Dotty Doggerel #poetry #poems

I’ve penned some nonsense recently which I thought I’d share as we plunge into lockdown. It may amuse or instigate a groan…

Limericks

Being part troll, Jane was excessively hairy

Which sad to relate made her naturally scary.

She tried depilation

But to her consternation She still looked more furball than fairy.

The naturist Alain Armistead
Brewed beer, in the nude, in his shed.
On his famed open days
He received special praise
Because he always displayed a good head.

I really must get off my chest

The terror that follows ‘be our guest’

In my wardrobe, I stare

Wondering what I should wear

The diamanté or the sequined string vest?

You don’t need to be a deep thinker

To realise that old man’s a stinker

When he leers at a girl

And makes her hair curl;

He’s not cool, just a bit of a winker.

For years, I could never find work

As my wink made everything jerk

But the prescribed medication

Has, to my consternation

Changed the wink to a continuous twerk.

About TanGental

My name is Geoff Le Pard. Once I was a lawyer; now I am a writer. I've published several books: a four book series following Harry Spittle as he grows from hapless student to hapless partner in a London law firm; four others in different genres; a book of poetry; four anthologies of short fiction; and a memoir of my mother. I have several more in the pipeline. I have been blogging regularly since 2014, on topic as diverse as: poetry based on famous poems; memories from my life; my garden; my dog; a whole variety of short fiction; my attempts at baking and food; travel and the consequent disasters; theatre, film and book reviews; and the occasional thought piece. Mostly it is whatever takes my fancy. I avoid politics, mostly, and religion, always. I don't mean to upset anyone but if I do, well, sorry and I suggest you go elsewhere. These are my thoughts and no one else is to blame. If you want to nab anything I post, please acknowledge where it came from.

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