I’m A Celebrity: Get Over It. #flashfiction #microcosms

Dune Roamin’

The contestants for the charity version of ‘Nothing Ventured’ shifted uneasily as they stared at the unbroken horizon of baking sand. The presenter smirked. ‘You have two days to survive. And remember it’s all in a good cause.’

Patrick Scosdale lead guitar of Leviathan (‘the best axeman to come out of Priscilly on Tweed in weeks’ NME) sighed. Next to him his brother Courtney, lead singer (‘a voice like Elvis if he was being electrocuted and drowning’ Music Today) spat and watched as the sputum fizzled and disappeared. 

‘We’re going to die.’

‘Don’t be daft. They promised rescue teams are within 30 minutes.’

‘Yeah, fake news. They want the headline: “rock band finds desert too hot to handle”.’

‘Nah. Come on. They said it’s a doddle.’

‘They’re taking the piss.

‘Think of the publicity.’

‘That’s them sugaring the pill.’

‘One minute it’s fake news, the next they’re sugaring the pill.’

‘Haven’t you heard of truth decay?’

‘Shut up, Courtney.’

*

‘We’re dead. I can barely breathe.’

Patrick lifted his brother’s head. ‘Here drink this.’

‘You have water? Where did you get water?’

‘I found a mirage. The guy in charge said to take all I needed.’

‘Guy in charge?’

‘Yeah, tall, skinny, long black cloak, scythe…’

‘Death?’

‘He said De’ath, but I guess that’s just pretentious.’

‘What’s the catch?’

‘He offered a range of options.’

‘Yeah?’

‘Well there was instant demise, straight to Hell, but I’m a bit fed up with no aircon…’

‘Agreed.’

‘Or we could part with our souls…’

‘Too late.’

‘Yeah. He apologised, said he should have read our contract with the record company…’

‘So what’s left?’

‘Support act to Micheal Buble…’

‘You’re kidding? You didn’t accept?’

‘Course not.’

‘What’s this then?’

‘You know you said they were taking the piss? Well, they didn’t take it all…’

This was written in response to the latest microcosm’s prompt: character – singer; setting – desert landscape; genre – adventure

About TanGental

My name is Geoff Le Pard. Once I was a lawyer; now I am a writer. I've published four books - Dead Flies and Sherry Trifle, My Father and Other Liars, Salisbury Square and Buster & Moo. In addition I have published two anthologies of short stories, Life, in a Grain of Sand and Life in a Flash. More will appear soon, including a memoir of my mother's last years. I will try and continue to blog regularly at geofflepard.com about whatever takes my fancy. I hope it does yours too. These are my thoughts and no one else is to blame. If you want to nab anything I post, please acknowledge where it came from.
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26 Responses to I’m A Celebrity: Get Over It. #flashfiction #microcosms

  1. 😀 Surely, Bublé would be worth it.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Ha ha ha. I think he made the right choice.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. another gem from the mind of Geoff.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. barbtaub says:

    ‘One minute it’s fake news, the next they’re sugaring the pill.’
    ‘Haven’t you heard of truth decay?’

    As always, I bow before your mastery of the exquisitely set up pun!

    The Hub is a huge fan of wilderness survival shows, so once and only once I agreed to watch with him. I lasted a record (for me) five minutes until Bear Grills uttered the immortal words, “It’s time to drink my urine.“

    Liked by 1 person

    • TanGental says:

      Ah those slasher movies.
      . Love them!

      Like

      • barbtaub says:

        I give up. I’ve read your comment forwards and back, and I have to confess the truth—I have no idea what you’re talking about. No doubt it’s some fiendishly clever Geoff-ism, but…

        I guess this means I’ll have to hang up my WordPress login. Someone will formally break my bluetooth headphones over their knee and hand the broken bits back to me. I can never hold up my (virtual) head on the interwebs. The worst has happened—I don’t get your joke.

        [Just sitting here, in the dark, sobbing quietly…]

        Like

      • TanGental says:

        ah oh dear – British slang – to have a slash = to take a piss…. does that help or go to show that I was dragging a very shallow barrel looking for humour…

        Liked by 1 person

      • barbtaub says:

        Separated by a common language again.

        Liked by 1 person

      • TanGental says:

        indeed so…

        Like

  5. Loved this … very entertaining.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. willowdot21 says:

    Brilliant Geoff you are getting so good at these! ….At least it was Buble it could of been James Blunt !

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Pingback: I’m A Celebrity: Get Over It. #flashfiction #microcosms | willowdot21

  8. Entertainment at its best, GEoff

    Liked by 1 person

  9. I don’t know how you do it! Still in awe 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  10. JT Twissel says:

    Good rift on “taking a piss.” Gave me a giggle!

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Truth decay is good

    Like

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