologies of short fiction; and a memoir of my mother. I have several more in the pipeline.
I have been blogging regularly since 2014, on topic as diverse as: poetry based on famous poems; memories from my life; my garden; my dog; a whole variety of short fiction; my attempts at baking and food; travel and the consequent disasters; theatre, film and book reviews; and the occasional thought piece. Mostly it is whatever takes my fancy.
I avoid politics, mostly, and religion, always. I don't mean to upset anyone but if I do, well, sorry and I suggest you go elsewhere.
These are my thoughts and no one else is to blame. If you want to nab anything I post, please acknowledge where it came from.
Our hardy Scottish snails are the bane of my existence! I’ve tried everything…coils of copper, egg shells across the windowsills, and even resorted to better-living-through-chemistry. But I could still look up to the second floor ceiling and see a snail making its way across.
The only relief to being stuck in Italy this year is that I’ve yet to see a single snail!
We’ve invested in wooden slug pellets. The theory is they dry the little buggers out so by the time they’ve got halfway across the pot they’re presenting as matchsticks…
So far but the parky nights are holding everything back. It feels a little like waiting for the start of the Mollusc 24 hour race at Le Mans where all the slugs and snails are lined up across the terrace from the pots of hostas waiting for the green light of sunshine to slither and slide to their designating planting, ready to start chomping. Hopefully they’ll tread on the rough absorbent pellets and find the juices sucked out of their little slimy tubes….MWAHAHAHA
(For a while I was throwing my snails over the hedge onto the lane beyond. Then one day I hear someone scream. (I ran into the greenhouse and hid. Cause I’m brave that way…)
I sympathise. The beer and garlic are great ideas though nothing is as satisfying as revenge in the form of slinging a hammer during the hours of darkness.
TanGental 
Our hardy Scottish snails are the bane of my existence! I’ve tried everything…coils of copper, egg shells across the windowsills, and even resorted to better-living-through-chemistry. But I could still look up to the second floor ceiling and see a snail making its way across.
The only relief to being stuck in Italy this year is that I’ve yet to see a single snail!
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We’ve invested in wooden slug pellets. The theory is they dry the little buggers out so by the time they’ve got halfway across the pot they’re presenting as matchsticks…
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Is it working?
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So far but the parky nights are holding everything back. It feels a little like waiting for the start of the Mollusc 24 hour race at Le Mans where all the slugs and snails are lined up across the terrace from the pots of hostas waiting for the green light of sunshine to slither and slide to their designating planting, ready to start chomping. Hopefully they’ll tread on the rough absorbent pellets and find the juices sucked out of their little slimy tubes….MWAHAHAHA
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You’re a little bit scary!
(For a while I was throwing my snails over the hedge onto the lane beyond. Then one day I hear someone scream. (I ran into the greenhouse and hid. Cause I’m brave that way…)
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My mother told me snails are territorial and will return if you toss them away. Now that is scary…
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[picturing people tossing them right back over that hedge…]
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Apparently beer lures them in. So if using slug traps add beer. 😁 Great poem. KL ❤
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We’ve gone with wooden slug pellets. I will report back…
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Oh! You lightweight, snails are a mere irritation wait until the leather jackets invade! 💜
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I know. There’s a patch where they regularly strip the new growth whatever we do… hateful little sods
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They really are and they are so ugly too💜💜
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Introduce garlic. If that doesn’t deter them – cook them together………!
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I like your thinking.
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Fatten them up eh!!?
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Love the poem, Geoff. It’s a form I’ve not come across before. I must try it.
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It’s rather neat, isn’t it. Look forward to seeing how you get on…
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What a great view, Geoff. An entertaining poem as well
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It’s a trial and a joy. The garden too…
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😊
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I sympathise. The beer and garlic are great ideas though nothing is as satisfying as revenge in the form of slinging a hammer during the hours of darkness.
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Ah ha, the Kiwi channelling her inner Thor…
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She’s a fierce b*tch when needed 😉
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No surprise there…
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You’re right 🙂
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I wonder if beer works for snails as well as it worked for slugs. Have you tried it?
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No, we haven’t. But we will add it to the list…
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