Chelsea Owens has this thing, about terrible poetry. Here are two. Last week she wanted a rewritten popular song with a satirical edge so, well, Lucy In The Sky with Diamonds has been mullered as requested.
This week it’s a moral tale.
So first up, here’s the proper version of LS in the D so you can earworm the tune and then , off you go, karaoke my oeuvre… you know you want to…
Position yourself on the left of the centre
A democrat with a glint in the eye
Make a friend with a tea party member
Who’s more interested in the How than the Why.
Set up a committee to debate the issues
That matter to ordinary men on the bus.
Given them a budget to commission reporting
And let them know you don’t want a fuss.
Technical topics are always banned
They’ll only go over your heads
Look instead for a popular cause like a wall
And it’s done
Nancy’s in cahoots with Donald
Nancy’s in cahoots with Donald, ah, ah
Follow them now until the election
And watch as they build a castle of lies.
No one smiles and everything’s gone sour
And the only way out is to get high….
And then a tale with a moral…
The Moral Compass
You self selecting knowalls who like to set the standards
Are also always least inclined to put in all the hard yards.
You moralise and come to judge and put us on the spot
And tell us when to do a thing and when it’s best to not.
You never have a shadowy doubt or moment’s indecision
Because you clearly understand the black from white distinction.
Your word is law and handed down with absolute finality
As you set us right like simpletons with patronising clarity.
It takes a certain chutzpah to share this clear eyed confidence
And hold the line, despite attacks, with constant insouciance.
But the point you miss when your only focus is on your moral compass
Is that the world hates no one more than a moralising smart-arse.
TanGental 
Can’t believe you managed to get “insouciance” and “arse” in the same poem! Well, wait, maybe I can. Really something!
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It’s one of my top achievement, up there with becoming a father and being able to sing the Monty Python classic Every Sperm Is Sacred In Latvian
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It’s a twofer! I did actually manage to sing a good part of the LSD song though the neighbours aren’t happy
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Oh dear. Give them a bag of polenta from me…
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Nancy in cahoots with Donald – there would have to be some LSD going on there!
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It’s a thought to try and imagine… hard though…
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Great last line in the second poem. I will not start singing that song in my head. I will not start singing that song in my head. I will not…
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Very wise, don’t give into temptation…
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Every line a winner💜
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Now that is flattery!
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Nevertheless true 💜
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