Please Mrs Patterson #poem #poetry

I’m feeling a little poetical. This one is based on Allan Ahlberg’s brilliant Please Mrs Butler. Please enjoy… Oh and there’s a random image of Dog and the garden at the end….

Please Mrs Patterson

Rogers an awful little pest;

Hes only gone and stapled

My earlobes to his desk.

*

Please Mrs Patterson

Roger really is too much;

Hes liquidized our gerbil

And sprayed him on my crotch.

*

Please Mrs Paterson

Im not sure we can take much more;

Rogers borrowed Harrys toolbox

And nailed Gemma to the floor

*

Please Mrs Patterson

Things are getting out of hand;

Rogers kidnapped Maisie Wellbeloved

And buried her in sand.

*

Please Mrs Patterson

Youll really have to stop it;

Rogers only gone and taken Bob

And strapped him to a rocket.

*

Please Mrs Patterson

You must stop being craven

Rogers stuffed poor Bill with pitted dates

And put him in the oven.

*

Please Mrs Patterson

I know hes had it tough

But Rogers more your psychopath

Than a diamond in the rough.

About TanGental

My name is Geoff Le Pard. Once I was a lawyer; now I am a writer. I've published four books - Dead Flies and Sherry Trifle, My Father and Other Liars, Salisbury Square and Buster & Moo. In addition I have published three anthologies of short stories and a memoir of my mother. More will appear soon. I will try and continue to blog regularly at geofflepard.com about whatever takes my fancy. I hope it does yours too. These are my thoughts and no one else is to blame. If you want to nab anything I post, please acknowledge where it came from.
This entry was posted in dogs, poems, poetry and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

29 Responses to Please Mrs Patterson #poem #poetry

  1. Ritu says:

    Brilliant!
    Lived the original.
    Lives your Geoffle take too!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Those are like the Little Willy poems! Great job!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I still own that book, Headmaster’s Hymn is my fave, even more relatable once I had children! What a stunning garden 🌿

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Mick Canning says:

    Wonderful, Geoff!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. This is great, Geoff. Right up my street.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Ha, great! The flowers and dog, too!

    Like

  7. Lots of fun Geoff. Still in awe of the garden. Dog looks great too.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Ha – ha – ha 😀 So very clever! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Elizabeth says:

    Roger apparently left your country and decided to govern ours!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. 🙂 – excellent photos, too.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. willowdot21 says:

    Hilarious poem, beautiful poem 💜

    Liked by 1 person

  12. ManyaUchil says:

    your poetry was full of ideas for new pranks for me, though i dont think my teachers will be happy with you. BTW is that you dog? I love dogs

    Liked by 1 person

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