Please Mrs Patterson #poem #poetry

Posted on May 6, 2020 by TanGental

I’m feeling a little poetical. This one is based on Allan Ahlberg’s brilliant Please Mrs Butler. Please enjoy… Oh and there’s a random image of Dog and the garden at the end….

Please Mrs Patterson

Roger’s an awful little pest;

He’s only gone and stapled

My earlobes to his desk.

*

Please Mrs Patterson

Roger really is too much;

He’s liquidized our gerbil

And sprayed him on my crotch.

*

Please Mrs Paterson

I’m not sure we can take much more;

Roger’s borrowed Harry’s toolbox

And nailed Gemma to the floor

*

Please Mrs Patterson

Things are getting out of hand;

Roger’s kidnapped Maisie Wellbeloved

And buried her in sand.

*

Please Mrs Patterson

You’ll really have to stop it;

Roger’s only gone and taken Bob

And strapped him to a rocket.

*

Please Mrs Patterson

You must stop being craven

Roger’s stuffed poor Bill with pitted dates

And put him in the oven.

*

Please Mrs Patterson

I know he’s had it tough

But Roger’s more your psychopath

Than a diamond in the rough.

About TanGental

My name is Geoff Le Pard. Once I was a lawyer; now I am a writer. I've published several books: a four book series following Harry Spittle as he grows from hapless student to hapless partner in a London law firm; four others in different genres; a book of poetry; four anthologies of short fiction; and a memoir of my mother. I have several more in the pipeline. I have been blogging regularly since 2014, on topic as diverse as: poetry based on famous poems; memories from my life; my garden; my dog; a whole variety of short fiction; my attempts at baking and food; travel and the consequent disasters; theatre, film and book reviews; and the occasional thought piece. Mostly it is whatever takes my fancy. I avoid politics, mostly, and religion, always. I don't mean to upset anyone but if I do, well, sorry and I suggest you go elsewhere. These are my thoughts and no one else is to blame. If you want to nab anything I post, please acknowledge where it came from.
This entry was posted in dogs, poems, poetry and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

29 Responses to Please Mrs Patterson #poem #poetry

  1. Ritu says:
    May 6, 2020 at 2:11 pm

    Brilliant!
    Lived the original.
    Lives your Geoffle take too!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Stine Writing says:
    May 6, 2020 at 2:23 pm

    Those are like the Little Willy poems! Great job!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. thetinypotager says:
    May 6, 2020 at 3:28 pm

    I still own that book, Headmaster’s Hymn is my fave, even more relatable once I had children! What a stunning garden 🌿

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Mick Canning says:
    May 6, 2020 at 4:14 pm

    Wonderful, Geoff!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. robertawrites235681907 says:
    May 6, 2020 at 5:00 pm

    This is great, Geoff. Right up my street.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Rebecca Moon Ruark says:
    May 6, 2020 at 5:12 pm

    Ha, great! The flowers and dog, too!

    Like

  7. John W. Howell says:
    May 6, 2020 at 7:02 pm

    Lots of fun Geoff. Still in awe of the garden. Dog looks great too.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. thecontentedcrafter says:
    May 6, 2020 at 7:37 pm

    Ha – ha – ha 😀 So very clever! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Elizabeth says:
    May 6, 2020 at 10:26 pm

    Roger apparently left your country and decided to govern ours!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. derrickjknight says:
    May 7, 2020 at 3:51 pm

    🙂 – excellent photos, too.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. willowdot21 says:
    May 7, 2020 at 9:24 pm

    Hilarious poem, beautiful poem 💜

    Liked by 1 person

  12. ManyaUchil says:
    May 18, 2020 at 4:55 pm

    your poetry was full of ideas for new pranks for me, though i dont think my teachers will be happy with you. BTW is that you dog? I love dogs

    Liked by 1 person

Comments are closed.