A Life In The Day… #writephoto

‘So Albertine Mayfly, any moment now it will be dawn on your Big Day and…’

‘My only day.’

‘Well, that’s true but…’

‘Though I suppose that’s merely the average, so some Mayflies may pop their clogs earlier and some go on to day two. That would be something.’

‘True, but our viewers are hoping for a really Big Day for you, Bertie… can I call your Bertie?’

‘I suppose. I mean I’ve only been up and about for an hour or so and I’ve not had much time to think about diminutives, what with hair and makeup calls, the…’

‘Hair?’

‘Well, strictly it was wing tints, curlers for the proboscis and some antennae crimps but that’s a bit of a mouthful….’

‘Quite. So as we count down to dawn on this fiery morn, what…’

‘That’s very good. Rhyming dawn with morn. Was that scripted or spontaneous?’

‘Scripted.’

‘Oh. Well, still well done to who thought of it. Who was it?’

‘Jason.’

‘Go Jas!’

‘Can we get back to your plans for Your Day. That’s why the Spring Watch Live! audience will be tuning in. How do you intend starting off?’

‘Well… and Jas would approve I’m sure… I’ve not had much time to think about it….’

‘Ok…’

‘But I thought I might have a go at painting.’

‘Painting?’

‘Well, yes, after all this sunrise is sublime, isn’t it? I’ve never seen one like it.’

‘No, well you wouldn’t have would you…’

‘Oh very droll. Yes if I can capture this abundant radiance…’

‘Aren’t you being a touch optimistic?’

‘Why? Oh gosh, is it going to rain? I’d not thought about that.’

‘No. I mean I don’t know what the weather holds. I was thinking how hard painting will be for you… a mayfly.’

‘I know I’ve not had many lessons…’

‘Any…’

‘Exactly…’

‘And you have feet designed to grip stalks.’

‘Now I talked that through with Sharon – lovely girl if a touch orange…’

‘Who’s Sharon?’

‘Well, she’s Jas’ squeeze… aw don’t they make a nice couple? Anyway she did my makeup and she said she knows this really good guy, very reasonable, out Romford way, who’s done her boobs and butt and says he could easily fix me up with a couple of digits and opposable thumbs by lunch time. So I’m booked in.’

‘Plastic surgery?’

‘Corporeal enhancements actually. He’s going to retint my wings at the same time.’

‘You can’t spend your whole day under the knife just to squeeze in a quick daub by the time your done. It’s not natural.’

‘Oh I see. You want to stereotype me do you? Burden me with all your mammalian prejudices. You expect me to buzz about, find a mate, shag them on some stalk while you film us at it, give birth to a few eggs and snuff it. Do you know how much energy loss that shagging involves? If I skip that part I’ve a better than evens chance of enjoying a day two.’

‘But that’s how you’re designed. That’s not stereotyping, that’s the natural order.’

‘Oh get you. If we’re playing the natural order game, you should be out hunting and gathering and your missus nurturing rather you posing in front of a camera while she’s enjoying a sweaty hour of downward facing dog to Seb’s upward pointing polecat at the local yoga class.’

‘How do you know that…’

‘Sharon told me. The point is, it’s alright for you to move on, spend your day ordering your people about but not me. I’m to remain forever stuck doing the same old same old. Well, wise up, Bub. We’re taking control over our lives. No more of this temporal hegemony fixing me to a Day’s action, no more of this May Fly. From now on it’s Will Fly where I want and when I want.’

‘Have you finished?’

‘Yes, I suppose.’

‘And did you read the contract?’

‘Contract?’

‘The bit where it commits you to acting as directed.’

‘No…’

‘Didn’t your agent explain?’

‘I haven’t had time to hire an agent.’

‘That’s because you’ve wasted all your time with Sharon. Look the sun is up. Just fly over to the pond and check out the talent.’

‘Does it say I have to shag?’

‘No, but you’d be the first not to.’

‘And if I make it to day two, could I maybe have a go at painting.’

‘I’ll raise it with the team. Ok?’

‘Oh alright.’

‘And there he goes, embracing his one big day…’

‘Unless I make it through..’

‘…Following the paths laid down by his ancestors over millennia…’

‘Unless I get to do some painting…’

‘And now we will take a short break. When we come back, we will take time to study the fascinating reproductive cycle of the Mayfly…’

‘Pervert…’

This was written in response to Sue Vincent’s #writephoto prompt

About TanGental

My name is Geoff Le Pard. Once I was a lawyer; now I am a writer. I've published four books - Dead Flies and Sherry Trifle, My Father and Other Liars, Salisbury Square and Buster & Moo. In addition I have published three anthologies of short stories and a memoir of my mother. More will appear soon. I will try and continue to blog regularly at geofflepard.com about whatever takes my fancy. I hope it does yours too. These are my thoughts and no one else is to blame. If you want to nab anything I post, please acknowledge where it came from.
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26 Responses to A Life In The Day… #writephoto

  1. This was some read, Geoff. Japan seems to have agreed with you, even if the result may not have.

    Like

  2. Sue Vincent says:

    May Fly to Will Fly… nice touch .

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Loved it, Geoff 🙂
    Poor Will Fly: So little time to realize his dream of doing something different!

    Like

  4. I am the Geoff. I speak for the mayflies.

    Like

  5. willowdot21 says:

    I think there could be a huge market in mayfly paintings 💜

    Like

  6. George says:

    Very good!

    Like

  7. JT Twissel says:

    I’ve often wondered what the stars of the new reality show “Insects Shagging” think as they prepare for their closeups.

    Like

  8. V.M.Sang says:

    I love this story. Poor Wii Fly. I hope he got his second day

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  9. Excellent. Why didn’t I guess you’d be at the final?

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  10. OMG, how in the world did you come up with that from that sunrise photo? Absolutely hysterical! I will forever call them Will Flys now! Ha!

    Like

    • TanGental says:

      It is usually a combination of things; in this case I thought about who would be seeing this for the first time and a mayfly seemed to be the inevitable vehicle. After that I write the first lines to determine who is talking to whom and let them go.

      Like

  11. Pingback: A Life In The Day… ~ Geoff Le Pard #writephoto | Sue Vincent's Daily Echo

  12. quiall says:

    hahaha . Brilliant!! I love Bertie!

    Like

  13. Pingback: Photo prompt round-up: Glow #writephoto | Sue Vincent's Daily Echo

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