I bought new shoes for the forthcoming nuptials. Brown lace ups from Sons of London, an online emporia of gentlemen’s shoddery. This was under instruction from the happy couple to ensure I am fully compliant with the tonal requirements of the big day.
They look nice, these shoes. All shiny and brown. Like a highly polished… Anyway, when I put them on they feel fine. Okay. Alright. But, you know, untried.
There is one month to go and I look at these two puppies and wonder what to do with them. I’ve not had many issues with breaking in new footwear, certainly not in the last thirty years. There’s a Tony Hancock sketch, where he joins the police force. He complains about the uniform but is especially scathing about the standard issue boots.
‘But they don’t bend!’ Our hero complains.
‘But your feet do. Now put them on.’
That’s pretty much been my lot. My feet accommodate shoes with the feeble minded sycophancy of the political researcher promised an internship.
But can I trust to history here? The shoes will go on at about 11am on the day and are unlikely to be allowed to go to their bed until over twelve hours later. They and my feet will have the same intimate relationship that a chrysalis has with its case.
What to do? Begin to wear them around the house? Take them for a walk? My fear here is my innate levels of incompetence, the inevitability I will scuff these little treasures and have to face the ignominy of a bridal scowl.
But not to at least share a little time together, to bond, sock to sole. is also a recipe for disaster if, after an hour or so I’m hobbled. After all I’ve spent decades perfecting my dad-dancing just for this day.
It could be this event amongst events is scrambling my perspective. It’s hot here right now, 35C and heading up. Sandals not shoes are the order of the day. I think I’ll hire a scooter or maybe a wheelchair as back up…
…in brown of course.
Ooo, they are nice looking! I’d definitely wear them around the house a bit. Congrats on the upcoming day–and dad-dancing. I look forward to seeing pics!
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hmm, the video of me and I’m A Believer will be instantly a viral hit, I’m certain..
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Love the shoes Geoff. I do hope those photos do not show those said shoes on the table! I don’t know about your mum but mine would be spinning in her grave ” New shoes on the table..arrrrgh! Bad luck”
Personally I think to avoid any problems wear them around bthe house to break them in 💜💜💜
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oh goodness, you’re right! That’s it I’ve utterly blown it – mothers and grandmothers are turning into cocoons of disbelief as I write…
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Arrrrgh!! Move them quick a photo of the on your feet will save the day 💜
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Definitely wear them around the house and whilst sitting watching television or something else where no physical activity is required and the heat from your feet will help to soften them. I would also wear them briefly outside to scuff the bottoms, perhaps a rehearsal for some dad dancing will help I find the twist usually works wonders, after all new leather shoes can be quite slippery when new. It’s all well and good taking to the dance floor for some dad dancing but one doesn’t want to shoot across the floor in the style of Torville and Dean, in some circles that would be considered showing off and in bad taste. Good luck with them they look splendid.
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I just have to prepare the rest of my body…
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A handsome pair of shoes, Geoff! Breaking them in during a twelve-hour wedding celebration can sure spell disaster. It’s no easy thing to keep smiling when one’s feet are screaming for release.
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My sister also insisted on brown shoes for the gents (bridal party) for her wedding. And blue dresses for the women. She wanted a colour palette. I though it was ridiculous and I never saw any photographs at the end of the day anyway.
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I always break mine in around the house first. 👞
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I’ve never needed to before but maybe i need to be a grown up
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Yes. You need to step up to responsibility; fill some larger shoes.
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Would you mind awfully taking your lovely shoes off the table? My mother too will be turning in her grave. As a fellow new-shoe-wearer of late, I have advice. It is as follows:
Remove any sticky labels from the underside.
Wear them in the sitting room, lots.
Do not wear them in the bathroom or the kitchen, you will spill something on them.
Invest in shoe trees and good polish. Then use both trees and polish.
Take them out for a little walk, most days.
Avoid dogs and small children.
Take compeed plasters with you, everywhere.
Wear socks without holes in for the big day so that if you end up having to take the wretchedly painful shoes off, at least you will have cute feet.
Hope this helps.
Katie 🤔
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Katie the shoes are OFF THE TABLE!!!
thank you for the wisdom. I will follow slavishly.
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Thank you so much!
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Suck it up Mr LePard sir, get those babies on your feet and get those feet awalking’. Twelve hours in untried shoes is a disaster waiting to happen. (What if you get the new leather squeak as you parade down the aisle?) You also risk doing a grand impression of grandad on the skids when you get up to do the father of the bride waltz and that probably will go viral and ruin your urbane man about London image altogether. The leather must be loosened a tad, the soles scuffed a little and the fotB must be fully confident of remaining upright at all times and comfortable in his chosen apparel. So you probably also need to don the suit, top hat and etc for a few days of solitary bending, swaying and slow marching practise just to be sure……..
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I fear it’s true. I need to choose dry days and sally forth. To arms!!
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Attaboy!
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I’m told a good way to soften leather is to pee on it – and, no, I haven’t tried it.
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Maybe that’s one piece of advice i might ignore
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Very wise.
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Oh the dilemma of a real LIFE FOF!
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I know. Its one lurch into terror after another
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😂
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If they came with shoe bags just put them on and put the shoe bag over them. Be careful on the wooden floors but you will get at least one walk around the block and no scuffing.
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I’m going to try them outside next week. Wish me luck..
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Good luck.
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I’ve never understood formal weddings but then I got married in a raincoat, wearing tennis shoes. Can you find a pair of slippers that look the same as formal shoes – I doubt after 12 hours anyone is going to pay close attention to your feet unless of course there’s some kind of best looking shoes contest at the reception. I’m not suggesting you start a tradition mind you…… After the wedding, go on vacation to a place that is shoes optional.
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Ill be honest and say slippers sound like heaven. I think after 12 hours i won’t care about look as long as i can feel the feet still…
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Agree with some of above. Deffo change them after the photos – and carry some plasters in your pocket!
Beautiful shoes, seems a shame to wear them at all!
Hope all the celebrations go well when they arrive. Aw, proud parents, eh. Sniff!
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Sniff indeed. We had a jen do at home this weekend but you’ll have to ask Linda what went on. Mylo and i were banned…
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😀 😀
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Oh Ireland!
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I would take your shoes out for a day to test them before the big day. But be so careful to treat them with the care they deserve as they are a very nice pair indeed. 🙂
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I will treat them like gloves!!
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Sandals with socks should obtain results
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I think i might be banned
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Quite simple… nice shoes, wear them in around the house, give them a polish to add some moisture into the leather too.
Oh, and buy some Compeed stuff for your feet on the day.
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Will do!! Hopefully i can prepare the feet as well..
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Wear them a bit in the house. They are handsome!
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Thank you. I just need to acquire complimentary feet to set them off perfectly
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😀
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Those toes are very narrow and pointed. Perhaps they would fit a leprechaun, otherwise they don’t look anatomically correct! Good luck getting your toes squished into them.
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They feel comfy in truth. Here’s hoping
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Oh my gosh, I hate the uncomfortable shoe!
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They seem fine around the house. I suspect time will be the greater test
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They’re gorgeous, but definitely, definitely wear them in first, and if you scuff them, well that’s why boot polish was invented. 😀
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I know you’re right. There’s an exact example of perfect being the enemy of the good
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A fab looking pair of shoes. Everyone else has given good advice. You do need to wear them a bit before the day or you will be sorry. But if they are good British leather, they should be just fine. You will look dapper from head to toe.
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Nice shoes, Geoff. I’m sure it won’t hurt (hopefully) to wear them in a bit around the house. It wouldn’t be fun to not be able to dance on the day.
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