‘Hello,I… Oh My God!’ Jemima Preston took a step back. ‘Are you…? I mean… Him?’
The balding, smiling man nodded, ‘Yep. William Windsor. You were expecting me? Odd Jobs For Normal People.’
‘Well, yes, I suppose. I did book for someone to come round only… Not you.’ Jemima felt her knees flex and she stumbled forward. As he caught her, she apologised.
‘No sweat. Happens all the time. Involuntary curtsying. Can’t be helped. They say it’s hardwired. So,’ he picked up the bucket, ‘where so I start?’
‘Sorry?’
‘The note said cleaning? You’re expecting a cleaner?’
‘Yes… But…’
‘Then shall we?’
‘But you’re, you know,’ she glanced at her neighbour’s window, ‘royal.’ She added with a giggle, glancing at his head. ‘The heir.’
‘I wish.’ William brushed his sparse lock back in place. “Kate wanted me to use this gubbins Dad has made from peonies and ground commoners but it smells like Harry after a kebab binge. Anyhoo, what’s first?’
Jemima didn’t know what to do so showed him through to the kitchen. ‘Maybe the washing up?’
William looked disappointed. ‘No blocked drains? Kiddies’ vomit’ He looked serious. ‘Thing is granny’s getting a bit cranky… you know the sort of thing – “in my day we understood what the peeps were going through, the Blitz, blah blah”, so Katie-poos said we should all do a sort of Bob a Job thingummy, get down with the masses. One is a bit lacking when it comes to u-bends and boiling hankies so it’s learning as we go, wot? If there’s something really horrible, let me at it.’ He held up his pink-gloved hands.
‘I don’t know. It really doesn’t seem right, giving menial work to one of you.’
‘No, really. I insist. I can throw you in the Tower if that would help.’
‘Can you?’
‘Don’t see why not. Still, you sure you’ve nothing more than washing up?’
You sure?’
‘Course.’
‘Ok. If you go through there, you’ll find four sets of sick-stained sheets and two boots covered in dog-dirt.’
‘Marvellous.’ To Jemima’s surprise, William spun on his heel and headed for the front door.
She said, ‘Aren’t you going to sort it out?’
He nodded. ‘I’ll have my people here in a jiffy. Wouldn’t want to make a mess on my first day.’
TanGental 
Good ole Will. Such a doer.
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I know; they are a credit to their blood crazed ancestors
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Ha haha.
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🙂 Brilliant!
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I bet you wished you had a royal family to poke fun at…
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We have Prime Minister Trudeau to poke fun at but in no way is he a Royal 🙂
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Maybe not though I seem to remember his dad had pretentious…
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Yes Elliot was quite the character.
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Loved this the first time I read it. For last year’s Bloggers Bash competition?
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the same kernel, though I’ve taken the opp to polish it… liking Glimpses 2…
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I do the same with mine. I even change a story I published yesterday. Just goes to show that there is always room for polishing. 😀
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Well, his heart’s in the right place.
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That’s all one asks of a Royal: properly ordered organs…
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Loving the ‘sparse lock’ I think perhaps even that has gone now?
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I believe that his father is breeding organic vegan non-binary hair pieces at Highgrove that he plans on releasing into the wild to celebrate his eventual investiture with a spectacular cranial returfing of the then new Prince of Wales
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Sometimes you write a sentence that sets me into a great rolling uprise of giggles that invariably ends with the ‘Oh dear God!!’ statement……… This was one of them
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Perhaps i should carry a donor card that says in the event of death (or any other end of life situation) occurring i am to ground up and converted into an anti depressant.
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😀
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Excellent!
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Loved the surprise ending. You got me this time!
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that’s nice to know… one hopes to subvert convention as often as possible
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Great revamp Geoff. Just one thing. Should the ‘would ‘ at the beginning of the last sentence be a wouldn’t.
💜💜💜💜
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I’ll take a peek! Thanks
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I hate correcting but I leaped out at me 😖
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Always. I’m v grateful.
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Reblogged this on DSM Publications and commented:
Check out Being Royal Can Be Normal by Geoff Le Pard from this post on his blog.
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Thanks so much Don
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You’re welcome.
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🙂
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I’ve read this somewhere before…
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I used a story that I wrote as part of last years bloggers bash competition promotion as the base so that might be where…. if i think I can improve it I do that occasionally.
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And here I thought you were just being lazy. 😉
My mind can’t remember things like where we went for last anniversary but perks right up over repeated things.
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Entirely fair. I try to avoid the temptation to repeat much but I do use a rewriting once in a while. Hopefully I don’t repeat in my new stories as well. Time to stop if I do…
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