Jobs For The Boys And Bats #writephoto #flashfiction

Posted on Jul 28, 2019 by TanGental

‘Mr Acula, can I….?’

‘Doctor…’

‘Sorry?’

‘It’s Doctor Acula.’

‘Oh? Right. Doctor of what?’

‘Does it matter?’

‘No I suppose not. I’m just curious…’

‘Haematology.’

‘Oh, so why…?’

‘Why have I applied for this job?’

‘Well, yes. I understand the medical side might attract you, but it’s a little below your…’

‘I enjoy working nights.’

‘Yes, your CV says that. It’s unusual, what you put.’

‘Is it?’

‘Will not work days. Most people aren’t so prescriptive.’

‘My family are committed nocturnals. Not that I’m not flexible.’

‘Oh? Good.’

‘Yes, I’m happy with sunsets and the occasional sunrise. Oh and eclipses. I’m good with eclipses.’

‘Good to know. Not that we’ve many of those to worry us. Okay, can you explain what particular skills you’ll bring to the role as dental hygienist?’

‘I have an interest in teeth, perfect teeth.’

‘Are there such things? I mean whenever does one see perfection in… Oh yes well they are impressive. And so erm, prominent?’

‘Yes well I’ve been complimented on my teeth by many people.’

‘Really?’

‘Oh yes. You’d be amazed the number of people, when they first see my teeth, they become very excited. “My god, look at your teeth!” That kind of thing.’

‘No, that doesn’t surprise me at all. Any other skills?’

‘Well, clearly I’m good with blood. I relish it, in truth so no silly fainting.’

‘Ok.’

‘And I can provide a unique anaesthetic option for those scared of needles.’

‘Really?’

‘Yes. I just smile and… There you go, exactly.’

‘Gosh, Yes, well, that was a surprise. Quite overpowering. I’ll make a note of your application. Can I just check how we should address you? Do you have a first name?’

‘Just stick with Acula. Doctor Acula. But most people run it together. Sort of cutesy nickname, I suppose. Maybe that would work best.’

‘Yes that sounds a good idea. What should I put?’

‘Dr. Acula. Now it looks like the sunset is nearly done – really rather fine, isn’t it? I must fly. Busy busy. You know how it is. Places to go, people to see, blood to drink…

This was written in response to the latest #writephoto prompt here

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About TanGental

My name is Geoff Le Pard. Once I was a lawyer; now I am a writer. I've published several books: a four book series following Harry Spittle as he grows from hapless student to hapless partner in a London law firm; four others in different genres; a book of poetry; four anthologies of short fiction; and a memoir of my mother. I have several more in the pipeline. I have been blogging regularly since 2014, on topic as diverse as: poetry based on famous poems; memories from my life; my garden; my dog; a whole variety of short fiction; my attempts at baking and food; travel and the consequent disasters; theatre, film and book reviews; and the occasional thought piece. Mostly it is whatever takes my fancy. I avoid politics, mostly, and religion, always. I don't mean to upset anyone but if I do, well, sorry and I suggest you go elsewhere. These are my thoughts and no one else is to blame. If you want to nab anything I post, please acknowledge where it came from.
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37 Responses to Jobs For The Boys And Bats #writephoto #flashfiction

  1. Ritu says:
    Jul 28, 2019 at 1:38 pm

    Very clever!

    Like

    Reply
  2. willowdot21 says:
    Jul 28, 2019 at 1:55 pm

    Vlad’s still on the hunt, definitely a book 💜💜💜

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  4. Teagan R. Geneviene says:
    Jul 28, 2019 at 3:19 pm

    You had me with the first two lines Geoff. 😀 Hugs.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  5. robertawrites235681907 says:
    Jul 28, 2019 at 3:50 pm

    Such fun, Geoff. You have turned my favourite book character into a great caricature.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  6. Sue Vincent says:
    Jul 28, 2019 at 7:24 pm

    I’d like to think he has a sense of humour 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  7. Rosaliene Bacchus says:
    Jul 28, 2019 at 7:36 pm

    What humor, Geoff! That question from the job interviewer had me in stitches: “Okay, can you explain what particular skills you’ll bring to the role as dental hygienist?” :0

    Like

    Reply
  8. thecontentedcrafter says:
    Jul 28, 2019 at 8:18 pm

    The beginning two sentences – superb!! (and I know how much you hate exclamation marks)

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  9. JT Twissel says:
    Jul 28, 2019 at 9:32 pm

    I’m afraid of needles but I don’t think I’d want to be surprised into feeling no pain..

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  10. derrickjknight says:
    Jul 29, 2019 at 11:13 am

    When I started work at Lloyd’s aged 18 I had never had a phone. I was scared stiff of the one I was expected to use. One day I asked a caller to spell his name, pronounced D, Ath. He spelt it. “Oh, death”, blurted I. Fangs for the memory

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  11. Pingback: Photo prompt round-up: Aflame #writephoto | Sue Vincent's Daily Echo

  12. Charli Mills says:
    Aug 5, 2019 at 6:59 pm

    Ah, he was a Dr not a Count! Witty dialog. I especially like the interviewer’s response to being glamorized by a vampire (Gosh, Yes…)

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

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