The Secret Diary Of A First Time FOF; Part Five

This is entirely fiction. Completely. Utterly. Except for any true bits

June 20th. Call at work from First Of Her Name. ‘Call her. Sort it.’

Mind in turmoil I call the First Born. ‘Hi sweetness. Mum told…’

‘She’s impossible.’

That statement is undoubtedly in the top five most dreaded. Agree, and it will be played back to the First Of Her Name with all the belabouring consequences that inevitably ensue. Disagree, and the reparations demanded by First Born will make the debt born by the Weimar Republic seem chicken feed. Dissemble, and either consequence is left open to be exploited at a time seen fit by First Born. There is only one possible response.

‘What happened?’

‘She wants to change the invitations. If we do, the printer can’t guarantee they will be ready in time to send out. Can you talk her round, daddy? She listens to you.’ The call is terminated.

In some parallel universe perhaps, I think.

I call.

‘Well?’

‘She asked me to arbitrate.’

‘You agreed?’

‘I’m still fact finding.’

‘More fool you. She wants to ruin the whole event.’

‘Is this the point where I ask how? I thought wedding invitations invited you to a wedding and asked for an RSVP. It’s a simple provider of basic information.’

‘Exactly.’

‘Did she miss something? The date? Venue? Oh god, she got your name wrong.’

‘She said there wasn’t room for the most basic piece of information. Without it the risk of chaos is enormous.’

‘Nowhere to send the RSVP?’

‘SHE FORGOT TO SAY THE MOTHER OF THE BRIDE WILL BE WEARING TAUPE! Imagine if someone else does.’

‘Er? Taupe? Is that a sort of hat?’

About TanGental

My name is Geoff Le Pard. Once I was a lawyer; now I am a writer. I've published four books - Dead Flies and Sherry Trifle, My Father and Other Liars, Salisbury Square and Buster & Moo. In addition I have published three anthologies of short stories and a memoir of my mother. More will appear soon. I will try and continue to blog regularly at geofflepard.com about whatever takes my fancy. I hope it does yours too. These are my thoughts and no one else is to blame. If you want to nab anything I post, please acknowledge where it came from.
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32 Responses to The Secret Diary Of A First Time FOF; Part Five

  1. LOL. You captured the conflict position of father between daughter and mother perfectly. You don’t know it but you just gave the way out. A simple question, what happened? Never thought of that before.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Taupe (noun): feminine of toupee 😉

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Ritu says:

    Classic!!!! 😂

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Well, it could happen. My mum and her younger sister had a double wedding. My great-aunt and great-uncle acted as parents of the bride for my aunt. Both mothers of the bride turned up in the same outfit! Different colours, but that’s not terribly obvious in black and white …

    Liked by 1 person

  5. 😀 😀 😀 Perfection!!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. willowdot21 says:

    Lol Geoff, believe it or not I announced I wanted to wear taupe as MOG ( mother of the Groom) I was informed , I could not as the MOB was wearing said colour 😭

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Norah says:

    Hilarious, Geoff! I don’t think I’ve ever received a wedding invitation that told me what colour the MOB was wearing, but what a good idea – it’s not good to clash. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  8. masercot says:

    I don’t know what a taupe is, but I have a taupe measure that will tell us how big it is if we ever find one…

    Liked by 1 person

  9. JT Twissel says:

    Oh my! What a grave error!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Widdershins says:

    That’s it! Call the whole thing off! 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Elizabeth says:

    How about your outfit? Does it go well with taupe?

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Pam Lazos says:

    Until now, I wasn’t even sure taupe was a color. :0)

    Liked by 1 person

  13. 🤣🤣🤣 HAHAHAHA!! I started doubling over at “I’m still fact finding” !

    Liked by 1 person

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