This is entirely fiction. Completely. Utterly. Except for any true bits
July 10th. While at morning ablutions, am told cake designer due at 10am and I will ‘entertain’ her until First Born and First Of Her Name return from the latest session with wedding designer – some issue involving lace and what I understand to be some emergency escape arrangement. ‘Don’t upset her.’
10am. Worryingly slight woman appears with trolley of Tupperware. ‘I’m the cake designer’. How can she make cakes and stay so slim?
10.05am. Life is on an uptick. Tupperware contain samples of possible cake types and am offered opportunity to taste. Worry that First Of Her Name might not approve but am assured will be okay.
10.10am Am aware of kerfuffle, while in kitchen making coffee. Find cake designer and family dog, Spiro Agnew in standoff over cake slice that Spiro Agnew appears to have sequestered to himself.
10.12am Cake designer desperately trying to make Spiro Agnew vomit; said cake slice contains twenty-seven percent currants. Spiro Agnew thinks is a good game. Cake designer mortified that Spiro Agnew will die. Try to reassure her Spiro Agnew is a robust cross breed – a PooRot Poodle-Rottweiler cross. As explaining Spiro Agnew vomits into Tupperware.
10.30am. Much relief all round. Sit in garden with cake designer over coffee while watching unaffected dog bury unidentified item of clothing next to petunias. Fiancé appears, for cake decision. Suggest he goes and looks at samples.
10.40am. First Of Her Name, First Born and Fiancé join us in garden. Realise Fiancé is spooning cake vomit from Tupperware into mouth with gusto. Hurriedly stand between Fiancé and cake designer while making two mental notes, viz:
1. I no longer have any fears that he will cope with marriage to First Born if he can ingest regurgitated cake; and
2. we need to go to the pub as soon as possible.
Eeurgh! Cake vomit 😦
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Where did that come from? No best not answer that..
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Could expect fiance to attack a bowl of gruel without a thought. LOL Geoff.
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He’s my sort of fiancé, I think
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Ha haha.
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Lawdy…
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There comes a time…
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Yep! Mine are launched and have their own, so…
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Passing knowledge on to the next generation is important..
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has any dog ever vomited into a receptacle? that part has to be fiction. LOL.
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Mine did once slowly a quietly vomit into my shoes. Does that count?
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I had a cat do way worse into one of my boots. How she did it, I’ll never figure out…
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That is… eew.
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Heh. Was it after sticking his nose in for a sniff?
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There are certain secrets loyalty demands I keep…
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Poor fiancé , but I agree it sounds like he will manage to party all that first born and life can throw at him! By the sound of Spiro Agnew it will take more than large helping of currents to dispatch him. A PooRot , cookapoo, sprocket, chowrussel they were all Hienz 57s in my day!
Did you get to the pub ? 💜
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No pub yet… and I agree this portmanteau dogs are v confusing…
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I’m taking from this that the pub is extremely important for a FOF!
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Bas3d on my father. If in doubt… pub.
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😂
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OMG! Love the dog part especially.
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You need a pet distraction in every wedding…
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Oh yech – yuck – yikes……… but, Spiro Agnew 😀 😀 😀
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Disgusting? Too graphic? You do know what you get if you treat Spiro Agnew as an anagram?
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One word or more?
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Three
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Well that’s an hour of my life I’ll never retrieve….. and still I can’t come up with anything that makes sense to me – but then again, maybe it does to a schoolboy 🙂
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grow a penis…
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I’m ashamed to say I didn’t see it
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In many ways that says a lot about both of us
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Very schoolboyish
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Am I to infer that you have been entrusted with the cake selection?
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Oh no… that’s definitely fiction…
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Phew! I would have been so nervous for you
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I’m dying over here!!😂😂😂
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Oh dear. Do apologise to your next of kin…
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Well at least there’s that insurance policy.
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You never know when they might turn out to be worth it
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Eeeeew! Do not like! Dog vomit.
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No one would especially if he thought it was trifle..
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It doesn’t bear thinking about.
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Yes, best to block it out
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The pub’s doing a great trade due to this wedding! My jaw aches!
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