‘It’ll Be A Blast, Mr President.’
‘Yes, Mr. President, we’re sure you’ll like this one. It plays to all your particular preju… policies as well as achieving the Ultimate Goal.’
‘The UG? You sure, Rumpled? You know what happens when you get my hopes up?’
‘Yes Sir Mr President. The First Lady has made it plain we must never get your hopes up, without her being given at least a week’s notice.’
‘She’s on side?’
‘We haven’t seen her face move with so much animation, since they stopped the 2for1 Botox home preparation kit offer at Walmart last Fall.’
‘All right Rumpled. Give me the headlines. And no details. You know what happened when you last gave me the details?’
‘Twitter blocked you, Sir, because they assumed your account had been hacked in the light of the tweet contained more than 280 characters and their algorithms showed it couldn’t be you?’
‘Not that one. No, the town hall meeting in Moron. The locals thought I’d been abducted aliens. Again.’
‘Embarrassing, Sir.’
‘Worse than that. They began discussing whether an alien would make a better President.’
‘We did do a focus group on the best mix of types for the perfect candidate Sir. Did you see the paper?’
‘No? Was I on it?’
‘Back to the matter in hand, the proposal Sir. Can I run through it?’
‘Sure. And it achieves the UG?’
‘Sure does. So, we thought, what will make China back off their aggressive expansionist policies, scare the bejeebers out of Kim Ul Suc, make you look like a warmongering zealot without any US casualties and achieve the UG?’
‘Go on. My hopes are rising and I hate wasting a rising hope.’
‘Nuclear war. See, hear me out, Sir. We have all these weapons that cost a fortune to keep safe, and think of all that land that could be repurposed as a hotel and golf resort if you got rid of the rockets. The course would be so radioactive, you’d not need to light it for 24/7 rounds. So we take the minutemen, blast a couple of islands in the South China Sea and then offer to stop if they wipe the deficit and bingo. We’ve done some mock ups of what it will look like from the shore. It’s very…’
‘Aromatic.’
‘Yes, that works, Sir. What do you think?’
‘Good, But where’s the UG In all this?’
‘Ah Yes. That’s the neat part. To show your core support, who let’s face it need a good piccy of you pushing the button if they’re going to believe you did it and it’s not fake news, you need to be near the action. I’ve spoken to the science guys and they say they can get you inside a couple of miles. At the given moment you whip off your shades and shirt and they guarantee you will be as orange as an, well orange for the rest of your life.’
‘Really? Guaranteed?’
‘Totally.’
‘And The First Lady bought the idea.’
‘Totally Sir. When we explained the detail she said she was prepared to allow your hopes to rise as many times as you like after the tanning session and while the colour lasts.’
‘She knows that’s the rest of my life?’
‘She was very interested in all the details, Sir.’
‘Good. Let’s do it. Oh and Rumpled, did they say what my life expectancy would be?
‘A range sir. Twenty to thirty.’
‘Really?’
‘Oh Yes. All the staff are very excited. They’re counting the minutes until you implement the plan.’
‘Counting the minutes eh?’
‘Yes sir. As the Veep said, everyone will be counting the minutes if this goes off.’
‘Geez I never knew I was so popular.’
‘Indeed sir.’
This was written in response to Sue Vincent’s latest #writephoto prompt
Another gigglesome entry!
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Poor man. Does he deserve such treatment… probably
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I’m inclined to agree…
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lol, I thought this was so funny, I almost spewed my coffee while reading it. 🙂
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Oh there’s another trip to the computer repair shop… just drop me the bill, Susan
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🙂
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Twenty to thirty minutes. LOL Good one Geoff.
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Timing is all!
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Another fun write Geoff
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Thanks Di
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There you go again Geoff. You wrote a delightful post… yet any comment I might make could get me fired. Oh wait. Those soul-less ba$t@rds can’t fire me any more because I left! Well done.
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Ha well done on the great escape.. again
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Lol💜
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The devil’s in the details of this one 😉
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Its snucked away in the back!
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😉
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Oh so funny – though sadly I don’t suppose there’s the slightest chance of you being just a little prescient in some of the details?
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I doubt it. I think he relies on his own self created ego power to top up his tan
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I think this one maaaay have been a stretch from the original photo prompt.
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Really? The destroyed island mockup is front and centre isnt it? Or did only i see nuclear armageddon in that piccy?!!
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I guess you forgot to remove your fallout-colored glasses.
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From mill stream to maelstrom in the blink of an imagination…
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Very clever.
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too kind..
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Pingback: It’ll Be A Blast, Mr. President ~ Geoff Le Pard #writephoto | Sue Vincent's Daily Echo
thanks Sue
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Spectacular!
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thanks Crystal!
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Pingback: Photo prompt round-up: Yearning #writephoto | Sue Vincent's Daily Echo
So much fun. And you got all that from this photo? Lol 🙂
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Somehow..
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lol
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I’m late to this party, but I thought this was hilarious and pretty typical! Great little story there!
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I like to offer hope…
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Hope is all we’ve got at this point. I’ve been a Republican since I was 18, but I changed my status last year because of him. Ugh! I’m an in-betweener that just wants everyone to get along. Is that too much to ask? Apparently so! 😊
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If there was one lesson for us from our recent election in the UK it was that it’s becoming almost impossible to chose by party any more.
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Yeah I get that.
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