I was accused the other day of ‘still being a lawyer’ even though my official retirement from that career was six years ago. I gave it some thought and realised the evidence is plain. Here are 15 reasons why you can take the boy out of the law but never the law out of the boy.
- I find I still say ‘whence’ and ‘hitherto’ and ‘wherefor’ when talking to my family
- I cannot avoid defining things as in ‘When you say you’ll be late, what do you mean exactly?’
- If I buy something that has a set of terms and conditions I look at them from a distance, sigh and mumble ‘I’m sure they’ll be fine’.
- Then I make someone else sign the contract
- When I write a shopping list it has a list of exclusions on the back
- I insist on things being in writing: so if there’s chocolate in the fridge with no name on it, I think it’s fair to claim squatters rights since it obviously doesn’t belong to anyone.
- I can bullshit for longer and with greater fluency than all my friends save those who are also lawyers.
- I enjoy dressing up in gowns
- In any family discussion I am inclined to say, ‘But you said on the 27th March….’ and have a contemporaneous note of the conversation in my journal.
- I am happy using expressions like ‘contemporaneous note’ and don’t feel a dick when I do.
- I keep a note of how long things take to do though my attempts to introduce time sheets into our daily routine have thus far floundered.
- I am aghast when, having cited a clearly binding Authority, the precedent is ignored: as in ‘but I always watch the rugby/cricket/football/golf on Saturdays’.
- I feel more comfortable if I’m allowed to include a simple errors, omissions and indemnity clause on the back of wedding presents, birthday cards and invites to dinner parties. It’s like checking the tyre pressures before a long journey.
- Like well trained members of the judiciary, I have the ability to sleep while appearing to be awake.
- I can be utterly convincing on all subjects (save incest and Morris Dancing) even though I know absolutely nothing about them.
I expect everyone will laugh at this; after all most people do these things anyway, don’t they? I mean, I’m not that odd.
And I’m sure all would agree, we’d not change you one bit!
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Probably too late anyway
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😂
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Delightful post, Geoff!
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I’d bet its true of you too…
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Yes! 🙂
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I especially like how you redacted number 16. 😂
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Counting never was my strong suit Paula… except for the bills of course
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You stand alone, Geoff. By alone I mean with the particular habits and idiosyncrasies that make unique. By unique, I am, of course, referring to a single exclusion from a generality. By generality, I am, of course, referring to a broad statement that oversimplifies the subject or subjects contain therein. Super post. By super, I mean excellent.
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Please let it be known that in this comment the representations are those of one John W Howell and no one else and any other John W Howell is an error or omission and will be subject to swift, summary and blind justice..
Classy John, v good
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😀
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😀 😀 😀 And I just found out I could have been a lawyer but failed at #4 and probably also #16 because I never know when to stop……….
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Or me to count…
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I am the daughter of an attorney and know of what you write.
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Oh dear…
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No kidding.
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… and I married one in the making only to have her make her escape early to raise the kids after she saw what that world was really like. It proved to be a better option anyway, but there are habits that persist.
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Somethings can’t be easily shaken off
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Very clever, Geoff.
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Thanks Norah
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Haha! Very funny. Number 14 is my favorite. Once a lawyer, always a lawyer.
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Fraid so….
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I would hope you don’t feel a dick whatever expression you use
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I try and keep away from dick feeling…
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🙂
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No Geoff you are not odd at all. Intact hubby is very much the same especially with the infamous contemporaneous notes. You did forget one point of law all Cows and Horses and possibly mules and Donkeys must have exclusion orders on them as far as you or I for that matter are concerned. 🤭💜
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Oh yes, you’re right. Ban all equine quadrupeds
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Excellent 💜
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ROFL … ‘Intact hubby’ – if that’s not a typo I want to know how he got that epithet. 😀
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Sorry it’s predictive text typo should be. ‘in fact” 😃
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I thought it rather sweet that your husband still had his original seal; they do say if you save anything in its original wrapper it’ll fetch more so I guess that is true of husbands when you come to trade him in…
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Could be but it’s well past the sell by date …48yrs 🤭
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Ha, I love this. Ah, we parents of young children do a lot of precedent setting and warning the partner not to do the precedent setting. No candy before dinner, no video games weekdays. Oh no, now, he’ll think this is the rule of law!
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Kids are great at the art of divide and rule and negotiation aren’t they
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Oh dear, unfortunately I think you still have lawyeritis. 🙂
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I do, I regularly break out in unpaid invoices and have to take to my bed…
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😀
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I especially admire the shopping list with the list of exclusions on the back. May have to start doing that myself… 😉
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Very important to have a set of es and os…
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Umm, err, I beg to differ. You are that unique!
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