The Secret Diary Of A First Time FOF; Part One

This is entirely fiction. Completely. Utterly. Except for any true bits

April 22nd: Weekend takes something of an unexpected turn when we, the First Of Her Name and I are called into the garden. First Born in tears, boyfriend grinning manically and Male Heir looking like he’s found out who his father really is.

First Of Her Name insists I ‘do something’ while she milks the concerned mother bit. I’m about to suggest ‘pub’ to the men when First Born wails and waves hand at us.

I assume that means approval of the Pub option and am heading for garden gate when I’m called back.

‘I’m engaged.’ Seems the waving thing is to display this bit of grit that’s been embedded in a gold band. Make approving noises until it’s apparent First Of Her Name is now in tears.

Offer sympathy and am belaboured about head. ‘Why didn’t you tell me?’

When I admit I didn’t know it was coming, belabouring shifts to boyfriend (now upgraded to The Fiancé). ‘Why didn’t you ask permission?’

He points at me. ‘He said not to. He couldn’t keep it secret.’

Belabouring returns to its original target, viz me when the Male Heir confesses he knew. Oddly belabouring continues about my person while he is forgiven his trespasses.

First Born whispers to First Of Her Name and they go indoors. Through the french doors we mere males watch as a flip-chart and spreadsheet are magicked from somewhere and marker pens uncapped.

Many emotions compete: none of them are especially worthy. Hands rest on my shoulder. Fiance and Male Heir ease me away, like I’ve been staring at a car smash and I should know better. In unison they say: ‘Pub’.

On our way it occurs I am now Father Of The Fiancéd. A FOF. That actually feels quite good.

Male Heir ruins moment. ‘You’ll soon be an In Law.’ I exchange a look with the Fiance. I think we both know who is going to be the Lesser of Two I-Ls.

About TanGental

My name is Geoff Le Pard. Once I was a lawyer; now I am a writer. I've published four books - Dead Flies and Sherry Trifle, My Father and Other Liars, Salisbury Square and Buster & Moo. In addition I have published three anthologies of short stories and a memoir of my mother. More will appear soon. I will try and continue to blog regularly at geofflepard.com about whatever takes my fancy. I hope it does yours too. These are my thoughts and no one else is to blame. If you want to nab anything I post, please acknowledge where it came from.
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41 Responses to The Secret Diary Of A First Time FOF; Part One

  1. Darlene says:

    Congratulations to all!! Happy days ahead. xo

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Violet Lentz says:

    Congrat’s to all!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. tidalscribe says:

    October, daughter and boyfriend were visiting ( daughter has already told us HE doesn’t believe in marriage but wants house and baby, I suggested no pressure, don’t spoil a good relationship, there’s no time to find another man if you want a baby! ) They are getting ready to go out, she is in the bath, I am in the garden with muddy hands, husband calls me to the back door. Boyfriend is standing there with whiskey and chocolates asking for our daughter’s hand! We then waited and waited, birthdays passed … it was Xmas Day before we heard he had proposed to her!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. On the chance that the true bits are the obvious ones, then congratulations. If not then it’s great writing.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Mary Smith says:

    Congratulations to all – and good luck. I expect it is going to involve a lot of planning.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Congratulations are in order. I hope you have set aside enough cattle and goats for a respectable dowery. Loved the writing, Geoff.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Ritu says:

    Aw😍 congratulations to You all!! FOF!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Great retelling of the event! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  9. JT Twissel says:

    Lol! Let the festivities begin!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. willowdot21 says:

    I remember this happy event being mentioned 💜 has your wallet been warned . Congratulations again 💜

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Congratulations! xxx

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Norah says:

    Congratulations! I hope you enjoyed the outing to the pub. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Pam Lazos says:

    Oh Geoff, it’s hard to think of a way to have more fun sitting in front of a computer than by reading your blogs. You are one of a kind. Many congrats on the soon-to-be-acquisition of a son-in-law. What great joy a family expansion is, and oh! the many more tales there will be to come. Lucky us! :0)

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Elizabeth says:

    I am sure that your continuing chronicle of this episode in your life will continue to amuse and amaze. Especially when you have to remortgage your house to pay for a “simple wedding.”

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Oh I have a lot to catch up on! I’ll put the kettle on!

    Liked by 1 person

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