The Power And Pain Of Blogging

When I started blogging back in whenever, I suppose, like many, I hoped to find a few people who’d read my rather random and rambling thoughts, enjoy my attempts at telling stories and laugh along with me.

What I didn’t expect, what I didn’t have an inkling was even a possibility was that I would make friends, real friendships. I’ve met several of you and enjoyed your successes, commiserated at your setbacks and been glad that those link ups have continued.

Today, via the medium of Facebook I heard that one of those blogging friends died. It was unexpected and pretty sudden. And though we’d never met in the flesh, mainly because of the vast distance between us, I was very happy to think of her as a friend. She read my books, commented helpfully and supported massively.

And now she’s gone. And that’s both sad and a little weird. I’m certainly old enough to have lost people I’m close to but I’ve known them, seen them and thus able to put a face to the memory. I have a very visual memory; most of the things I remember, and I do seem to have a particularly specific ability to recall a lot, come from visualising situations. I rely therefore on those images but beyond a few stills from her blog, i have none.

I feel sure that that won’t matter. That lack of a visual link is more than made up for by the emotional link that blogging has given me. I really never expected it to be so, but it is. Electronic friendships are still friendships, and just as important as any other.

So today I mourn Pauline King aka the Contender Crafter, a proud Kiwi, a creator of visual delights and the writer of witty and wisdom packed posts, so often featuring her two pets, Orlando, her cat and Siddy, her dog. Those who knew her will miss her; I certainly will. And I will, perhaps cherish those of you I’ve come to think of as blogging friends just that little bit more for having experienced that loss.

In many ways it’s an annus horribilis, this 2020, a really bum year.

About TanGental

My name is Geoff Le Pard. Once I was a lawyer; now I am a writer. I've published four books - Dead Flies and Sherry Trifle, My Father and Other Liars, Salisbury Square and Buster & Moo. In addition I have published three anthologies of short stories and a memoir of my mother. More will appear soon. I will try and continue to blog regularly at geofflepard.com about whatever takes my fancy. I hope it does yours too. These are my thoughts and no one else is to blame. If you want to nab anything I post, please acknowledge where it came from.
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43 Responses to The Power And Pain Of Blogging

  1. willowdot21 says:

    Hi Geoff yes it’s awful to lose a blog friend, I have lost two over the years and like you I feel the same depth of loss that I have felt losing family or close friends. I did not know Pauline but I send my condolences to her family , friends and virtual friends.
    We become very close to virtual friends because we can be more honest and we grow close quickly. It has been a shit year Geoff and I hate to say I fear there is worse yet to come. I’d offer to a drink but you don’t so here is a huge virtual hug 🙋💜💜💜💜💜

    Liked by 2 people

  2. So sorry for your loss, Geoff. It has happened a number of times and no less of a loss each time.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Debbie says:

    Sorry to read this Geoff, it always seems to me as if I’ve actually met other bloggers, when we’ve only ever been connected by blogging across the world. I agree with you, we must cherish those whose words we read and the lives we learn about through words and photos. Yes 2020 has definitely been all that and more so far! Take care.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Chel Owens says:

    I’m sorry, Geoff. I know what you mean about blogging friends, and express my condolences.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Ritu says:

    Oh, how sad, his Geoffleship 😢 May she rest in peace 🙏🏽
    You’re right, though blogging opens so many doors, as well as our hearts.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. M. L. Kappa says:

    I know how you feel, I’ve lost a few blogging friends myself. But it’s better than to never have known them…

    Liked by 1 person

  7. trifflepudling says:

    Oh no, I am so sorry. I actually exchanged emails with her a couple of times and she seemed lovely. Am sure you did know her well, even though through the ether, and will be feeling low. Please pass on sympathy from community if appropriate x

    Liked by 1 person

  8. We share the loss of a very warm mutual friend, Geoff

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Norah says:

    Oh my goodness, Geoff. I can’t believe Pauline is gone. She was one of my very special friends in the blogosphere. I’ve been thinking of her a lot lately and wondering why she hadn’t posted. I probably haven’t been in touch with her since the early days of Covid. I am so sad to hear of her passing. I always enjoyed our conversations. We were of one mind about education. She was such a Contented Crafter – a perfect name for her. I read her comments frequently on your posts and yours on hers. I know you were good friends too. Thanks for passing on this news, sad as it is.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Pam Lazos says:

