Jobs For The Boys And Bats #writephoto #flashfiction

‘Mr Acula, can I….?’

‘Doctor…’

‘Sorry?’

‘It’s Doctor Acula.’

‘Oh? Right. Doctor of what?’

‘Does it matter?’

‘No I suppose not. I’m just curious…’

‘Haematology.’

‘Oh, so why…?’

‘Why have I applied for this job?’

‘Well, yes. I understand the medical side might attract you, but it’s a little below your…’

‘I enjoy working nights.’

‘Yes, your CV says that. It’s unusual, what you put.’

‘Is it?’

‘Will not work days. Most people aren’t so prescriptive.’

‘My family are committed nocturnals. Not that I’m not flexible.’

‘Oh? Good.’

‘Yes, I’m happy with sunsets and the occasional sunrise. Oh and eclipses. I’m good with eclipses.’

‘Good to know. Not that we’ve many of those to worry us. Okay, can you explain what particular skills you’ll bring to the role as dental hygienist?’

‘I have an interest in teeth, perfect teeth.’

‘Are there such things? I mean whenever does one see perfection in… Oh yes well they are impressive. And so erm, prominent?’

‘Yes well I’ve been complimented on my teeth by many people.’

‘Really?’

‘Oh yes. You’d be amazed the number of people, when they first see my teeth, they become very excited. “My god, look at your teeth!” That kind of thing.’

‘No, that doesn’t surprise me at all. Any other skills?’

‘Well, clearly I’m good with blood. I relish it, in truth so no silly fainting.’

‘Ok.’

‘And I can provide a unique anaesthetic option for those scared of needles.’

‘Really?’

‘Yes. I just smile and… There you go, exactly.’

‘Gosh, Yes, well, that was a surprise. Quite overpowering. I’ll make a note of your application. Can I just check how we should address you? Do you have a first name?’

‘Just stick with Acula. Doctor Acula. But most people run it together. Sort of cutesy nickname, I suppose. Maybe that would work best.’

‘Yes that sounds a good idea. What should I put?’

‘Dr. Acula. Now it looks like the sunset is nearly done – really rather fine, isn’t it? I must fly. Busy busy. You know how it is. Places to go, people to see, blood to drink…

This was written in response to the latest #writephoto prompt here

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About TanGental

My name is Geoff Le Pard. Once I was a lawyer; now I am a writer. I've published four books - Dead Flies and Sherry Trifle, My Father and Other Liars, Salisbury Square and Buster & Moo. In addition I have published three anthologies of short stories and a memoir of my mother. More will appear soon. I will try and continue to blog regularly at geofflepard.com about whatever takes my fancy. I hope it does yours too. These are my thoughts and no one else is to blame. If you want to nab anything I post, please acknowledge where it came from.
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37 Responses to Jobs For The Boys And Bats #writephoto #flashfiction

  1. Ritu says:

    Very clever!

    Like

  2. willowdot21 says:

    Vlad’s still on the hunt, definitely a book 💜💜💜

    Liked by 1 person

  3. You had me with the first two lines Geoff. 😀 Hugs.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Such fun, Geoff. You have turned my favourite book character into a great caricature.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Sue Vincent says:

    I’d like to think he has a sense of humour 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  6. What humor, Geoff! That question from the job interviewer had me in stitches: “Okay, can you explain what particular skills you’ll bring to the role as dental hygienist?” :0

    Like

  7. The beginning two sentences – superb!! (and I know how much you hate exclamation marks)

    Liked by 1 person

  8. JT Twissel says:

    I’m afraid of needles but I don’t think I’d want to be surprised into feeling no pain..

    Liked by 1 person

  9. When I started work at Lloyd’s aged 18 I had never had a phone. I was scared stiff of the one I was expected to use. One day I asked a caller to spell his name, pronounced D, Ath. He spelt it. “Oh, death”, blurted I. Fangs for the memory

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Pingback: Photo prompt round-up: Aflame #writephoto | Sue Vincent's Daily Echo

  11. Charli Mills says:

    Ah, he was a Dr not a Count! Witty dialog. I especially like the interviewer’s response to being glamorized by a vampire (Gosh, Yes…)

    Liked by 1 person

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