I’m a man of routine, these Rona Virus days. Up, pee, make tea for the Textiliste, feed Dog, put porridge on to soak, make Vicky’s breakfast, feed cats and take Vicky her plate of chopped tortoise stuff…
Our apple tree – a delightful Bramley – is next to Vicky’s summer house. I’ve been admiring the growing fruit since the early summer.
At this time of year, while the crop ripens, I collect any windfalls.
If they’re too bruised or wasp chomped, I toss them next to the trunk to be stomped back into the soil but otherwise carry my collecting back to the kitchen.
If they’re a little bruised I make a crumble or dice and freeze. Unbruised are treated as per the next paragraph
At the end of September I pick the crop and, if they are unbruised store, as per my Dad’s instructions, wrapped in old newspaper on frames in the garage. Last year I stored some 1000 apples which lasted until April. The year before it was about 600. It’s always three figures. Happily we love apples.
Saturday I didn’t see any windfalls; it’s been warm and still. Sunday, ditto, apart from a couple of beyond hope.
Monday, still none. By now curious, I peered into the canopy. And peered. And squinted, And stared. And gawped.
There was one.
One sodding apple. The unbruised windfalls, ready wrapped amounted to about forty (until I opened them to check on them)…
after which there were about twenty…
Logic says it’s a year off, the heat of earlier and in the spring when the flowers were setting in April and May was what did for the fruit. It just didn’t have the legs.
But, no, in this case I’m a conspiracy theorist. There’s an apple thief about. Probably those pesky parakeets, not satisfied with decimating my sunflowers. Come over here, eating my fruit…
Dog is now vigilant in defence of our crops…
TanGental 
I see Di is coiled and ready ! It a bugger isn’t it from so many to so few. I hope you wash wash your hands betwixt and between getting up having a pee, making the textilist tea, steeping the oats and preparing Vicky’s breakfast? 😜💜
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Goodness you really are the ultimate matron, aren’t you? Yes i wash my hands, all 20 seconds of happy birthday!!
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For Di read dog 🐶💜
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Will do
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Wish my dog would do that. He eats the crop or okays with it.
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The truth is rather more prosaic. He was ignoring me
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That’s more like it.
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Good ole Dog. Looks like a little more than a parakeet problem, Geoff.
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I know. Maybe the tortoise. She’s very slow so may be overful
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Your garden would look like a gourmet buffet if I were a tortoise.
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I can see you in a previous life as a ruminative tortoise… is that unfair?
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Nope. I could see the same.
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Aren’t you a considerate hubby. I too receive a cuppa first thing in the morning to watch the sunrise together with the Squire. I am realising that Dog has a few loyal followers 🙂
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He’d have a more popular blog than mine.
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Sad isn’t it and I think you could be right. More popular than most folk!
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A THOUsand??
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Yep. Ridiculous but true. I hope that wasn’t a last hurrah
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Definitely an apple thief, Geoff. I suspect the dog.
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Me too. I think he was hiding his face with embarrassment
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🙄😂
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I think Dog is more likely to be asking “does my bum look big in this?” Not the most flattering angle!
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It is a bit of the canine Kardashian isn’t it?
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I think next year will be a bopper crop. Nature’s bounty ebbs and flows over the years. I love Vicky! Where does she live in the winter?
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In our garage in a cardboard box
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Ooops, bumper crop. I really hate autocorrect. So, Vicky can survive the cold?
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The garage remains at a pretty constant 5-7C so she sleeps through until March. We then bring her into the utility or if its sunny the garden for a couple of hours while she starts moving. By April she’s out all day and only in at night. She has a hutch with straw if she wants a cozy sleep on chilly days. She’s beginning to slow – last night was 7C here which is early for those temps. She’ll be eating less now, getting ready to hibernate.
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Why did I not know turtles hibernate? Thanks, Geoff!
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This made me laugh, Geoff! When we lived in Evanston, IL, we had a prolific apple tree in the backyard, which drew squirrels to it from hither and yon. I had to fight them to get the apples, finally taking ones they’d bitten into and then tossed, cutting off the bitten half and making applesauce with the rest. LOTS of applesauce. Once I was out jogging about a mile from home and saw a squirrel running down the sidewalk with one of MY applies in its mouth!
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Ha! What a perfect image. I cam almost imagine you bring so affronted you gave chase
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