Nights During Lockdown #terriblepoetry

Chelsea Owens’ terrible poetry contest this week has us rewriting a well known song with the current pandemic as the theme. Thus

The Topic is a parody of a popular song on the theme of COVID-19. Yep, I’m asking for a Coronavirus song parody.

This attempt has ruined a favourite slow number at the end of all discos by the Moody Blues…

Nights During Lockdown (to the tune of Nights in White Satin)

Nights during lockdown

Never seeming to end

I’m being driven

Right round the bend

People I’m missing

Beyond the front door

Another night with the missus

Oh what a bore!

Cos I’ve Covid

Yes I’ve Covid

Oh I’ve got Covid

Gazing at walkers, six feet apart

Distanced by Covid, not by my worst fart

I’ve taken up jogging, I stop for a breath

People dodge round me, I’m exhaling death

And it’s Covid

Yes it’s Covid

Sodding Covid

I think I’ve caught Covid, my breathing’s all manky

Even the dog starts to panic when I gob in my hanky

My hair’s a right mess, my armpits are smelly

There’s nothing else for it, save to blob by the telly

Cos of Covid

Bloody Covid

Effing Covid…

About TanGental

My name is Geoff Le Pard. Once I was a lawyer; now I am a writer. I've published four books - Dead Flies and Sherry Trifle, My Father and Other Liars, Salisbury Square and Buster & Moo. In addition I have published three anthologies of short stories and a memoir of my mother. More will appear soon. I will try and continue to blog regularly at geofflepard.com about whatever takes my fancy. I hope it does yours too. These are my thoughts and no one else is to blame. If you want to nab anything I post, please acknowledge where it came from.
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34 Responses to Nights During Lockdown #terriblepoetry

  1. George says:

    “Distanced by Covid, not by my worst fart” I think that earns you the title Terrible Poet Laureate. Wonderful stuff!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Darlene says:

    A good one!! Now it’s running in my head!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. trifflepudling says:

    I misread this at first and thought you were challenging us to write something! Having written it now, I’ve decided to inflict it on you anyway. You can tell that the old WFH is very slow at the moment…

    A Whiter Shade of Pale variation:

    I skipped the nightly newscast
    Turned cartwheels ‘cross the floor
    I was feeling kinda seasick
    But still I ate some more.

    And the stocks were running lower
    As the evenings flew away
    So I called up to Just Eeeeat
    And the biker brought my trays

    And so it was later
    As the Miller told his tale
    That my face at first just greenish
    Turned a whiter shade of pale.

    So now my cupboard’s empty
    And the truth is plain to see
    Just a jar of antipasti
    And a plate of frozen peas

    I’ll just have to try much harder
    Or I’ll bust right through my seams.
    And although Joe Wicks is on the telly
    My eyes might as well been closed

    And so it was later
    As the Miller told his tale
    That my face at first just greenish
    Turned a whiter shade of pale.

    Liked by 3 people

  4. I feel I need a live version …..

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Elizabeth says:

    What a wonderful pair of awful poems set to the tunes of two unforgettable(sad to say) songs from my past. Thanks. Now time some songs for the 20 seconds of hand washing. I have found “I Am the Very Model of a Modern Major General” works quite well. What do you come up with?

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Bryntin says:

    I think this is going to be a popular contest with a very high low standard. Or a very low high standard. One of those.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Ritu says:

    He he! Now you need to sing!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Sadly, I sung that all the way through in my head. And I’m sure I’ll still be singing it at bedtime …

    Liked by 1 person

  9. JT Twissel says:

    Save to blob by the telly! And I love it, whoa I love it …… big orchestral finish!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Pingback: WINNER of the Weekly Terrible Poetry Contest 4/17/2020 | Chelsea Ann Owens

  11. “Even the dog starts to panic when I gob in my hanky” Oh, geez.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. willowdot21 says:

    Lol only you could write this 🤣🤣👍🤣🎇

    Liked by 1 person

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