Sun Block #dianaprompt #speclativefiction

‘Oh hello, Constable. To what… Petey, is that you? Come out from behind the policeman. What have you done this time?’

‘Been a bit of a naughty boy, I’m afraid, Mrs O’Drool.”

‘Delightful.’

‘It’s isn’t really, Mrs O’Drool. Not when you hear what he’s been up to.’

‘My name. It’s Delightful O’Drool. Please call me Delightful.’

‘Er, OK. It’s just… well…’

‘It is unusual. But I decided to keep it when I married.’

‘Why not? I mean what’s wrong with Delightful?’

‘No, O’Drool. I kept that.’

‘Oh, really?’

‘My husband’s a Sputum. We didn’t think Delightful Sputum carried the right first impression.’

‘No quite. About your son?’

‘Oh yes, sorry. What’s he done this time?’

‘He’s been in trouble before?’

‘It’s not really his fault of course but he’s young and these things happen.’

‘Things?’

‘You’re new aren’t you, er, sorry I didn’t catch your name.’

‘Constable.’

‘I understand you’re a policeman, but…’

‘My name is Constable.’

‘Constable Constable?’

‘I’m afraid so.’

‘Maybe I should use your Christian name?’

‘Doggin.’

‘Really?’

‘It’s Etruscan. My mother didn’t realise the, um connotations.’

‘Shall we stick with Constable?’

‘If you don’t mind.’

‘What’s Petey been up to? He hasn’t changed anyone?’

‘Changed?’

‘Personally I think Penelope Galeforce made a mountain out of a molehill.   I agree it was unfortunate that Derek Mossblender milked her but he wasn’t to know Petey had a thing about Friesians. If she hadn’t gone wandering off, it would never have happened.’

‘You changed a woman into a cow, Petey?’

‘Well everyone has always said she’s a right cow and Petey’s always been impressionable like that. He likes a thing to be as people say it is. And my husband changed her back and Derek let her keep all her own milk which, frankly, was quite generous given the kicking she gave him.’

‘This was reported, was it?’

‘Oh yes. All magical infractions are reported to the proper authorities. Even minor turbulences.’

‘Turbulences?’

‘Quakes, eruptions, that sort of thing. You know what boys are like. They love a bit of a bang, don’t they? We’ve told him he mustn’t use lava, play tectonics at school except at break time and never try to knock over Mr Geriatric when he’s on a perambulation. It was one thing when he was constantly shape-shifting – it slowed him down – but now he’s old it’s a bit unfair.’

‘Mr Geriatric? He runs the post office and he shape-shifts?’

‘Only occasionally. It’s dreadful for his lumbago. Still you didn’t come here to discuss Old Geriatric’s posture problems, did you? What did Petey do?’

‘You see how dark it is?’

‘Now you mention it, it is a bit gloomy.’

‘He’s blocked the sun.’

‘Oh Petey, why?’

‘It’s his fault, Ma. Robin’s been grounded so I was just playing eclipses with my football while Robin unlocked his mum’s entrapment spell and this policeman appeared and told me to stop what I was doing immediately. So I did. And then he got all angry when the ball wouldn’t come down.’

‘Petey, did you leave it up there deliberately?’

‘You told me I must always do what the police tell me.’

‘I’ve also told you not to be so literal. I’m sorry, Constable, I’ll get him to take it down straight away. And you, Petey. You do exactly what he says, alright?’

‘Thank you Mrs O’Drool. Delightful. Ok, Petey, I’ll say no more this time but from now on I want you to understand I’m going to be keeping my eyes on you. I… I… What’s happening? I can’t see.’

‘Peter O’Drool you give the nice Constable his eyes back this minute or you’ll be giving a couple of litres to Vampire Relief. Please, Constable, come in and sit down. While you wrap yourself around a nice cuppa, you can tell me about yourself. Constable, Constable, you really don’t need to go quite so fast.’

This was penned in response to Diana’s March speculative fiction prompt, here. Feel free to join in. You have until the 23rd March

About TanGental

My name is Geoff Le Pard. Once I was a lawyer; now I am a writer. I've published four books - Dead Flies and Sherry Trifle, My Father and Other Liars, Salisbury Square and Buster & Moo. In addition I have published two anthologies of short stories, Life, in a Grain of Sand and Life in a Flash. More will appear soon, including a memoir of my mother's last years. I will try and continue to blog regularly at geofflepard.com about whatever takes my fancy. I hope it does yours too. These are my thoughts and no one else is to blame. If you want to nab anything I post, please acknowledge where it came from.
This entry was posted in creative writing, prompt, writing. Bookmark the permalink.

45 Responses to Sun Block #dianaprompt #speclativefiction

  1. LOL, Loved this. Sharing on Facebook. Hope you don’t mind.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Ritu says:

    You killed it again!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. A fun write Geoff.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. A fine bit of light relief to throw into the mix 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  5. JT Twissel says:

    What a deranged group! Lol.

    Liked by 1 person

    • TanGental says:

      Ah those were the days when we playfully blocked out the sun with our toys. Now it’s impossible to get the time and space for a bit of cosmic disruption

      Like

  6. Elizabeth says:

    Where do I send a donation to Vampire Relief??

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Hilarious, Geoff. I wanted so much more of these characters. I love the matter-of-fact acceptance of magic. And the names are beyond funny. Thanks so much for lightening up the day. I’ll get this set up for a reblog. Thanks so much!!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Very “power”ful, Geoff!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. willowdot21 says:

    Brilliant, loved it the name is willow, willow willers .💜

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Reblogged this on Myths of the Mirror and commented:
    Ready for a laugh? Check out Geoff’s take on the prompt. 🙂 Lol

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Jackie says:

    Delightfully droll!

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Hilarious, that was a fun read! Diana sure came up with a good image prompt this month.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. areilly88 says:

    Fantastic! What fun. Lovely for a smile at the end of a workday. Thank you!

    Liked by 1 person

  14. It’s obvious you had fun with this one, Geoff. Nice job!

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Stunning. I was enjoying it so much I forgot the title

    Liked by 1 person

  16. mylilplace says:

    Great imagination and humor! Can we see more of Delightful O’Drool and Constable Constable, please?

    Like

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