A Walk In The Woods #thoughtpiece

I happened to be walking around Dunwich Forest in Suffolk yesterday. It’s a calming place when you dodge the logging that is happening in a few places. Then I came upon a man with two spaniels. He was ahead of me on a winding path so occasionally he and his dogs disappeared from view as, gradually, Dog and I closed in. The path inclined upwards and he and his companions disappeared, again, behind some tall ferns. We followed them round the corner and…

The two dogs sat, all attention, staring at the high bracken. Of the man there was no sign. I smiled. He must have popped off the path for a comfort break still oblivious to my presence when…

Blow me – a deep and rich voice rose from the impenetrable foliage, singing Men of Harlech.

When I worked in a hotel one summer an aged guest – to my 19 year old eyes – used to pop to the gents on a pretty regular basis. After a couple of minutes, the distinct strains – I use that word advisedly – of Bread of Heaven emerged from behind the lavatory door and floated towards me, behind the bar, and his wife on a bar stool nearby. I must have looked confused at this karaoke accompaniment to his relief as his wife lent in and, in confidential tones, offered, ‘Waterworks problems. It’s either that bloody song or he whistles something from Cliff Richards’ back catalogue to get things flowing.’

As I stood by the patient dogs, I had to wonder if there was something essentially Welsh about this managed micturition. Or just their favourite hymns?

I decided my presence might be unwelcome given what I assumed transpired deep inside the undergrowth. I left the dogs to their sojourn and headed further into the trees. Maybe I should carry out a survey or just adopt the process as my own. Not at the rugby, obviously. My antipathy to having my true allegiance questioned outranks my need for swift relief…

About TanGental

My name is Geoff Le Pard. Once I was a lawyer; now I am a writer. I've published four books - Dead Flies and Sherry Trifle, My Father and Other Liars, Salisbury Square and Buster & Moo. In addition I have published three anthologies of short stories and a memoir of my mother. More will appear soon. I will try and continue to blog regularly at geofflepard.com about whatever takes my fancy. I hope it does yours too. These are my thoughts and no one else is to blame. If you want to nab anything I post, please acknowledge where it came from.
This entry was posted in dogs, miscellany, suffolk, thought piece, walking and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

24 Responses to A Walk In The Woods #thoughtpiece

  1. willowdot21 says:

    Lol Geoff….. what a relief to know you escaped unseen and unsung. xx

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Good Spaniels, I say.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Wonderful walk Geoff. The spaniels were well trained to wait.
    I got caught short at Hengitsbury Head and Kizzy, my GSD kept guard.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I have only ever heard of people singing in the shower, Geoff. Lovely summertime photographs.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. JT Twissel says:

    I always sing in fairy forests! To let them know I’m there of course. But they’re too shy to come to me!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Elizabeth says:

    That is hilarious. I have never heard of such a thing, so maybe it is confined to your side of the ocean.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. arlingwoman says:

    First I heard of singing to persuade the waterworks to open. On the other hand, in many a British novel, a character has asked “are you taking the piss?”

    Liked by 1 person

  8. I particularly liked the rugby allegiance joke

    Liked by 1 person

  9. noelleg44 says:

    A good laugh on a walk! But really, something from Keith Richards gets the water flowing??

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Widdershins says:

    Anything that engages the diaphragm, I suppose. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

If you would like to reply please do so here

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.