I think I’ll nano this year. I’ve just launched the Second Harry Spittle book (oh come on, I know you know!) and book three is written and out for editing (launch early next year) so now is the time for book four – Things Never Ever Get Better, set around the time of the Blair victory in 1997. Not sure what the story lines will be but there’s a ton of possibilities.
Meanwhile I’m wondering still about a poetry book. I’ve had some useful and often times challenging feedback on what such a book might contain – I’ve written much, not a lot is any good and it’s difficult to decide what might justify inclusion. One possibility would be the poems I’ve written using the first line (or title) of a famous poem and the structure and then created my own. I will re-share a few here over the next few days and I’d love to hear from you what you think about that idea, whether you think these have any merit.
If you have a favourite poem you’d like me to ruin, let me know in the comments and I’ll see what inspires me.
And if anyone wants to involve themselves in considering my poetry as a sort of beta reader, do let me know, either in the comments or via the contact page.
Oh and as a special treat I’ll end with a picture of Dog.
If (Or When) The Truth Finally Dawns
(If, Rudyard Kipling)
If you can fly a drone yet not drone on about that skill
And capture some celebs’ tits, for your Insta feed to fill;
If you can face the surgeon’s knife and also find the wedge
To have your gender altered, adding meat and two root veg;
If you can make an online bet, and keep on loss on loss
And find some time for other games and still not give a toss;
If you can change allegiance from Arsenal to Spurs
And face the chants of ‘traitor’ and some witch’s paid-for curse;
If you can hold the notion, that your MPs moral compass
Is still intact when it’s bloody plain he’s just a cheating short-arse;
If you can read the dailies and absorb a constant diet
Of fake news and propaganda, yet still you want to buy it;
If you can be a vegan yet not let veganing be your master
Adopt a healthy lifestyle, yet let blue pills make you harder;
If you control the TV remote to the manor born
And pass your empty nights with sport and paid-for Scandi-porn;
If passing days in a sweaty haze of gyms and protein shakes
Lets you think that guns and tucked in tums are all it really takes;
If you can drink your weight in beer, and finish with a curry
Wake up drunk, go to work and still not think to worry;
If you can take on a lifetime’s debt, for a poxy little degree
And never think that you’ve been had then I’m sure you will agree,
That you’ve won life’s lottery and you’ve proved that you’re a man
And really don’t you think, you dick, that it’s time that you began
To realise that the world is sick and everything that’s in it
Should now be run by women, so that maybe they can fix it.