Dotty Doggerel #poetry #poems

I’ve penned some nonsense recently which I thought I’d share as we plunge into lockdown. It may amuse or instigate a groan…

Limericks

Being part troll, Jane was excessively hairy

Which sad to relate made her naturally scary.

She tried depilation

But to her consternation She still looked more furball than fairy.

The naturist Alain Armistead
Brewed beer, in the nude, in his shed.
On his famed open days
He received special praise
Because he always displayed a good head.

I really must get off my chest

The terror that follows ‘be our guest’

In my wardrobe, I stare

Wondering what I should wear

The diamanté or the sequined string vest?

You don’t need to be a deep thinker

To realise that old man’s a stinker

When he leers at a girl

And makes her hair curl;

He’s not cool, just a bit of a winker.

For years, I could never find work

As my wink made everything jerk

But the prescribed medication

Has, to my consternation

Changed the wink to a continuous twerk.

About TanGental

My name is Geoff Le Pard. Once I was a lawyer; now I am a writer. I've published four books - Dead Flies and Sherry Trifle, My Father and Other Liars, Salisbury Square and Buster & Moo. In addition I have published three anthologies of short stories and a memoir of my mother. More will appear soon. I will try and continue to blog regularly at geofflepard.com about whatever takes my fancy. I hope it does yours too. These are my thoughts and no one else is to blame. If you want to nab anything I post, please acknowledge where it came from.
This entry was posted in miscellany, poems, poetry and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

17 Responses to Dotty Doggerel #poetry #poems

  1. I go for amusement

    Liked by 1 person

  2. willowdot21 says:

    Lol Geoff, where next…

    Liked by 1 person

  3. you are seriously funny

    Liked by 1 person

  4. V.M.Sang says:

    Smiles all round.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Erika says:

    Thanks for the giggles, Geoff!!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Elizabeth says:

    Just be sure to keep these away from next summer’s wedding toasts. In fact does your future in-law to be know about this side of you?

    Liked by 1 person

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