    Oh Geoff, I’m so so sad. I have thought about Pauline like half a dozen times over the past month and wondering why I hadn’t seen any posts from her and was thinking that I needed to reach out to her to say hey and what’s up and now this. As I started reading this post, I had a terrible feeling it was Pauline you were talking about. Her calming presence and optimism will be missed by many. I feel terrible that I didn’t reach out to her sooner. Do you know any of the circumstances surrounding her death? Thanks for letting us all know, heart-broken as I now feel. xoxo

    Like

    • TanGental says:

      She told me in the early summer she’d been off grid because of an illness for which she’d had an op and was recovering. She wanted to read my latest book which I sent her… she was a paperback kind of girl, but I heard no more. I suppose they may have been related but Danella, her daughter’s FB post simple anno7nced her passing. Such a loss.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Pam Lazos says:

        If you have an address you can share with me offline (or the FB page even) I’d love to send a card to the family. I adored Pauline and want to pass on my condolences.

        Like

  11. Pam Lazos says:

    p.s. BTW, it was actually Pauline who introduced me to your work. What a beautiful spirit she was.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. So sorry for the loss of your friend Geoff. So agree with your final statement.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. I didn’t know Pauline or her blog, Geoff but it does make me wonder how many other bloggers have left us because we no longer see them in the world of blogging or on social media anymore. When I first started blogging, I’d never have believed that friendships could be built up from it, so it was a bonus for me. It’s lovely to think your paths crossed each other even if it were only by way of never actually meeting in person. Forty or so years ago, that would never have been possible.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Darlene says:

    Losing a blogging friend is no different to losing an in-person friend. We share a lot in the blogosphere and become close. I’m so sorry to hear of the loss of Pauline. May she rest in peace knowing she touched many lives. xo

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Widdershins says:

    I’ve lost a couple of blog friends over the years too.
    Bon Voyage, Pauline, you will be missed. : (

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Jennie says:

    A lovely tribute to Pauline. I would feel the same way if a blogging friend suddenly passed away. How interesting it has become that our friendships across the blogosphere are often as deep as our ‘live’ friendships.

    Liked by 1 person

    • TanGental says:

      I know. When i meet bloggers in person I’m always charmed they are like their blog personas too

      Liked by 1 person

      • Jennie says:

        Really? That’s good to know. You did the Blogger’s Bash, so you were able to meet fellow bloggers. I think (know) I would feel the same way if I met Rita or Sally or Sue… and many others, and you.

        Liked by 1 person

      • TanGental says:

        They are as lovely as you’d expect. Ritu buzzes about like a happy bee dispensing cake and goodwill, Sally strides like a colossus – she is very tall – dispensing wisdom and a wicked sense of humour and Sue – who isn’t very tall! – watches and times her interjections for maximum impact provoking thinking and discussion you’d not previously considered. But the common trait is their skill as listeners – they like people, want to understand them. Blogging is social after all.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Jennie says:

        You describe both the people and the event beautifully. I suspected as much. Thank you, Geoff.

        Liked by 1 person

  17. Luanne says:

    This is so very sad.

    Liked by 1 person

  18. Charli Mills says:

    I will miss her. There hangs a point of light in my home that came all the way from Pauline in New Zealand in response to something you wrote with the intention that I should have such grace to catch sun rays. Funny how that gift, the work of many hands from faces I have not met in person, would go through an awful setback. There was no doubt what I would take with me into the exile of homelessness. I took that suncatcher to remind of the goodness in this world, that exists where people connect, in person or digitally distanced. I will remember her each morning as Pauline’s craft shines the light of many into my life, and coffee. Thank you for remembering her. I share her loss with you and offer my condolences. Friends and light. We need both and you have shared both with me.

    Liked by 1 person

  19. lbeth1950 says:

    I am sorry. I have lost a couple of friends.

    Like

  20. AlexaJade says:

    Such a beautiful post. I love the blogging community for this. Making friends is a massive part. If you ever want a new blogging friend. Just say hi. 💛

    Liked by 1 person

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