Advice To A Young Man #advice #parental advice #poem #poetry

My father and I undertook several annual walks with friends. These were usually a week, sometimes longer and took in some of the great long distance footpaths England, Wales and Scotland has to offer. We saw some gorgeous parts of this green and often pleasant land and during those long hours many topics of conversation arose and led us on a merry old dance.

On one memorable occasion the subject of the advice dad and his friend Ernie had been given as young men came up, and what advice they wish they’d been given as youngsters. I listened with amused relish to these reminiscences. During one lull I asked dad, ‘what advice do you wish you’d impressed on me, looking back now?’

I should have known better. With barely a missed beat he said, ‘I wish I told you to speak when your spoken to and confess your farts.’

There you have it: a gobby lawyer full of the wrong sort of wind; he had me nailed, bang to rights. This, then, is for dad…

At heart

The fart

Might be very small

And well

The smell

Is nothing at all.

But parps

That start

On the tiny side

May grow

You know

And be difficult to hide.

The sound

Is bound

To make you pay.

Don’t think

It’s the stink

That’s the giveaway.

But be advised

A word to the wise

Be careful what you do;

Holding it in

Risks the ultimate sin

Of following through.

About TanGental

My name is Geoff Le Pard. Once I was a lawyer; now I am a writer. I've published four books - Dead Flies and Sherry Trifle, My Father and Other Liars, Salisbury Square and Buster & Moo. In addition I have published three anthologies of short stories and a memoir of my mother. More will appear soon. I will try and continue to blog regularly at geofflepard.com about whatever takes my fancy. I hope it does yours too. These are my thoughts and no one else is to blame. If you want to nab anything I post, please acknowledge where it came from.
This entry was posted in family, poems, poetry, walking and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

18 Responses to Advice To A Young Man #advice #parental advice #poem #poetry

  1. Excellent. My Dad would sniff and eye the nearest other individual. He also told a story of a teacher rushing into the classroom, flinging open all the windows, turning round, and asking: “Who’s the boy who’s been making smells?”

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Great advice and a funny poem. Lol. Thanks for the laugh!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Definitely great life advice . Wonderful poem.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. JT Twissel says:

    I, of course, have no farts to confess to! But thanks for the word to the wise!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Great poem and your Dad’s humour appeals, as does yours. 😉

    Like

  6. Pam Lazos says:

    Hilarious as usual, Geoff!

    Like

  7. ellenbest24 says:

    A little sexist, if not great fun. I have proof of the female pong. One of four sisters am I and have first handed memories of getting the stink eye from a Mother who passed the blame. It was discreet, a sniff, a one eyed stare, a flinging open of a window. You knew who ever was on the receiving end was the one who heard it slip.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Norah says:

    A good one for Dad. I’m sure he’d approve.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Love this! You must have many fond memories of conversations with your dad, but this one is a corker!

    Liked by 1 person

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