The Relief Of Waterloo

Another poem based on one of the greats, this time After The Listeners by Walter de la Mare and in praise of the public toilet

‘Is there anybody there,’ said the traveller,

‘To open up this loo?

It’s surely wrong that one must pay,

For our numbers one and two.

‘It’s not a function of the state

To limit where I go.

My body ain’t so politic

But it has some rights, you know.

‘If I’m caught, then my relief

Should be free at the point of use.

Just because the Exchequer’s bare,

To charge is no excuse.

‘It is a basic human right,

This need to pee and poo;

The people’s stall and porcelain

Are for the many not the few.

‘Bladders come in big and small

And bowels are many sized.

Open up the bloody lav,

Before I go cross-eyed.’

About TanGental

My name is Geoff Le Pard. Once I was a lawyer; now I am a writer. I've published four books - Dead Flies and Sherry Trifle, My Father and Other Liars, Salisbury Square and Buster & Moo. In addition I have published three anthologies of short stories and a memoir of my mother. More will appear soon. I will try and continue to blog regularly at geofflepard.com about whatever takes my fancy. I hope it does yours too. These are my thoughts and no one else is to blame. If you want to nab anything I post, please acknowledge where it came from.
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23 Responses to The Relief Of Waterloo

  1. Ritu says:

    Looking very well, His Geoffleshio! Joe Wicks suits you!!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Wednesday morning smile. right here!! Love the poem, love the plant pot shoes, love your garden, love your french painter look 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Great poem; great portrait. Many years ago a team-mate and I, bursting from rugby club beer, visited a public loo. It was closed. “They know what they are going to get, don’t they?” uttered Alan. “Yes”, said I as we sidled round the back.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. willowdot21 says:

    Love the poem and that photo ❤️💗💜

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Erika says:

    Hahaha… thank God, I already had dinner. But you gave me the biggest laugh today 🤣

    Liked by 1 person

  6. trifflepudling says:

    Hello, good photo! Love the light dusting of Dog/cat fur on sweatshirt 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Have we ever determined if you’ve managed to annoy any owners of the famous lines.
    This one is too funny.

    Liked by 1 person

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