Nights During Lockdown #terriblepoetry

Posted on Apr 16, 2020 by TanGental

Chelsea Owens’ terrible poetry contest this week has us rewriting a well known song with the current pandemic as the theme. Thus

The Topic is a parody of a popular song on the theme of COVID-19. Yep, I’m asking for a Coronavirus song parody.

This attempt has ruined a favourite slow number at the end of all discos by the Moody Blues…

Nights During Lockdown (to the tune of Nights in White Satin)

Nights during lockdown

Never seeming to end

I’m being driven

Right round the bend

People I’m missing

Beyond the front door

Another night with the missus

Oh what a bore!

Cos I’ve Covid

Yes I’ve Covid

Oh I’ve got Covid

Gazing at walkers, six feet apart

Distanced by Covid, not by my worst fart

I’ve taken up jogging, I stop for a breath

People dodge round me, I’m exhaling death

And it’s Covid

Yes it’s Covid

Sodding Covid

I think I’ve caught Covid, my breathing’s all manky

Even the dog starts to panic when I gob in my hanky

My hair’s a right mess, my armpits are smelly

There’s nothing else for it, save to blob by the telly

Cos of Covid

Bloody Covid

Effing Covid…

About TanGental

My name is Geoff Le Pard. Once I was a lawyer; now I am a writer. I've published several books: a four book series following Harry Spittle as he grows from hapless student to hapless partner in a London law firm; four others in different genres; a book of poetry; four anthologies of short fiction; and a memoir of my mother. I have several more in the pipeline. I have been blogging regularly since 2014, on topic as diverse as: poetry based on famous poems; memories from my life; my garden; my dog; a whole variety of short fiction; my attempts at baking and food; travel and the consequent disasters; theatre, film and book reviews; and the occasional thought piece. Mostly it is whatever takes my fancy. I avoid politics, mostly, and religion, always. I don't mean to upset anyone but if I do, well, sorry and I suggest you go elsewhere. These are my thoughts and no one else is to blame. If you want to nab anything I post, please acknowledge where it came from.
This entry was posted in miscellany, poems, poetry and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

34 Responses to Nights During Lockdown #terriblepoetry

  1. George says:
    Apr 16, 2020 at 2:30 pm

    “Distanced by Covid, not by my worst fart” I think that earns you the title Terrible Poet Laureate. Wonderful stuff!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Darlene says:
    Apr 16, 2020 at 3:25 pm

    A good one!! Now it’s running in my head!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. trifflepudling says:
    Apr 16, 2020 at 4:07 pm

    I misread this at first and thought you were challenging us to write something! Having written it now, I’ve decided to inflict it on you anyway. You can tell that the old WFH is very slow at the moment…

    A Whiter Shade of Pale variation:

    I skipped the nightly newscast
    Turned cartwheels ‘cross the floor
    I was feeling kinda seasick
    But still I ate some more.

    And the stocks were running lower
    As the evenings flew away
    So I called up to Just Eeeeat
    And the biker brought my trays

    And so it was later
    As the Miller told his tale
    That my face at first just greenish
    Turned a whiter shade of pale.

    So now my cupboard’s empty
    And the truth is plain to see
    Just a jar of antipasti
    And a plate of frozen peas

    I’ll just have to try much harder
    Or I’ll bust right through my seams.
    And although Joe Wicks is on the telly
    My eyes might as well been closed

    And so it was later
    As the Miller told his tale
    That my face at first just greenish
    Turned a whiter shade of pale.

    Liked by 3 people

  4. thecontentedcrafter says:
    Apr 16, 2020 at 7:02 pm

    I feel I need a live version …..

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Elizabeth says:
    Apr 16, 2020 at 8:41 pm

    What a wonderful pair of awful poems set to the tunes of two unforgettable(sad to say) songs from my past. Thanks. Now time some songs for the 20 seconds of hand washing. I have found “I Am the Very Model of a Modern Major General” works quite well. What do you come up with?

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Bryntin says:
    Apr 17, 2020 at 9:14 am

    I think this is going to be a popular contest with a very high low standard. Or a very low high standard. One of those.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Ritu says:
    Apr 17, 2020 at 10:47 am

    He he! Now you need to sing!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Anabel @ The Glasgow Gallivanter says:
    Apr 17, 2020 at 6:06 pm

    Sadly, I sung that all the way through in my head. And I’m sure I’ll still be singing it at bedtime …

    Liked by 1 person

  10. JT Twissel says:
    Apr 17, 2020 at 7:07 pm

    Save to blob by the telly! And I love it, whoa I love it …… big orchestral finish!

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Pingback: WINNER of the Weekly Terrible Poetry Contest 4/17/2020 | Chelsea Ann Owens

  12. Chelsea Owens says:
    Apr 18, 2020 at 7:03 am

    “Even the dog starts to panic when I gob in my hanky” Oh, geez.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. willowdot21 says:
    Apr 20, 2020 at 5:31 pm

    Lol only you could write this 🤣🤣👍🤣🎇

    Liked by 1 person

Comments are closed.