A Walk In The Woods #thoughtpiece

Posted on Jul 8, 2019 by TanGental

I happened to be walking around Dunwich Forest in Suffolk yesterday. It’s a calming place when you dodge the logging that is happening in a few places. Then I came upon a man with two spaniels. He was ahead of me on a winding path so occasionally he and his dogs disappeared from view as, gradually, Dog and I closed in. The path inclined upwards and he and his companions disappeared, again, behind some tall ferns. We followed them round the corner and…

The two dogs sat, all attention, staring at the high bracken. Of the man there was no sign. I smiled. He must have popped off the path for a comfort break still oblivious to my presence when…

Blow me – a deep and rich voice rose from the impenetrable foliage, singing Men of Harlech.

When I worked in a hotel one summer an aged guest – to my 19 year old eyes – used to pop to the gents on a pretty regular basis. After a couple of minutes, the distinct strains – I use that word advisedly – of Bread of Heaven emerged from behind the lavatory door and floated towards me, behind the bar, and his wife on a bar stool nearby. I must have looked confused at this karaoke accompaniment to his relief as his wife lent in and, in confidential tones, offered, ‘Waterworks problems. It’s either that bloody song or he whistles something from Cliff Richards’ back catalogue to get things flowing.’

As I stood by the patient dogs, I had to wonder if there was something essentially Welsh about this managed micturition. Or just their favourite hymns?

I decided my presence might be unwelcome given what I assumed transpired deep inside the undergrowth. I left the dogs to their sojourn and headed further into the trees. Maybe I should carry out a survey or just adopt the process as my own. Not at the rugby, obviously. My antipathy to having my true allegiance questioned outranks my need for swift relief…

About TanGental

My name is Geoff Le Pard. Once I was a lawyer; now I am a writer. I've published several books: a four book series following Harry Spittle as he grows from hapless student to hapless partner in a London law firm; four others in different genres; a book of poetry; four anthologies of short fiction; and a memoir of my mother. I have several more in the pipeline. I have been blogging regularly since 2014, on topic as diverse as: poetry based on famous poems; memories from my life; my garden; my dog; a whole variety of short fiction; my attempts at baking and food; travel and the consequent disasters; theatre, film and book reviews; and the occasional thought piece. Mostly it is whatever takes my fancy. I avoid politics, mostly, and religion, always. I don't mean to upset anyone but if I do, well, sorry and I suggest you go elsewhere. These are my thoughts and no one else is to blame. If you want to nab anything I post, please acknowledge where it came from.
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24 Responses to A Walk In The Woods #thoughtpiece

  1. willowdot21 says:
    Jul 8, 2019 at 1:53 pm

    Lol Geoff….. what a relief to know you escaped unseen and unsung. xx

    Liked by 3 people

  2. John W. Howell says:
    Jul 8, 2019 at 2:58 pm

    Good Spaniels, I say.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. pensitivity101 says:
    Jul 8, 2019 at 4:07 pm

    Wonderful walk Geoff. The spaniels were well trained to wait.
    I got caught short at Hengitsbury Head and Kizzy, my GSD kept guard.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. robertawrites235681907 says:
    Jul 8, 2019 at 5:46 pm

    I have only ever heard of people singing in the shower, Geoff. Lovely summertime photographs.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. JT Twissel says:
    Jul 8, 2019 at 8:27 pm

    I always sing in fairy forests! To let them know I’m there of course. But they’re too shy to come to me!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Elizabeth says:
    Jul 8, 2019 at 9:35 pm

    That is hilarious. I have never heard of such a thing, so maybe it is confined to your side of the ocean.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. arlingwoman says:
    Jul 9, 2019 at 2:42 am

    First I heard of singing to persuade the waterworks to open. On the other hand, in many a British novel, a character has asked “are you taking the piss?”

    Liked by 1 person

    • TanGental says:
      Jul 9, 2019 at 11:54 pm

      quite; we British are rather focused on our waterworks. My father swore by whistling but I’m sure there were other life lessons where his advice was more effective…

      Liked by 1 person

  8. derrickjknight says:
    Jul 9, 2019 at 12:20 pm

    I particularly liked the rugby allegiance joke

    Liked by 1 person

  9. noelleg44 says:
    Jul 9, 2019 at 3:37 pm

    A good laugh on a walk! But really, something from Keith Richards gets the water flowing??

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Widdershins says:
    Jul 10, 2019 at 2:21 am

    Anything that engages the diaphragm, I suppose. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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