The Relief Of Waterloo

Posted on Jul 1, 2020 by TanGental

Another poem based on one of the greats, this time After The Listeners by Walter de la Mare and in praise of the public toilet

‘Is there anybody there,’ said the traveller,

‘To open up this loo?

It’s surely wrong that one must pay,

For our numbers one and two.

‘It’s not a function of the state

To limit where I go.

My body ain’t so politic

But it has some rights, you know.

‘If I’m caught, then my relief

Should be free at the point of use.

Just because the Exchequer’s bare,

To charge is no excuse.

‘It is a basic human right,

This need to pee and poo;

The people’s stall and porcelain

Are for the many not the few.

‘Bladders come in big and small

And bowels are many sized.

Open up the bloody lav,

Before I go cross-eyed.’

About TanGental

My name is Geoff Le Pard. Once I was a lawyer; now I am a writer. I've published several books: a four book series following Harry Spittle as he grows from hapless student to hapless partner in a London law firm; four others in different genres; a book of poetry; four anthologies of short fiction; and a memoir of my mother. I have several more in the pipeline. I have been blogging regularly since 2014, on topic as diverse as: poetry based on famous poems; memories from my life; my garden; my dog; a whole variety of short fiction; my attempts at baking and food; travel and the consequent disasters; theatre, film and book reviews; and the occasional thought piece. Mostly it is whatever takes my fancy. I avoid politics, mostly, and religion, always. I don't mean to upset anyone but if I do, well, sorry and I suggest you go elsewhere. These are my thoughts and no one else is to blame. If you want to nab anything I post, please acknowledge where it came from.
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23 Responses to The Relief Of Waterloo

  1. Ritu says:
    Jul 1, 2020 at 6:58 am

    Looking very well, His Geoffleshio! Joe Wicks suits you!!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. samfiftysomething says:
    Jul 1, 2020 at 7:45 am

    Wednesday morning smile. right here!! Love the poem, love the plant pot shoes, love your garden, love your french painter look 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  3. derrickjknight says:
    Jul 1, 2020 at 10:21 am

    Great poem; great portrait. Many years ago a team-mate and I, bursting from rugby club beer, visited a public loo. It was closed. “They know what they are going to get, don’t they?” uttered Alan. “Yes”, said I as we sidled round the back.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. willowdot21 says:
    Jul 1, 2020 at 12:19 pm

    Love the poem and that photo ❤️💗💜

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Erika says:
    Jul 1, 2020 at 7:26 pm

    Hahaha… thank God, I already had dinner. But you gave me the biggest laugh today 🤣

    Liked by 1 person

  6. trifflepudling says:
    Jul 2, 2020 at 7:27 pm

    Hello, good photo! Love the light dusting of Dog/cat fur on sweatshirt 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Gary A Wilson says:
    Jul 6, 2020 at 1:43 am

    Have we ever determined if you’ve managed to annoy any owners of the famous lines.
    This one is too funny.

    Liked by 1 person

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