Another poem based on a famous verse, treated with total disrespect. Do let me know what you think
Foreign Is Quite Ghastly
(Home Thoughts, From Abroad, Robert Browning)
Oh to be in England
Rather than ‘abroad’
To say travel broadens the mind
Is really quite absurd.
It’s dusty here, and full of smells
Against which the most robust rebels
And, God, the din the locals make
And don’t get me on what they boil and bake.
I’ll gift a kidney if you’ll just allow
Me back to England. Now!
The birds they have hereabouts
Have beady eyes and beaks of steel
And I really must confess my doubts:
These evil beasts cannot be real?
Back home in dear old Blighty
Our fluff balls are cute and flighty
And fill my soul with careless rapture.
Hearts should sing, they shouldn’t rupture.
I’ve got my ticket, I’m on my way
Back to England’s green gold shores
I’m done with ‘foreign’, outdone my stay
Take me home, to know-all bores
To potholed roads and warm flat beer
Just promise me please: get me outta here!