Every Dog Will Have His Day #shortfiction #humour

I’m putting together a book of short fiction pieces into an anthology that will go live in the new year. Called Life Sentences it will cover most genres and POVs. This is one story form it as a teaser. I may post a few more before Christmas

Joleyn Pinkruffle knew he’d die shortly and it really annoyed him. ‘If you’re listening, I’m not having this. You said, if ever I wanted to trade my soul…’

‘I’M LISTENING.’

‘Right, it’s a soul for three wishes…’

‘YOU’RE HARDLY IN A POSITION TO BARGAIN. ONE WISH.’

‘You said…’

‘HE’S ABOUT TO SHOOT.’

‘Oh come on. It’s a good soul. Barely used.’

‘ONE WISH.’

‘Alright. Can I make it?’

‘GO ON.’

‘I want to be a Masked Avenger.’

Joleyn blinked. He was dead. The bullet had gone in one ear and out the other. But he could still see. He’d got his wish. Right, he thought, on with the mask and… He gasped. Instead of hands he had paws. ‘What have you done?’ He blinked. Had he just barked?

‘YES. YOU BARKED.’

‘I’m meant to be a masked avenger!’

‘HE’LL NOT RECOGNISE YOU. YOU’RE AN ATTACK DOG. OFF YOU GO, BOY AND AVENGE.’

Bugger, he thought but ok, he could work with this. He quickly licked his nethers – he’d always wondered about that – a bit too savoury for his taste – less bee’s knees, than dog’s…

‘ARE YOU GOING TO DO THAT ALL DAY?’

‘I’m in no rush.’ Joleyn marked the corral, surprised at his bladder control. Another upside to balance against the lack of opposable thumbs.

‘I NEVER SAID YOU’D HAVE LONG.’

‘What? That’s not fair.’

‘SEE. SEE. THERE HE IS BOY. KILL!!’

Joyeln ran off, across the dusty Main Street and hurtled at the ageing gunslinger. The greying jowls wobbled, surprise written across them. Then the gnarled killer grinned. ‘You!’

If that wasn’t bad enough, Joleyn licked the stubbly chin and felt his rear end began to, yes wag.

‘What have you done?’

‘I HAVE YOUR SOUL, REMEMBER. IF I WANT YOU TO LOVE HIM, THEN YOU WILL. MWAHAHAHAHAHA.’

About TanGental

My name is Geoff Le Pard. Once I was a lawyer; now I am a writer. I've published several books: a four book series following Harry Spittle as he grows from hapless student to hapless partner in a London law firm; four others in different genres; a book of poetry; four anthologies of short fiction; and a memoir of my mother. I have several more in the pipeline. I have been blogging regularly since 2014, on topic as diverse as: poetry based on famous poems; memories from my life; my garden; my dog; a whole variety of short fiction; my attempts at baking and food; travel and the consequent disasters; theatre, film and book reviews; and the occasional thought piece. Mostly it is whatever takes my fancy. I avoid politics, mostly, and religion, always. I don't mean to upset anyone but if I do, well, sorry and I suggest you go elsewhere. These are my thoughts and no one else is to blame. If you want to nab anything I post, please acknowledge where it came from.

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