As a small homage to those wonderful people the world over who provide us all with toilet facilities and in praise of World Toilet Day I give you my rewrite of After The Listeners, Walter de la Mare
Is there anybody there, said the traveller To open up this loo? It’s surely wrong that one must pay, For our numbers one and two.
It’s not a function of the state To limit where I go. My body ain’t so politic But it has some rights, you know.
If I’m caught, then my relief Should be free at the point of use. Just because the Exchequer’s bare, To charge is no excuse.
It is a basic human right This need to pee and poo; The people’s stall and porcelain Are for the many not the few.
Bladders come in big and small, And bowels are many sized. Open up the bloody lav, Before I go cross-eyed.
If you enjoyed this you will find many more similarly inspired by great poets in my recent publication
The Sincerest Form Of Poetry
(Click the title to find your way to the buy links)
My name is Geoff Le Pard. Once I was a lawyer; now I am a writer. I've published several books: a four book series following Harry Spittle as he grows from hapless student to hapless partner in a London law firm; four others in different genres; a book of poetry; four anthologies of short fiction; and a memoir of my mother. I have several more in the pipeline.
I have been blogging regularly since 2014, on topic as diverse as: poetry based on famous poems; memories from my life; my garden; my dog; a whole variety of short fiction; my attempts at baking and food; travel and the consequent disasters; theatre, film and book reviews; and the occasional thought piece. Mostly it is whatever takes my fancy.
I avoid politics, mostly, and religion, always. I don't mean to upset anyone but if I do, well, sorry and I suggest you go elsewhere.
These are my thoughts and no one else is to blame. If you want to nab anything I post, please acknowledge where it came from.
Geoff for Poet Looreate!
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Ha! Toilet sonnets need to become a thing!!
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Absolutely!
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Wonderful trigger for all the times I’ve been in https://youtu.be/wTP2RUD_cL0
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One of my favourites! This day in celebration of all things toilet, has slipped passed me…. I am flushed with embarrassment 💜💜💜
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I’m sorry to have lifted the lid…
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Stop stalling!
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