Seven Days Before The Nuptials; Memories of a First Time Father of the Bride To Be

My daughter married the most delightful man over the Bank Holiday weekend in August. We had the most splendid time. The following is nothing like what happened. Really… We had a registry office ceremony the day before the Big Event in front of family and friends – these images are from the first ceremony

Am dispatched to collect the MIL’s dress. Apparently the old dragon is more dirigible than assumed and an emergency zip has had to be inserted. Arrive to find exasperated seamstress – emphasis on the stress it seems – and tearful MIL. ‘I must be pregnant’ she wails. I suggest this is an unlikely explanation for her expanding circumference given she shared with us her journey through the menopause ten years ago. She retorts that patently she has recovered her fertility to which the seamstress – a competent if unsubtle Geordie – responds that the fact it is called menopause does not mean she can press play and resume her fecundity. My mind is a whirl. Does this mean that she and Norvid her ancient Swedish beau have consummated their relationship? She must read my thoughts. ‘It’s not Norvid.’ She tells me.  She confides that someone has interfered with her server and done inappropriate things with their hard drive, thus rendering her with child, presumably of the artificially stupid kind.  Leave them to their discussions and head for the pub. There are certain images that only strong drink can help you unimagine.

About TanGental

My name is Geoff Le Pard. Once I was a lawyer; now I am a writer. I've published four books - Dead Flies and Sherry Trifle, My Father and Other Liars, Salisbury Square and Buster & Moo. In addition I have published three anthologies of short stories and a memoir of my mother. More will appear soon. I will try and continue to blog regularly at geofflepard.com about whatever takes my fancy. I hope it does yours too. These are my thoughts and no one else is to blame. If you want to nab anything I post, please acknowledge where it came from.
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18 Responses to Seven Days Before The Nuptials; Memories of a First Time Father of the Bride To Be

  1. Ritu says:

    Beautiful photos His Geoffleship! And that matter with your MIL… ooer!!!

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  2. Congrats, beautiful photos!

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  3. A works colleague got married and nine months later had a baby…………… brother!

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  4. Best wishes to the happy couple. It looks a wonderful celebration!

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  5. Darlene says:

    I was hoping we would get some pictures. Very nice.

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  6. Much love and happiness for the happy couple

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  7. Erika Kind says:

    So awesome! Congratulations to the newly weds! Isn’t it such a joy for the parents when we know our daughters are happy with their choices? My (only) daughter married a year ago and I can only imagine what a feeling it must have been for you! Looking forward to the pics of the big ceremony!!

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  8. willowdot21 says:

    Lovely photos Geoff💜💜💜

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  9. Great photos. Best wishes to the newlyweds. Your brown shoes look quite dashing. No scuffs that I could see.

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  10. Jennie says:

    Beautiful photos, Geoff. Congratulations. Love your blue suit.

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  11. JT Twissel says:

    Your daughter is beautiful – as to the rest of your story, yes, I could see where that trip to the bar was necessary.

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  12. Lovely couple. I wish them well in their lives together ❤
    Now I finally get to see your choice of hat for the occasion. A better photo, please 🙂

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  13. arlingwoman says:

    Congratulations to the newlyweds. I can only hope the rest of it is spun from finest yarn…

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  14. George says:

    Congratulations, not only for your daughter’s nuptials, but on having the literary skill to forge something delightful gross from what in reality was clearly nothing of the kind. 🙂

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  15. What a wonderful two days Geoff and your daughter looks beautiful.. as to your MIL being of a similar age I can only be hopeful that her new found joie de vivre is catching or is the result of imbibing a concoction available at my local health store…x

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  16. Widdershins says:

    Congratulations to the happy couple and the Father of the Bride for having survived all manner of contretemps on the way there! 😀

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  17. Elizabeth says:

    I loved getting to share the joy obvious on everyone’s faces. How excellent that you like the man she chose!

    Like

  18. Pam Lazos says:

    Beautiful photos and welcome back, Geoff! Are we going to get the full story, or what??

    Like

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